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Wait, What? 8/3/2012-8/5/2012 Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Aug 3, 2012.

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  1. Parker

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    HEY that wasn't an offer Nom! Stop booking your plane ticket!
     
  2. mya

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    Are we seriously acting as if causing vaginal abrasions is a good thing? Hate to break it to you, but that is due to good old fashioned friction. Invest in some KY, nobody wants wounds down there.


    Edited to add... Or the herpes, forgot it could be the herpes
     
  3. FreeCorps

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    [​IMG]
     
  4. Parker

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    KY has been invested in, but apparently she's just small, it happens. KY lessens the damage. No, not a good thing at all, can't have back to back sex sessions due to said abrasions. Abrasions are bad mmmk?
     
  5. Kubla Kahn

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    Did I just shit myself?

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    So now we're bragging about fuck buddies with small vaginas?
     
  6. hooker

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    What's all the fuss about Parker banging the hell out of this girl?
     
  7. Gator

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    I believe the medical term is "knocked the bottom out".

    And lemme get this straight, he can make her cum but not wet enough to prevent friction burn? Thats like having a spinal injury that prevents you from walking, but you can run like an Olympic Sprinter.
     
  8. hooker

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    Maybe she's fragile.

    Like me.
     
  9. Nom Chompsky

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    You do strike me as a delicate flower.
     
  10. Parker

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    It's really not that big of a deal. 4 months ago I started a FWB sitch with this girl that A) Wasn't a whore, has a low dick count B) Only fucked lame white dudes that looked like Bon Iver and had small dicks. So once she started hooking up with me (Cross a Young Will Smith with Denzel Washington circa Training Day) I've been doing things they never did. Like get her to orgasm from oral, hitting her g spot in positions she's never before, which led to me being the record holder for longest orgasm she's ever had. And everyone thinks she's lying to me, because they have been either liars or have been lied to.

    And I just learned that she can't do sex marathons due to soreness and tearing regardless of the lubricant application. She's 5 feet tall and probably 115, and has an equally small vagina. Double edged swords...

    And now Nom is going to try and fuck my FWB. Now you're all caught up.
     
  11. JWags

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    One final comment about Lance, I dont think anything is helped by what a ginormous asshole that dude is. Seriously, every insider from sports who gets asked about their least favorite or douchiest athletes mentions that guy. And while Livestrong has done good things, people have long talked about it being more a vehicle to monetize Armstrong's story than to actually cure cancer. I think the government is just pissy that they paid millions of dollars to a guy that was cheating just like everyone else.
     
  12. Nom Chompsky

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    [​IMG]

    No offense...wait, some offense? Fuck it, AS MUCH OFFENSE AS POSSIBLE, but this could very well be a shortcoming of yours. Just like having a small dick requires some workarounds, having a big dick requires some foresight and thought. If she's that tight, maybe don't rail the hell out of her for so long that she starts tearing -- switch speeds, positions, and work up to it.

    I'm not saying she doesn't enjoy what you're doing, but if you really want to be able to have sex a lot, then you're going to have to step your fucking game up. Work it out bro, you're not the first person to have sex with a tight girl, and PLENTY of them have managed to do it more than once a week.

    That's the part we're making fun of you for, to be honest. Not that you made a girl cum -- that you somehow managed to knock her out of commission for nearly an entire workweek is either a.) a lie, b.)incredibly rare, or c.)actually somewhat a failure on your part.

    smoooooove out.
     
  13. Gator

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    Well what do you expect from a 13 year old?
     
  14. Parker

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    Nom, you're totally right. Its not an entire week, I think she said 2-3 days. And I agree with all of the things about it being my fault except the fact she knows it is all the stuff does when she's on top. She isn't an up and down, she's a back and forth grinder. We do other positions, but that's the one she always goes fucking nuts in and she gets on top, I just do the little things to keep her there, but she's doing all the moving (and most of the tearing) on her own. I can't do shit about that, well I can, but I'm not getting a dick reduction.

    Fucking Gator, you always kill me with your little sly comments. One day I'll have a comeback.
     
  15. hooker

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    Wait! I thought black men didn't eat pussy!
     
  16. Gator

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    When he says "getting her to orgasm from oral" he means from her giving it to him. Sometimes she comes from him just texting her!

    Which brings up an interesting point...if a vagina is designed to stretch to allow for childbirth, how come she doesnt end up looking like the Joker after going down on him?

    Cut me Mick....cut me.
     
  17. Frebis

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    I always thought women didnt want them to, because their dreadlocks can leave rope burn.
     
  18. hooker

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    You guys are the meanest fuckers on the internet.
     
  19. mya

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    No, haven't you heard? We've lost our edge and it is a good thing we weren't around "back in the day"
     
  20. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: Wait, What? 8/3/2012-8/5/2012 Weekend Drunk Thread


    The only black guy I know won't eat pussy but has no issues with eating a chick's asshole all night, makes no sense to me, I'll have to ask him about the rope burn theory.
     
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