Thanks for the tips, ladies! I think the take-home message here is that tattoos = awesome, temporary tattoos = not worth the trouble. Mya - that make-up came off and those pins came out the minute I got in the house. Sweet. Jesus. I'm never teasing my hair again. EVER.
Conversation I had with a little black boy on the subway: Boy: "Girl, are you in costume, or do you always dress that fly?" Me: "I'm in costume but, yes. Yes, I do." Conversation I had with my dad: Text to dad: "SOMEONE MADE THE MISTAKE OF TYING TWO PUGS UP OUTSIDE THE GROCERY STORE. They won't be there upon their return." Text from dad: "That's what they get for bringing the dogs." To dad: "Trick or treat, bitches!!" From dad: "Ummmm....you're not taking the dogs." One second later, call from dad in a panic: "'AUDREY', TELL ME YOU DID NOT TAKE THE DOGS. DID YOU TAKE THE DOGS? DO NOT TAKE THE DOGS." Me: "Dad, I was joking." Dad: "Tell me the truth. Did you take the dogs?" Me: "No!" Thanks, Dad. Conversation I had with magazine store in my neighborhood guy after I walk in and stop short because all I see are porno mags. Me: "Oh..........what....?" Magazine store guy: "Yeah, after 9 this turns into a different kind of store." Conversation I had with the guy who works at the bodega, upon bringing my beers up to the register: Bodega guy: "That'll be $4.50." Me: "Oh, these don't count for trick or treating?" Bodega guy: "No, but do you want some lollipops?" Me: "Absolutely."
If I could grow a better beard, I could have so many more costume options. But no, I'm stuck with a neck beard, and you can't even grow one for halloween without looking like a dumbass regardless. Not even a moustache either. God Dammit.
Heading to a Halloween/Birthday party here in a few minutes. Both the girl and I are going as sleep deprived people who, self medicate for stress, and didn't have time to put together a costume. Also know as parents to preschoolers.
You make me determined to become more intoxicated tonight just by reading that. I must enjoy my unmarried, child-free years.
Ok, your opinions. Is this creepy, or am I? On the T today, there were a bunch of girls in costumes. One was in a childs onesie, with pigtails and such. Only she had on a full heavy face of makeup. I kept thing, "she is A Sex Crime, The Day Before." I couldn't look at her without feeling skeevy. Which one of us is the weirdo?
I'd vote her. And I just want to throw out that slutty costumes are great until you start working at a high school.
So today I learned that despite spending 8 figures on their wedding, Kim Kardashian and what's his face actually profited from the wedding. So anytime you lowly folk are tempted to decry how disgusting it is to spend that much money on a wedding as you watch it for the third time, just remember: they didn't spend that much on their wedding, you spent that much on their wedding.
Subutai was the shit. The battle of Sajo River was just a textbook asswhooping. Basic outline of the battle: -Subutai retreats for several days, moving back across the Sajo river, hoping to draw the Royal Hungarian army across the river and then rebound, pinning them against the water. -The Hungarians decline to cross the river at the bridge, choosing instead of set up camp on the near side. -The morning of the battle, Subutai attacks the bridge with ranged weapons, drawing Hungarian defenses to the bridge -OSHIT IT WAS A TRAP. In the middle of the night Subutai had moved a force across the river downstream, and this force completely flanks the Hungarians. -He intentionally leaves a gap in the lines through which he lets a small number of Hungarians flee through. When others see this successful escape, they follow en masse, at which point Subutai closes the scissor and destroys them. -He then chases down those who successfully fled. -Hungarian army is totally annihilated.