My father in law is an asshole, I wouldn't piss on him if he was dying of thirst. Needless to say I didn't ask him if I could marry his daughter.
If she's close to her father, I'd agree with Frank: no harm in asking. When I get married, the poor guy will have to have a heart-to-heart with my dad because his approval (and my family's general acceptance) mean a lot to me. Certainly enough to adhere to that one remnant of tradition.
From personal experience make sure you are prepared with a relationship saving response If he tells you he has reservations. Remember, you do want him to pay for the wedding whether he is ready to or not.
HIGH FIVE for mother fucking Depo. I haven't had a period for about 10 years and it is glorious. I can't have kids anyway, so I'm trying to just get a ablation and be done with it.
I switched over to Implanon from Depo. Same effects as Depo, but for 5 years instead of 3 months. Only downside was that my upper arm was a little sore for about two weeks after it was implanted, and I looked like I'd taken a decent beating to that one 2x1 spot.
Have any of you had an IUD? Paragard freaks me out because of the potential for awful periods, and Mirena freaks me out because I had such an awful reaction to the pill (gained weight, got acne, was depressed and angry) and I don't know how my body would react to the hormones it releases. But all that being said, not having to use condoms for once would be nice.
I think after reading the last few pages, I can wholeheartedly agree ladies get what they called in ancient times as the "Shit End Of The Stick."
That's similar to the internal debate I had when choosing between Implanon and Mirena. I've been on some form of hormonal birth control for over a decade, and have definitely suffered the weight gain consequence. However, I'd rather battle that than risk heavy periods (I've gotten quite used to never having a period. Ever.) or uterine perforation (which isn't a risk of Mirena, but Mirena is also hormonal and carries a risk of migration). Condoms are the most painless route, but it all comes down to what's most important to you - condom-free sex, or no weight gain or other weird side effects.
A) Hooray! I love being a dude! B) My poor wife is on the pill, but I swear her periods last a good 9 or 10 days, and they have for as long as we've been together. I know she fucking hates it, and it was her favorite part of being pregnant: no period. C) When it came to asking the father-in-law about getting married? I actually asked my wife's mother. Anyone who has met my in-laws knows who wears the pants in that family, and it ain't my quiet, reserved, beaten-down-by-years-of-marriage-to-a-crazy-harpy father in law. Sure, he owns the guns and shoots them, but my mother-in-law is the one that tells him where to aim, so I made sure to ask her first.
I have the Mirena IUD and would highly recommend it. (FYI Mirena IUDs and Implanon both use the same hormones - so they're pretty much interchangeable, only the idea of getting something implanted into my arm freaked me out and I like that it lasts 5 years rather than 3. Neither of them use estrogen, which is what causes a lot of the side effects people don't enjoy with the pill/patch/ring. But then again, the shot doesn't use estrogen either and the same people will often have a better experience with an IUD or Implanon than Depo so..shrug) The insertion was not pleasant, to say the least. I almost fainted/threw up and I spent the rest of the day writhing around in my bed on the brink of tears. It was like years of not having cramping caught up with me. It felt a little weird/uncomfortable for about a week or so after that, and now I don't feel it at all or have any side effects whatsoever besides the positive one of still not having a period. (Although, every now and then I'll start cramping when I sneeze...?) But, several of my coworkers have IUDs and since we tend to talk about birth control now and then at Planned Parenthood, my experiences seems to be in the minority. I have a theory as to why I had such a hard time, though. They recommend it for women who've already had kids or for the insertion to at least be done while you're on your period because your cervix is lower/looser/softer and the insertion's easier that way, and I think with the lack of periods for so many years my cervix was just not used to being fucked with and freaked the hell out on me. Plus, apparently everything up in there is small and tight -as has been commented by several OBGYNS and penises - so I'm pretty sure I was just destined to have a shitty IUD insertion. Anyway. The cost was completely covered by my insurance thanks to the changes made last summer and now I don't have to put a single thought or penny into birth control for the next five years.
On another note, these two Tumblrs were linked to from a blog I read that was talking about something porn-y, and I would recommend them: Porn 4 Ladies Dicks For Girls (Very cleverly named, I know.) I don't know how you guys feel, but every time I've seen porn that was made and marketed for girls specifically, I've found it super boring or just otherwise unsuccessful in being arousing. Even when it's just pictures of dudes, I'm usually just very aware that it's supposed to be for a gay man and about 7/10 times what's going to do it for a gay man is not going to do it for me. Now, it's not like I can't find porn for straight guys that I also like, but it was so nice to find these sites and be like "ooooohhhh so that's what it feels like to actually 'connect' with porn," as ridiculous as it is to use the word "connect" in this context. I think it's mostly because they feature the type of people I actually find attractive, especially the guys. James Deen is basically the only guy I've found attractive in porn,ever. And while it's more common to find girls I think are hot it's still not the norm. Anyway, what I'm trying to say is, I found these to be a treat for my bathing suit areas and sharing is caring.
I'm still super pro Lo-loestrin. I mean, I have to take a pill every day, but I have zero side effects (no weight gain, mood swings, aches, etc) and my period is almost non existent. Plus, you know, no babies.
I can't have an IUD because the neck of my uterus is bent. Yay. And because The Husband and I want a kidlet in the next year or so.
Wait, what? This is still something that's done? Did you also show up with two cows to sweeten the deal in case he was on the fence about it? Personally, the very idea of asking someone's Dad if I could marry his daughter (who is presumably a fully actualized adult human being who has agency and can make her own decisions) offends the hell out of me. And I'd pretty much lose most or all respect for him if it was something he felt entitled to. Oh well, I guess this is just one more reason that I'll probably never get married.
You're not really asking for permission, you're asking for a blessing, there's a difference. I think it's the least you can give him if you want him to kick any money (especially if you're getting married in New England, holy fucking shit) in for the wedding. I don't know how things use to roll but if he didn't want us getting married we still would, just maybe sans family present, like you said she's an adult. But the wedding day is at least a big of deal for the parents as it is for the couple and I think getting his opinion is a good gesture. That said I did ask her (sans ring at the time) first and asked him more as a formality, but shhhhhhh, no one needs to know that.
I'm debating this right now. The GFs dad is a deadbeat that she only sees a few times a year. But he's an Italian immigrant so there's a strong cultural expectation for me to come talk to him first. I'm worried his white trash, obnoxious girlfriend will blow it though. I secretly wish she would just croak so me and the girl don't have to deal with her.
See you guys should do what I did and marry a girl that barely knows her father. That worked out swell for me.