I've got a goofy looking lion onesie and I'm going to bloody it up and grab a crossbow bolt I've got back in the closet that I'll use as a prop, but probably get wasted and break at some point. It's ridiculously cliche for this year, but comfort is key. Wearing a soft onesie out can only be done on this one night a year without getting committed.
How are you going to piss in a onesie? This has catastrophe written all over it. Get it? CATastrophe. Lion costume. Fuck you. No, but really, you're going to piss all over yourself. My costume will most likely be The Dude since all I have to do is wear any pair of shorts, sandals, a t-shirt, and robe. Surprisingly this is easy to come by in Florida. Or I won't dress up at all and just go get drunk and stare at tits. Life is a mysterious game.
UPDATE: I will not be going as Sterling Archer this year. At one point I had gathered up almost the whole ISIS crew (Pam, Cheryl, Cyril, Ray, and Lana - a Mexican version of Lana, but if you've seen one huge brown woman, you've seen 'em all, am I right? Kidding...), and everybody has flaked out except for Pam. Without all the others, I'm just a dashingly handsome man in a suit, with a fat girl next to me. So here's what I'm going to be doing this Halloween: Aiding and abetting Li'l Bandit and some of his buddies as the perpetrate shenanigans. I'm driving the getaway car, helping with supplies (eggs, toilet paper, paper bag and dog feces, etc.), and providing advice. I figure it's what any responsible father would do for his son on Halloween.
Everyone getting old and popping out kids sucks for adult Halloween parties. "We're just going to walk the kids around the neighborhood." Pffffttttt. How am I supposed to get all shithoused and stare at various renditions of slutty nurses, slutty cops, slutty superheroes? The Wife and I will probably end re-wearing last years super unique costumes and handing out candy to the neighborhood kids. Ah, the rockstar life we live.
Nah it buttons like a shirt pretty much all the way down. It might still be a total shitshow, but at least I won't piss on my self.
The girlfriend wanted to do a "couples costume" this year so I agreed as long as it was something that I didn't really have to put much effort into. Since more than a few people have told me I bear a striking resemblance to Colin O'Donoghue, I picked Captain Hook and made her go as Emma Swan. Already had all the clothes lying around, just had to buy a $3 hook and ready to go.
Hello everybody! I've got an important message for all of you parents out there in TiB-land: If you're thinking of dressing your child in any of these costumes for Halloween - don't. Thank you, this concludes my court-mandated public service announcement. http://www.cracked.com/article_23236_11-fun-childrens-halloween-costumes-if-you-hate-your-kids.html
UPDATE: I just saw Li'l Bandit a few hours ago, and ALL OF HIS FRIENDS BAILED ON THE PRANKING PLAN, and now he doesn't want to do it. What a bunch of little panty-waists. So it looks like all of you who had a betting pool based on "Will Bandit get arrested this Halloween?" can call it off. I'm staying home tomorrow. Times like these, the only person who can make me smile is Elvira: Spoiler
My mother-in-law is over from England for the month so naturally we put her to work, she and my wife carved 30 pumpkins.
I ran a road race this morning where people were encouraged to dress up in costume. THERE WAS NOT ONE SLUTTY NURSE COSTUME. It's like it was a family-oriented charity event or something. It was but THAT'S NOT THE POINT. Gosh, what has become of the college girls and young milfs in this country? I am disappoint.