What is she doing that isn't great during the 5% of the time? Is she moody, reclusive, snarky, bratty? Just won't listen to you? Could be a teenage thing, could be a girl thing.
Hormones turn nice girls into insane bitches. At that age she doesn't know how to control the crazy yet.
Thanks Pimptress and Bewildered, I'm taking into account her age, and I suspect that the 5% is probably mostly due to this. She's going through a tough time with her father right now, and I'm trying to be understanding about that. She's having some minor grade issues and school, so we've started restricting things at home so that she studies better. She doesn't understand, is having problems adapting to the new rules, and has a problem talking back. I know, I know.... classic teenager. Trust me, I know. But I'm hoping someone out there has an idea of how to talk to her in a way she can understand. I do my best to remain calm and use logic. This works about 15% of the time. When I become angry/frustrated, I generally just try to leave the room to calm down. I'm not trying to replace her dad, just trying to do the best I can at home. In retrospect this was probably a silly question given that most kids act like this at this age. I just don't have a typical childhood to draw from as when I was this age my parents still used the ol' "yell at and beat you" method.
step kids - male or female - don't need you to be a new parent (you say you're not...that's awesome). They just need consistent rules in your household. Consistent and fair rules, and compassion. As far as teenagers go - dude. Teenaged girls are just about the most goddamn difficult things ever. Just (again) be consistent and for the love of God don't feed their emotional reaction. And drink. At night. After they've gone to bed. It's the only way to get through this. Signed, the exasperated mother of a soon to be 17 year old girl.
Xanax helped a lot with my stepdaughter. For me, it prevented her demise. What shimmered said, consistency is key. Don't react to the insanity.
A couple of things I learned working alongside teenage gang-bangers: 1. Acknowledge their feelings. There's nothing worse than hearing an adult say "I don't care", or "That's not important." 2. Give them as much control over their lives as you can. This will make their transition into adulthood easier, but what this translates into is: crazy clothes, ok. Crazy music, crazy driving, crazy taste in food, whatever. A lot of this will initially be done to see what shocks/disgusts/gets a rise out of you. When nothing really does, and all that remains is the truly fucked up, the line will be clear. 3. Put the things they want within reach. This is where negotiating happens and your job is to make it possible, but not easy. For example: Her: "Can I have an Ipad for my birthday?" You: "I think so. It's expensive, and I can't afford one for you and your brother for his birthday. You won't want to share it, right? So, I'll pay for half of one, your grandmother will buy you a nice case, and your mom can still buy you the stuff she wants you to have." Her: (Crazy whargarbl). You: (Shrug). "That's the deal. You think of something that's more fair, I'll listen." 4. I agree with previous posts: consistent rules. 5. Understand (or remember) that they can only compare their lives to their friend's lives. 6. Dear God, keep them busy. Nothing terrified me more than "We don't have anything to do."
Might I suggest brushing up on your Animaniacs? I know that a good chunk of my life (I have two older sisters) has been spent learning to deal with any woman's inner "Katie Kaboom", as it were.
For whatever it's worth, when I think about how my dad did his parenting throughout my teenager years, these are pretty much bullet point by bullet point what I've always appreciated and considered to be good parenting that helped a lot. Especially number 2 and 3. So do that. If you're planning on having kids, you're going to be a good dad, sir.
My mom turns 50 in a couple weeks, and wants a fancy watch. She's been stuck on the idea of a Rolex, but I'd like to know if any ladies on here have a fancy lady watch that they like for $3K or less. I remember the guys saying that the Rolex brand isn't worth the price.
I just got an Omega Seamaster, the stainless version with white face, no diamonds or anything, and it was about $2700. I chose it because those things last forever, my husband wears my grandpa's Omega on a regular basis and I believe it is from the 60's, and they look great. Very classic, not gaudy. The Seamaster in particular is pretty sporty looking, it's a chunkier chain bracelet and face, but they have a bunch of styles depending on what your mom is looking for.
I just ran on the treadmill and now my tits hurt. I think it's my crappy sports bra. Has anyone ever purchased one of those super-tight compression sports bras for DD+ boobs? I want my knockers to stay immobile and feel strangled. Not kidding. But I also like to fully expand my rib cage to breathe, which seems to be the downfall of every medium-compression sports bra I've ever tried on.
I have a friend who found this information from Champion useful: Bra Finder Fit Videos When it comes to your boobs, I'm here to help.
Any ladies on here have any experience using a menstrual cup? Yes, yes, I know it sounds exceedingly gross if you Google what it is, but I had heard it was better for women that have a tendency toward horrid cramps (like me) because unlike a tampon which absorbs, this allows the body to dispel the mess, if that makes any sense. There might be some truth to this because if I wear a pad my cramps only require a couple of Advil, as opposed to the 1000mg of Advil and another 1000mg of Tylenol if I wear a plug the first two days of the curse. I'm still not sold on the idea, but my mind can be changed.
I've used the disposable one. It can be messy. Don't try to take it out drunk. Whewwww boy. And, depending on how heavy your flow is, you may not know it's full til it...overflows. But otherwise they're nifty.