My boss just punched me in the arm hard enough to leave a bruise. She's strong. But at least she didn't show me her (or anyone else's) genitals.
Now he just tells me how he leaves marks on his (new) girlfriend's breasts before her mammogram appointment. And I had a girl show me her boob at work the other day. I work in a pharmacy. I used to teach water aerobics. They were so rude and ignorant I used to incorporate some P90X moves into my routine just to watch them look at each other and say, "What'd she say? What are we doing?" and watch them flounder around. I should have video-taped that. They deserved it. Except for the one dude in the class. He was nice.
So the guy that told me I had "extraordinary eye color" yesterday was after something else? Nah. Can't be true.
Marks? Like, with a Sharpie? "Squash here." "Property of Bob." I think I'm gettting my prescriptions filled at the wrong place. "You should eat food before taking this. Don't operate heavy machinery. And, here's some titty."
When I was 20, I worked at Disney World and some of the craziest people I ever met also worked there. One time, a girl who worked at my attraction got a new tattoo and she wanted to show me. So we went to the back lot on our break and she showed me her vagina. Above her vagina sat a new tattoo. But she pretty much pulled her pants all the way down. It was, appropriately enough, a small flower.
Like I asked for details. I'm assuming he meant bite or hickey. I don't know. And there's a reason people come from all over to shop at our pharmacy. That's all I'll say about that.
I got a letter from Dixie today. He got busted with a BAC of above.01 while on probation, so he's in jail for 4 years. Well, it should be just over a year in reality, but....
And I was only kidding when I wrote that. But I honestly couldn't think of any other explanation for his diappearance. He probably doesn't think its his fault either. Fuckin' cops man!!
I wouldn't say we're pen pals, but he was asking for addresses of people to write to on facebook, and I felt bad for the guy. Hell, I even get where he's at on this one. I got a DUI in 2008, and got 5 years probation. Anything at all in my bloodstream would be a violation and count as a second DUI. I got pulled over for speeding last year, hungover from the day before, blew a .01. Had to get a lawyer to get me off.
There are easier ways to get to a family reunion. Either way I will send him a care package of soap on a rope and a pound me in the ass cake. Err, pound cake. With a file baked into the middle. I hope he befriends a wise, old black man. I hope The Sisters leave him be and he puts up the good fight. But prison is no fairy tale. After 4 years he is going to hate bush.