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Wait, What? 8/3/2012-8/5/2012 Weekend Drunk Thread

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Aug 3, 2012.

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  1. TX.

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    The Mad Pooper

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    Darn. Reading this thread makes me think that maybe that's what's been missing in my sex life: vaginal tearing. From now on I will only have sex with guys who skip foreplay and dive right in.

    You know what else tears the lining? Taking a tampon out when your period is really light. Maybe fucking Parker is akin to fucking a tampon?
     
    #1041 TX., Aug 24, 2012
  2. Noland

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    So you made a sexually inexperienced girl have an orgasm?
     
    #1042 Noland, Aug 24, 2012
  3. Gator

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    Arent tampons thin and white? And have a real job?

    Do you ever tell your tampon that it was the best tampon youve ever had and no other tampon has done the job up til now?

    Then does the tampon go and brag to all the other tampons about how it rocked your world and ruined you for all other tampons for ever more?
     
    #1043 Gator, Aug 24, 2012
  4. Veovis

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    I think I have to second this, as entertaining as this all has been, poor Parker has gone from a vaginal tearing cock bat of destruction to apparently a wadded up pile of bloody cotten.

    Holy shit when you guys run with something it's downhill and with scissors.

    Sure made friday morning more interesting though
     
    #1044 Veovis, Aug 24, 2012
  5. hooker

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    Anyone ever used or heard of the Sleep Talk Recorder app?

    I just listened to the creepiest recording of myself I've ever heard - and I've had some pretty fucking creepy ones. I need to figure out how to post it.

    Where can I upload/host a .wav file for free?
     
    #1045 hooker, Aug 24, 2012
  6. kuhjäger

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    Wireless printers are awesome.

    I bought one today, and set it up in the office, and when Jägerette was in there, I took a picture of my balls on my iPod and printed them out.

    "What are you printing out? Oh, fuck you!"
     
    #1046 kuhjäger, Aug 24, 2012
  7. lust4life

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    I heard Parker tried to do that, but the printer couldn't handle legal-size paper.
     
    #1047 lust4life, Aug 24, 2012
  8. Flat_Rate

    Flat_Rate
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    Re: Re: Wait, What? 8/3/2012-8/5/2012 Weekend Drunk Thread


    Who really gives a shit? I mean really honestly cares? Nobody except the French, and we all know they are a bunch of assholes.

    In the last 15 years only one tour winner hasn't dropped hot piss.
     
    #1048 Flat_Rate, Aug 24, 2012
  9. hooker

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    I thought men who brag about how awesome they are in bed are always totally awesome in bed.
     
    #1049 hooker, Aug 24, 2012
  10. Parker

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    Whoa, whoa, whoa. I don't have dreadlocks, I also love to eat vagina. Foreplay is something I like to do, which is what I think contributes to my success with this one. I read somewhere some stat like "80% of women who receive 20 minutes of foreplay have orgasms and vice versa." So I do stuff for at least 20 minutes before going in.

    TX, that was nice and catty, have you gotten your pussy eaten recently? You're hot, make it happen. But no, my penis does not get bigger in water.

    I said not a whore, not she was a nun or sexually inexperienced. Huge difference. I haven't asked her, because like Chris Rock said, "No matter what she says, its too many for you."

    This is actually some funny shit.

    Also, I'm not saying I'm a God with every girl I've slept with! (Only like 90%, but still) just this one has been really enjoyings my efforts. Its just great to find someone you're sexually compatible with.

    Between this and 'Sack's R&R posting, you'd swear he came in 2nd place to Lance every single round and had a lifelong crush on what'sherfacehemarried.

    lust4life, hey I have no idea how my balls compare to other balls. I haven't measured their circumference. No girl has said my balls are really big, so I have no idea...

    Also where the fuck is KIMaster? I need someone to take the attention away from my obnoxious bragging right about now.
     
    #1050 Parker, Aug 24, 2012
  11. hooker

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    So... basically. Parker reads Cosmopolitan.
     
    #1051 hooker, Aug 24, 2012
  12. lust4life

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    Yes, but only for the articles.
     
    #1052 lust4life, Aug 24, 2012
  13. hooker

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    #1053 hooker, Aug 24, 2012
  14. CharlesJohnson

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    Too much vaginal tearing talk. The only way I'm hitting both walls is with Mel Gibson as my driver. OH!

    I don't want to say white guys have small dicks, they're just more like birds... only a swallow. *RIMSHOT*

    Last time I saw a penis that big it was endorsed by Nike Air. Just do it.

    Parker had to take out insurance and get a lawyer, because when a white woman is taken to the hospital for two dislocated hips it's wise to just be safe.

    I'm here all week. Try the veal. Tip your server.

    Parker, you need to show your girl this video so she can work on training to accommodate you:

    <a class="postlink" href="http://efukt.com/21005_How_Is_This_Even_Possible?.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://efukt.com/21005_How_Is_This_Even_Possible?.html</a> NWS

    "I think we can do better."
     
    #1054 CharlesJohnson, Aug 24, 2012
  15. hooker

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    Oh man. This is kind of sad.

     
    #1055 hooker, Aug 24, 2012
  16. Nom Chompsky

    Nom Chompsky
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    Honorary TiBette

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    I actually used to have this issue with women.

    Now I just make sure to eat pussy in a thick bed of poison ivy, so they really have no idea what's what. This is also a good cover if you happen to have herpes.
     
    #1056 Nom Chompsky, Aug 24, 2012
  17. hooker

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    What was the name of the thread where all you all posted pictures of yourselves?
     
    #1057 hooker, Aug 24, 2012
  18. iczorro

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    Re: Re: Wait, What? 8/3/2012-8/5/2012 Weekend Drunk Thread

    Fuck Lance? No, fuck the Olsen twin that's moving in with the ex-president's brother... Well, look...

     
    #1058 iczorro, Aug 24, 2012
  19. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: Re: Wait, What? 8/3/2012-8/5/2012 Weekend Drunk Thread

    EDIT: double post
     
    #1059 Flat_Rate, Aug 24, 2012
  20. Flat_Rate

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    Re: Re: Re: Wait, What? 8/3/2012-8/5/2012 Weekend Drunk Thread

    Fair enough, I do think he is a douchebag on the same level as Bonds, although I'll bet money that people go back to liking Lance a lot faster than most other dopers, the reason being he didn't fuck with baseball's numbers..... He just peddled a bike fast..

    Sent from my SPH-L710 using Tapatalk 2
     
    #1060 Flat_Rate, Aug 24, 2012
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