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TiB's Second Birthday Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Puffman, Oct 19, 2011.

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  1. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    This was the real conversation between my wife and myself, I guess about a year ago.

    Me: "Why is this Kardashian chick famous?"
    Her: "She made a sex tape."
    Me: "Yeah, I know, but what made her famous before that."
    Her: "She made a sex tape."
    Me: "Thank you for repeating yourself, I heard you the first time. My point is people don't get famous for sex tapes, they were famous before that, or sorta famous, then the sex tape makes them more famous. So what made her famous in the first place?"
    Her: "She made a sex tape."
    Me: "Godfucking damnit, hon, stop fucking with me. Only porn stars get famous for making sex tapes."
    Her: "SHE MADE A FUCKING SEX TAPE YOU NITWIT, THAT'S THE ONLY REASON SHE'S FAMOUS."
    Me:...
    Me:...
    Me:...
    Me: "Can we make a sex tape?"

    I won't repeat what she said after that. Long story short, it baffles me how celebrity works in this country. I think Kardashian is good looking, don't get me wrong, but to literally be famous for nothing more than poor fucking on a sex tape. Wow. I was right, humanity is a failed experiment.
     
  2. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    All the positive reviews on Amazon are amazing:

    "This is by far the best assisted suicide novel I have ever read. I was literally cutting my wrists as every page was turned. Bravo Snooki!!"

    "I loved this book!!! It's really good and absorbing!!! I put that in the bottom of my hamster's cage and, because of the lack of content, absorbed everything my hamster did!!! It's unbeleivable!!!"

    "I use to be Harvard inglish profeser. I reed this bok and now forgot how spel and use inglish.
    Plot was nyce, had good story and hot chicks."

    "I still pine for the day when Wicket W. Warrick releases his memoirs of the Battle of Endor, but until then, we'll just have to settle for this excellent translation. It's one of the cleanest in the English language, where the grunts and vernacular of the vertically challenged and girth enhanced Ewok Snooki come across in all their simplicity."

    The book synopsis:
    Her last name is Spumanti. You fucking stunods don't know good literature.
     
  3. Noland

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    Me: "Why is this Kardashian chick famous?"

    She was lucky.
     
  4. bewildered

    bewildered
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    Deeply satisfied pooper

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    BOOM ROASTED
     
  5. ASL

    ASL
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    Disturbed

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    I think that actually WOULD be the greatest prank ever.
     
  6. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    She made a sex tape with a psuedo-celeb, had some hollywood connections, including a stepbrother already in the reality biz. After that, she relentlessly leveraged the shit out of her soul, with a nod to a mother who sees no problem milking her children for every last dollar.

    2% talent, 20% hard work, 50% luck, 28% American...intellectual sluggishness.


    IMO.
     
  7. Beefy Phil

    Beefy Phil
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    Hm. So, I hate language now.
     
  8. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    As much as I just laughed out loud reading that plot synopsis I think this may have ruined Spumanti for me. Fuck.

    Although I have no interest in watching this show the whole guido thing kind of fascinates me in the same way someone's druggie felon cousin fascinates the rest of the family. I mean I'm Italian, but these clowns don't seem Italian at all. Do they even have any actual Italian customs or mannerisms? They all seem like a bunch of posers to me.
     
  9. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    A little something for CJ, to thank him for reminding me that goddamned Snookie is an author...

    [​IMG]
     
  10. Kubla Kahn

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    Marketers about a decade ago figured out 18-45 year old men buy everything.... they think is cool to black guys.
     
  11. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    So I figured out what the culprit of my high grocery bill was and it was the apples. Those six apples I bought cost $10. On the other hand Honeycrisp apples are the most delicious apples in the world. You're seriously missing out if you've never had one of these.
     
  12. audreymonroe

    audreymonroe
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    The most powerful cervix... in the world...

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    Hey.

    Do you guys ever feel self-conscious about how loud it is when you pee?

    Because, damn.
     
  13. Beefy Phil

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    Truth. All other apples taste like hot baby shit after these motherfuckers.

    Freak.
     
  14. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    #934 Juice, Oct 26, 2011
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  15. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Are you one of those people who just buys whatever they need at the store w/o looking at the price? I pretty much always have a running tally and an idea of what's on sale before I even begin...

    But if I recall correctly, you have a very good job, just sittin' all dandy with your fancy apples and your dashing top hats and your single serve monocles.
     
  16. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    OH NO YOU DI-INT!!!

    Dude, I'm not that great of a DJ and it's strictly part time. On the other hand, it's not that tough of a job to do. In fact, it's a dream job. You get paid $100 an hour to play music for women who don't like to wear too much clothing and the pommaded brohams that grind them.

    Or in my case nowadays, you play W.A.S.P weddings and no, I don't mean for Blackie Lawless. Those are, unto themself, more fun than clubs and bars. Really. When you have the time, take a seat with a beer and actually watch what us drunk thirty-something whities are like on an uncrowded dancefloor. It's enough to void even the strongest bladder.

    I've also seen clips of that talking petrified cactus Pauly D DJ'ing, and from what I saw he's very good but he's a "Booth DJ"- he's not like Oakenfold, Deadmau5 or Tiesto who compose and record their own original music.
     
  17. Trakiel

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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Actually I do note price and keep a mental tab as I'm shopping; I just didn't do it with those apples. I love Honeycrisp apples and I've been waiting for my grocery store to get them since they're only in season in the fall. When they finally game in I just grabbed a bunch without paying attention to their cost since I've been waiting so damn long to get them. They're more expensive than I anticipated but they're too damn delicious for me to pass on.
     
  18. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Granny Smith >>>

    Fruit gets maaad expensive though. Do you have fruit stands where you live? Prices are normally better, as is the selection.
     
  19. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Granny Smith? Clearly you've never had a Honeycrisp. Not to put GS down, it's a servicable apple, it's just that once you've had the sweet ambrosia of the gods that is the honeycrisp apple all other apples are banal and tasteless in comparison.

    And yeah, fruit is fucking expensive. Just the fruit I bought cost around $16.50, and the raspberries and blueberries are already gone. We have farmers' markets around where I live but I'm not sure about fruit stands.

    Any TC posters know anything about fruits stands in the area?
     
  20. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    She also had a father who was famous for defending OJ Simpson. You might have heard that a couple people watched that trial on TV, so the name recognition was there. And, she has a step father who won a Gold Medal in the Summer Olympics. So, it's not like she was Becky, the regular person, that made a sex tape to start with.

    Also, somebody was lumping Britney Spears in with Paris Hilton earlier. Not liking Britney Spears is one thing, but saying she's a talentless skank is another. She was selected from many kids to be on Mickey Mouse Club, then used that to springboard into her pop career. Which, by the way, is not dead. I believe she had quite a successful tour this last Summer and several top 40 hits this calendar year. Not my taste, but she did have the hits and did put in the work to tour with the dancing and what not.

    I have no idea what the appeal is for Paris Hilton, though.
     
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