I was supposed to work tonight but the boat that was coming in got changed. Now I have no costume for going out tonight. Any quick ideas? Last year I went as a tourist. Hawaiian shirt, straw hat, fanny pack, sun glasses, and an old camera around my neck.
Going out with 3 of my married female friends tonight. They are all hell bent on "slutting it up" and getting "like totally wasted" because they have all left their children with their husbands and bought sexy costumes. I've got a long night of holding hair and repeating "honey, pull up your sexy firefighter/cop/nurse bustier, I can see your areolas" ahead of me. Drink for me.
Went to a different store, bought two bottles of wine. Decent wine, but was on sale, and apparently there's a deal on two bottles of wine, so they were just 10 bucks total. Think I'm gonna skip throwing together a costume and braving the snow in favor of just drinking wine and eating a sandwich.
I got reverse cock blocked last night. Cock enabled, if you will. I was making out with this girl, and it was fine I guess, but I didn't intend to go anywhere with it. But every time I started losing interest and drifting away, her fat friend kept saying "come on, don't you want to get laid tonight?!" After a while I told the fat friend "come on, she's getting way too drunk [it was her birthday] this will never happen" she was all "no, no, you can totally have sex with her!" She did get way too drunk and sex was not an option due to moral and practical reasons, but still... Way to go, fat friend. Way to go.
I hope everyone has a good time tonight getting hammered. I'll be spending the night in the hospital reminding my brother what the date is, who the president is, where he's at etc etc etc.
Question for you all: My wife went to Russia about 7 years ago to adopt our daughter (this is before we got together, but she's "our" daughter since I've been her Daddy for about 6 years). She bought a bottle of genuine Russian vodka as a souvenir. The vodka is still in the bottle, cap sealed. She has no intention of ever drinking the vodka, she just bought it because it's a very cool looking bottle and reminds her of the trip. I say you can carefully break the seal, drink all the vodka, fill it with water, and it is still a nice souvenir. She says no. The bottle currently resides in a cabinet in our kitchen where we keep various other bottles of liquor. It is NOT out in the open as a blatant souvenir. The bottle has been kept in the dark for 7 years. So, would you guys open it and drink it?
I'm not saying I would do that behind her back. I just think that her logic is somewhat silly, and it looks like good Russkie vodka. If you're never going to drink it, what does it matter what's inside the bottle? Hell, you can have a souvenir bottle and leave it empty.
If I've learned anything over the last few years, it's that the best way to go about life is to act first, beg forgiveness if you get caught, and then just take the punishment and move on. But dude, your wife is looking at this bottle of vodka as a souvenir of your adopted child. Sure, that's more than a little bit silly. But how good can that vodka possibly be? As good as a $40 bottle of Tito's or Ketel One? So good that it's worth the shitstorm your wife will throw? Nipples: NSFW A gif hooker would like: NSFW