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Wait, What? 8/3/2012-8/5/2012 Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Aug 3, 2012.

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  1. Parker

    Parker
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    Emotionally Jaded

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    Okay, I need to find a way to indoctrinate my FWB into liking football. She's a journalist, likes documentaries, so I started with Hard Knocks. I feel like if she starts to like the players as people, she'll care about what they do. Then I introduced Tom Brady, because he's attractive, and who doesn't like Tom Brady besides haters and assholes? She didn't buy into him too much.

    I have the idea of just sitting down with her during a game I don't care too much about and breaking down the rules, general play formations and what not. But I think she'll eventually get bored and use sex to distract me.

    Anyone have any success getting a girl into sports who was slightly against it before?
     
  2. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    Yeah, but that can only happen every 3-4 days with all the tearing and healing, right?
     
  3. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
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    The land and stuff on it has come up for sale.... it looks like the main bidder want to tear shit down and build a retail park.

    The funding goal has been exceeded.
    according to the Indiegogo page
     
  4. Parker

    Parker
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    Its been about 5 days. Not like I'm counting or anything. Plus that's the usual cycle with football. When you include Thursday night games.
     
  5. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Does anybody in here know how to curse somebody with colon cancer?

    Honestly what the fuck will somebody NOT do for money in this day and age? I know EXACTLY what: nothing. Once you want to tear down the lab of one of the greatest Americans who ever lived, society has officially bottomed out.
     
  6. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    THAT was the straw that broke the camel's back? Not Honey Boo Boo?

    Although, Canada has no right to bitch. Fucking Avril and Nickel-douche. Jesus.
     
  7. ssycko

    ssycko
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    No, see I was posting as Karen seductively waving to let you know that I'm ready for the slumber party. And also for wearing mouse ears.
     
  8. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Forget not we gave Satan-birth to Celine Dion and those fucking "Heritage" commericals.
     
  9. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
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    The Big Four-Oh

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    Say what you want about her annoying voice and that stupid Titanic song - that chick looks pretty good for a 44-year-old mother of 3.
    [​IMG]
     
  10. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    I met the black version of Thurman Merman from Bad Santa on Tuesday. Fat, curly hair, snotty nose, probably brain damaged. He was at least 10, playing with Pokemon toys in a retail store. Explosion noises, miming their voices, in public. Oh, during school hours too. I was throwing some glass product up on the shelf and dropped it, breaking it. 20 minutes after the crash this thing waddles up to me and just... *stares*.

    First thing I notice is he doesn't blink. "Did something break?"

    The second thing I noticed is he could barely speak. It PAINED him to conjure words judging from the look on his face. That, or he had bad gas.

    "Yep. No big deal. Help you with something?"

    He breathes heavily, not saying a word. One beat, two beats... three... ten. He seriously just stared at me wheezing.

    "Uhh... hey? You looking for something?"

    "Nuh uh. Did you get hurt?"

    What the fuck? "Uhm. No."

    "Oh." He keeps staring.

    That's when I left him because he was creeping the piss out of me. Did he want to see someone bleed? Or was he enthralled by the idea of something crashing and breaking once his brain processed the sounds?

    I know Gen Y ate a box of retard for breakfast, but the generation behind them, let's call them Generation ZZZZZ, is fucking TERRIFYING.

    (Edit: Of course I deleted the part of this post that makes sense. I bring up this anecdote because we can't get sufficient public funds for Tesla's f'n lab, but two retards marrying is news. Super news. It's all going down, man.)
     
  11. JWags

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    She's your FWB, stop trying to wife her up, gosh.

    Oh, also, this...


    Despite the fact that I met you, I think you're actually an old white freak.
     
    #991 JWags, Aug 23, 2012
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  12. JWags

    JWags
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    Is that really her? Recently? What.... There were times in the late 90s/early 2000s where she confused my penis as well.

    Its probably because she's married to a fat French Canadien Rob Reiner look alike and can't allow herself to turn into a disgusting bloated thing like him.
     
  13. subgeniuschick

    subgeniuschick
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    Experienced Idiot

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    I used the "I'm still sore - you're too big" thing on my ex for years man, YEARS.

    Frankly I hope they both live happily ever after, and keep each other so enthralled that neither one of them ever sings again. Fuck Celine Dion. I have one word - Photoshop (or is that two?). Let's see ... we also let J. Beeblebrox loose on the world. But, we also have Ryan Gosling and Donald Sutherland. Plus we have Captain fucking Kirk AND Scotty.
     
  14. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Watching Honda co-op 'You've Got Another Thing Coming" by one of the greatest bands ever, makes me die a little bit inside every time I see it.
     
  15. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    At least Rob Zombie sued Nissan when they used "Demonoid Phenomenon" in their commercials, so they went with STP's "Wicked Garden" immedietly afterwards. I met Zombie backstage at his show and asked him about it, he replied "Look, if you know anybody who works for Nissan you can tell them they can go fuck themselves." Didn't really answer my question, but it's a nice story.

    If you're a little older like yours truly, you will remember hearing Segar's "Like a Rock" oh, once or maybe twice in Chevy commercials...

    Or maybe a motherfucking BILLION times. A day.
     
  16. Trakiel

    Trakiel
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    Call me Caitlyn. Got any cake?

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    Wow, you just made me remember that and now it's going to be in my head for the rest of the night. Thanks a lot, asshole.
     
  17. The Village Idiot

    The Village Idiot
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    Porn Worthy, Bitches

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    Yeah, me too. But the Bob Seger song was an American artist and an American car.

    Jaguar? Sure, use Judas. Honda? Not so much.
     
  18. toddamus

    toddamus
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    So full of hatred towards those who aren't like you.... I bet you'd be happier if they were wearing corduroys and sailing shoes.

    I kid, but seriously, wiggers suck.
     
  19. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
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    Just call me Topher

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    Wigga hate? That shit ain't SAFE, dog. I have no idea whatchu talkin'. You wish you could get mad sleeve like these playas:

    [​IMG]

    ... for those who didn't know, their names are Da Flame, Freeze, and Blade. Which would be great names if you were henchmen in an action movie produced in 1983.

    Wiggers all deserve death, but there are worse demographics out there ahem ahem....
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]
    [​IMG]

    Obviously the word "Fresca" is not in your vocabulary. I would rather drink your piss than that swill of liquified turkey vulture. You could make it fucking rain.
     
  20. dixiebandit69

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    So without further ado, here's some good looking gals:

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG]
     
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