What? You mean turn it into a crack pipe? How? What kind of drug dealer would accept that as payment anyway?
Just give her the thing with the stipulation that you get to take a few pics of her with it. I'm sure she'd never come back into your store seeking anything free ever again. Nope no way Jose.
She had 4 dollars but she needed 12. She's out in the street begging for the difference. I'm not in my store today. I'm downtown in the courthouse foyer. I swear. Not even fucking free day at the zoo can showcase the depths of humanity like this place.
Let me tell a story. When I started that thread about the panty-stealing, cross-dressing, serial-killing colonel, complete with resplendent picture of the good sir, I got a comment from jennitalia pointing out that she was juuuuust about to rub one out, and now the mood was ruined. Sir, that picture may have ruined my ability to have an erection for several days, and I don't know if it's the migraine or what but I am physically nauseated by that image.
That, I don't care out. What piques my interest is what Jennitalia was looking for on the TiB prior to rubbing one out. Coz, you know, I love you guys and all but I don't think of you when I'm going to go have a hand shandy.
For your information I was about to head to The Porn Thread to find a link I had posted earlier. For whatever reason I decided to click that shit first. Mood killed.
My homeless lady friend just stopped by to model her new sombrero that she found in the trash can and to inform me that she is now only four dollars short in her quest to possess her very own Halloween voice changing megaphone. Could be funny tomorrow.
So I wound up donating the kid's toy Halloween voice changer to my homeless lady friend 'Brenda' after she worked up the purchase amount if she promised to get herself a hamburger for dinner. She immediately became my best salesgirl ever, selling three in just under five minutes. Here is the clip. And yes, that guy bought the last one. Sorry for the video quality. I'm a virgin. Then she went outside and found people on benches. Then she prayed. Later, she went in the street and danced in traffic with it.
Wow, it's nice to see Jenn posting on this thread without the impression that she was typing while wearing falconry gloves: Jesuss what a night. Sexxx with guy tonite on danceflor everbody watching didnt give afuck. We were both dressd as vikings so it was fate I gess. He even bought breakfast inna morning watta sweetie.
Nicely done - philanthropy and comedy collide. Are these two things related? After watching those videos, I think I'm going to start using a new phrase. Instead of "like a kid in a candy store" I'm going with "like a homeless lady with a halloween voice changer."
Maybe because I'm a closeted anti-Semite, or maybe because I have a special loathing of all manner of tribalism, but I have zero sympathy for someone who claims rape when they find out their paramour wasn't quite who they thought they were. If your sole basis for sleeping with someone was their belonging / not belonging to a particular religion or ethnicity, then you deserve to discover you just got haraamed by a kuffar.
Are we doing shit on affirmative consent, or can this go back to being the WDT? There is no plan for me to get extremely wasted tonight. However, it will probably happen. I am heading back to my (first) alma mater for Homecoming this weekend. I am staying at hotel with 6 of my fraternity brothers, one of whom just got out of the federal pen. We used to drink a lot in college. Like, a lot. A graduated 20 years ago (yes, I'm old. Shut up.) so this should be interesting. 3 hour drive and then it's game on, bitches.
Oh shit, Lotus is playing tonight in Tulsa...wonder if I could convince any of my friends to go. Otherwise I'll end up drinking and playing halo again tonight.
I just saw a sexy fat woman! I wonder what the slap to success ratio would be for me to get enough fat assess photographed to make my own montage?
I just had a great banjo-harmonica-acoustic guitar jam session with my buddy. In the atrium of our school building. I haven't felt that good after playing music in, well, ever, maybe.