Ahhh yes, facebook, this is what I needed to see and mentally picture today. Spoiler Be sure to add Deuci to the terrible baby names list. And to go full country, that girl once did a 4-H demonstration on hamsters that included a bit on their reproductive activity. It was the first time I heard the word scrotum.
I have got to stop staying up until 5 am getting drunk and fooling around on the Internet. I feel like shit today.
"And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you." Also, Deuci sounds like what Ryan Lochte would name his kid.
e-bay can be a wonderful thing. Just picked up a 6 disc changer that is completely plug and play for my car for $20 + shipping. It's kind of new and different buying stuff from e-bay sober, I may have to get drunk so I have some surprise packages arrive too...It's like Christmas morning everyday.
A CD changer? Awesome! Now go down to the Record Bar and score yourself some tapes. Hopefully the changer won't interfere with your car phone's external antenna.
That No Fear shit hit when I was in 6th grade. It was queer then. Even as a greasy outcast I thought it was stupid to walk around with a trite motivational poster on my back. Now the 'necks are putting "Salt Life" on their rear windows. I assume it has something to do with the ocean or hot dogs. I really want the logo to advertise the owner's predilection of a savage, rapacious hunger for hotdogs and other salted foods. But it probably means they like to get drunk and alternate between fishing and domestic abuse. I've also decided making up random fake facts about actors and politicians is hilarious. For instance, I let my friend in on the "fact" Paul Ryan had two kills in Desert Storm by throwing a grenade at two insurgents cleverly disguised as children drawing water from a well.
...I had No Fear on my car in the mid-90s. Yes, it sucked. I've seen tons of Salt Life stuff in the last 6 months or so. Inland, in GA. The nearest ocean is 3 hours away, and it snows once every 3 years. Salt here goes on food, so maybe your hot dog assessment is accurate.
Maybe they mean "Assault Life"? As in the life one leads in assaulting others with your bad taste, horrible teeth, penchant for meth and Mountain Dew and inexplicable fascination with Nascar?
Am I then to believe that the "Just Do It" license plate frames I ordered are also out of date? I just can't keep up with you young folks are your crazy fads and sayings.
Now I will say that I love Mountain Dew and Nascar, but I can explain. I drink one Mountain Dew every 3 months, when I cheat from my water regimen, and I love it. Nascar? well, I love cars and I love horsepower. My wife is a dental hygienist. My teeth be clean, yo!
So maybe the name isn't Deuci? And they are just messing with people? After this I really hope so. Spoiler
Earlier this week I mentioned that the neighbors had a rotting corpse in their garbage can and how I politely hauled their can half way down the block so we didn't have to smell it. Well this evening, I was quietly sitting out in the garage playing with my car and I heard a commotion outside. I stepped out of the garage and the were depositing a refrigerator at the curb. "Huh?" I thought to myself and went back into the garage. About 2 minutes later the smell hit me. I would swear this was Jeffrey Dahlmer's fridge sitting out there...it's that fucking bad. The worst part is that yesterday was garbage pick up and if they think I'm going to take a week of that smell cooking in the Vegas sun, they're out of their fucking minds. I'm not sure exactly what I'm going to do yet, but I will come up with something. Like maybe harassing the shit out of their landlord, turning them in to the EPA, or just calling state welfare (Welfare is paying for them to live in a $200K house) and tell them they need to do an inspection of the living conditions because these people keep putting dead things out to the curb on a regular basis. I really miss living in the country. I know how to handle shit like this back home, you have to be a bit more civilized in the big city. Any ideas?