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Top 10 Sex Myths

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nitwit, Mar 12, 2010.

  1. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Myth (AKA the fakest lie of all):
    "I've never done this before!" (tee-hee)

    Truth:
    Her showing you expertly and exactly how it's done without remorse, hesitation or even breaking stride.
     
  2. NeonWraith

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  3. scotchcrotch

    scotchcrotch
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    Myth: Women like it in the ass.

    Fact: Women love it in the ass.

    Unless you're abnormally small, then you may need a toy or two
     

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  4. ssycko

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    Really? After all the Sperm Wars stuff, people are still concerned about what the whole point of the female orgasm is? Yeesh.
     
  5. LessTalk MoreStab

    LessTalk MoreStab
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    I have one of those primers as well, helps take the edge off.
     

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  6. Sam N

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    Can't remember where I read it or I'd link it, but my general understanding is that you're correct, there is absolutely no sperm in pre-cum. However, this doesn't always apply to secondsies.

    As in, your banging a girl, pull out, cum all over her tits/face/ass. You send her to wash up and lay back pleased with your work. After she's clean, she snuggles up next to you and...What's that? Are you getting hard again? Yes, yes you are. So now it's time for secondsies.

    In this situation, there is a distinct possibility of pre-cum containing a slight amount of sperm, due to the left over sperm residue in your peehole. Thus, pregnancy is a very unlikely, though possible, result.

    Solution? Go pee between rounds. Even if you can just squeeze out a tinkle, that should be enough to wash away any leftover ninja sperm.

    Benefit? Don't have to wear those pesky condoms you always hear people droning on about.
     
  7. ghettoastronaut

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    Now I don't know about that, but peeing after sex, especially for females, will prevent UTIs.

    The more you know.
     
  8. Sam N

    Sam N
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    Well if the sperm didn't get washed away by peeing, where the fuck would it go? Do you picture it digging its claws into the side of the urethra and holding on as the pee rushes over it, and then crawling back down to join his other sperm buddies in the balls? Obviously that isn't the case.

    It's essentially the same principal. Pee washing away all the bad stuff (bacteria/sperm). Urine: the great cleanser.
     
  9. ghettoastronaut

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    Now I don't want to be too much of a buzz kill, but you'll notice that the statements about about pre-ejaculate containing no sperm, and that urinating after sex reduces UTIs, both carry evidence in their favour. They aren't inferred from anything, they have direct supporting data. Your speculation about secondses and even a drop of urine flowing through the urethra washing away every last spermatozoa doesn't come with evidence. So when I say "I don't know", it means precisely that. I really have no clue if secondsies pre-ejaculate contains sperm, and I have no idea if urinating in between will affect that. I could spend a lot of time postulating about that, and its ramifications, but that would be boring as fuck.

    Oh, also, refer to my statement re: covering my ass. I will not be responsible for anyone accidentally procreating, especially people from this board. It's my duty to humanity.
     
  10. Allord

    Allord
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    Disturbed

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    Myth: A biology lecture qualifies as foreplay.

    Reality: Only if it's about dinosaurs. Nothing gets a woman wetter than an impression of an allosaurus. It doesn't even matter if you've got a booming roar, as long as you grimace a lot and wave your arms violently through the air.

    Protip: a good way to practice your allosaurus impression is by accidentally inhaling a shot of 50% vodka 50% lemon juice. I call it a "facemaker".

    Edit: I must be getting tired, I missed the obvious one:

    Myth: Explaining why virgins are just like everyone else and everyone should stop judging them for being so old OHMYGOSH will totally not cause any suspicions about your own level of sexual experience.

    Reality: Guess again.
     
  11. Allord

    Allord
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    I can see a commercial in the works involving Mr. Clean urinating into a dishwasher with fat housewives and small children cheering him on as the jingle plays and then cuts to a closeup of a sudsy hand slamming down a gushing yellow bottle onto a counter with the sound of a toilet flushing as it fades to black.

    [​IMG]

    WE'LL MAKE MILLIONS
     
  12. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Allosauruses are my favourite dinosaur as a kid and they DO rock the shit (make sure to get the "stomp" down pat before attempting), but a better face-making shot in my own opinion would be the Russian Vomit Banger. Half vodka, half pickle brine. Pull down eyelids and pour into eyes, nostril and mouth*. Bitches come.

    *- this idiot Death shot has a tendency to make people actually shit themselves, so tread carefully.