Oh man. An old friend from a decade ago and I have reconnected via facebook. His little sister just sent me a message telling me she always had a crush on me. She is 18. I am 30. and so very creeped out.
The DKE chapter at UA had (before their building was torn down to expand the stadium) a huge mural of a goat, have a goat's head in their chapter logo (goat doesn't appear in the national organization logo), and they are all well aware of the rumor. I wouldn't be suggesting that he fucked a goat, just acknowledging the organization's reputation...in a very suggestive tone. I think you mean I should ask why he hasn't denied raping and killing a young girl in 1990.
Zippppppp.... Now say that again, but slower and with more detail. Gimmie a second, I have to dim the lights.
Oh, another fun angle to the goat sex story. I found out yesterday that the manager of my regular bar was in DKE at the same time as this guy. When I said "So you must have been at UA when the arson happened," he quickly changed the subject. You know the rule, if there's grass on the field ...tell her to shave.
Look on the bright side. At least she waited long enough to tell you so that your perverted Internet friends could pleasure themselves to the thought of it without hating themselves even more than they already do. It's all about silver linings.
Out of the blue last night, the hot new latina waitress at my regular bar started flirting with me and asked me for my number. I'm pretty sure she knows I'm broke, definitely sure she could see my only-slightly-better-than-average-kinda-looks-a-lot-like-my-avatar face, and let's face it, I couldn't run The Cube routine to save my life. What the fuck? I know it seems a stupid thing to get upset about, but I don't like it when things don't conform to my world view.
She is a cute little blonde and she is 20, I was wrong about her age. She is coming over this week for me to dye her hair.
We shall see. Blondes usually aren't my thing, but I haven't played with a girl in a while, aside from random implant groping. "Moral" dilemna: How would her big bro feel about me "game on"ing with his little sister?!
Wait, please tell us that she is a also cheerleader and she's coming over right after practice, but doesn't have time to change...
Well, she is a bit old to be a current cheerleader. She will be coming over after her shift at Smashburger, which is possibly more appealing to you silly boys.
She might be delectable. But she will most likely smell like grease and french fries. Whatever floats your boat. Or sinks it.* *I'm assuming she is fat because she works at smashburger. Everyone that works at the one by me is obese.
He'd probably be all: Ok I just really needed a reason to post this bird. It's been cracking me the fuck up for an hour. Smashburger sounds like a place where burgers go to prison rape each other. Kind of like Thunderdome, but with ground meat.