Steak ang eggs however is the food of the Gods. Not just any gods, the kind that would throw Blanka-knees into your face just for not worshipping hard enough.
Corn is fucking disgusting any way you want to have it. The smell is fucking putrid and it's very high up on the list of least desirable items of food to consume. I'm a Ranga so I had no soul long before I decided corn was fucking atrocious.
Went the the state fair today. I've never seen so many good ole boys wearing overalls, overweight families and people using motorized scooters that probably do not have a medical reason for doing so. Food favorites of my group included: Fletcher's corny dogs (always), fried brownies, and fried Thanksgiving balls. Ironically, the smallest girls are the ones that loved the brownies and balls.
I don't want to make a bunch of separate posts, so I'm just going to throw this all together and let the chips fall where they may. 1. I don't know how your McDonald's construct the breakfast burritos, but I've order from two different places and both times they were the size of the little Taquito things rolling around on those hotdog heaters in 7-11. 2. People complaining about taxes that live in middle America make me laugh. When they start charging you a 5 cent deposit on bottled water, get back to me. 3. I've only visited Minnesota in the winter time, but I didn't think there was a huge ratio of hot/not hot girls. Perhaps it's a summer time thing? I know Michigan gets a HUGE boost in population during the summer time from people thinking swimming in Lake Michigan is some kind of great adventure? Try even the shittiest Atlantic Ocean beach and you'll laugh at how you once thought your cute little pond was worthy of a vacationing spot. 4. Houston is a weird little town in Texas. I liked Dallas, Fort Worth, Austin, and San Antonio. Houston, I couldn't stand for more than a day or two. 5. The hand soap at my work shoots out in a very similar fashion. I always laugh when I put my hands under the dispenser and it shoots all over the walls. I'm like a fucking 6 year old kid laughing to myself in the bathroom. 6. Standing and wiping? Like fully standing and leaning your one hand against the wall and wiping with the other? Do you bend at the waist? What's going on here? Does anyone take a shower almost every time they poop? I feel like if I don't plan my poop schedule out according to a shower schedule, I'm unclean regardless of how well I wipe. 7. Anything over 85 mph or double the speed limit is an automatic reckless driving charge on top of the speeding ticket in CT. I think speeding tickets start at $180 and go up from there. 8. Chicken and waffles...yummy. I don't see how it's that unusual. It's basically a biscuit that shaped like a waffle. The syrup is just like dunking chicken nuggets in honey. 9. I met a girl off OKCupid who was an artist. She was a bit out there. One of her artistic dreams was to get a gallery show where she would feature paintings done with random men's dried and dyed semen. She thought it was a fantastic idea to request a bunch of men from around the world to jerk off and send her their semen which she would then mix with food coloring and paint pictures with. Yes we had sex once. No she did not get to keep my seed.
The only people who say this have never had them. We're not talking about Eggos, Mrs. Butterworths and KFC here, that sounds gross. We're talking quality southern style fried chicken and thick, perfect, crispy on the outside, just the right amount of doughy on the inside belgian waffles, and real maple syrup. It's a fucking game changer.
I never ate real waffles until I lived with my wife. Then I made them in a $4 waffle iron we bought and MY GOD it's like the blind given sight for the first time. I really had no idea my dad was so good at making egg breakfasts I barely ate waffles. How I missed out indeed.
Chicken and waffles is normal. If we're going to talk about weird southern food, try deep fried pickles. I ordered them once out of curiosity. They're about as disgusting as you would imagine. There's plenty of hot girls in Minnesota. Hell, there's hot girls pretty much everywhere, but I have to admit the girls is Florida blow them out of the water. No contest. In my experience the further south you go the sexier, but I haven't lived enough places to say that definitively.
Did you dip them in ranch dressing? "Pickles and peppers" (fried pickle and jalapeno pepper slices) are a VERY common appetizer/side here in the San Antonio/Hill Country region. Aside from chicken fried steak, it's what I consider to be the staple dish in this area. I compare pickles and peppers to snowboarding: hard to learn, but once you do, it's easy to master. Pickles and peppers taste very strange at first, but after you try them a few times, your taste buds completely change from "this is repulsive" to "this is what god intended when he invented fried food."
Look, I love pickles, regular pickles, but there is nothing I'm going to dip that shit in or mix it with that would make it good. Anyways, this thread needs more lady butts. Edit: I have no idea why the last one is showing up twice.
You know what really grinds my knob? People who mutter bullshit while you're standing next to them in the checkout line. I know you are a fucking moron and haven't grasped how to use the self-checkout. I don't need you to try and bring me into your miserable world of, "Please remove the last item from the belt and rescan. Credit $12.99" I also don't really care that you've been standing in line for 2 minutes waiting for the person in front of you to finish checking out when there is only two registers open. I'm sure your box of brownie mix, cucumber, and ice tea is mission fucking critical that you can't wait a fucking second for people to get through the line. No, it's not unbelievable. There's a thing called labor cost. No I don't think it's a fucking joke. It's called a line asshole, we all have to wait like good little boys and girls. I completely agree, ringing someone out isn't rocket science, but you can only go so fast. It's not like that Dane Cook movie you've jacked off to 30 times because you get to see Jessica Simpson in tight pants. I am getting more and more disgusted on a daily basis at how many people complain about the most menial shit ever. In the grand scheme of things, it's really not that big of a deal.
I tried deep fried pickles with ranch dressing in 2011. The very day I met the boyfriend's parents. I'm glad his mother delighted in my exclamation of "Holy hell, these are amazing. I love living in an area where deep fried everything is normal!" I swear, at the fair last year, I saw a sign for Deep Fried Kool Aid. I asked the woman how you deep fry Kool Aid. Apparently you sprinkle the granules in the batter and just eat slightly sweetened fried batter. I was slightly disappointed they weren't attempting to fry a liquid. I'd love to see that. Oh, south. Never change.
That garbage is at our fair too. Makes perfect sense. Wolf down that dark matter and then go ride the Whirl 'n' Puke.
The girls in Florida get hotter the farther south you go because you get more Cubans. Game fucking over. Aside from Indian(dot) women, Cuban girls are a fetish. Deep fried pickles are better when they are sliced thin and then fried and then dipped in ranch. Next to the pickles should be a basket of gator tail. This is served with a remoulade type sauce. After that should be about 7 lbs of crawfish per person.
Deep fried kool-aid is the biggest disappointment since my first kiss. I think everyone expects a little kool aid liquid packet in the middle of a fried ball, but really its just sweetened fry batter. What a let down. Fried klondikes are legit. The biggest problem with the fried food, aside from the obvious health consequences, is the fact that after eating a few of these things you need a nap. I don't think the body can handle all that saturated fat and just shuts down.
Mmmm crawfish. The first time I got to eat crawfish was at a legit Cajun crawfish boil at a farmhouse. The girl hosting (my sis graduated with her from LSU) bought all 100+ lbs of live crawfish from her neighbor. And just a PSA, it ain't legit if there isn't a hand carved paddle doing the stirring. When we visit my sister in Louisiana I am taking el husband to a local Cajun food place, and we are gorging on dirty nasty crawfish. I don't think he's had them before.
The same can be said of alcohol consumption before going on one of those Spinning Teacups or whatever the fuck they're called. You'll soon be the Miraculous Fountain Of Rum & Coke, like I was that evening. That was probably the sickest I have been with booze, but, to my credit, I did not puke while in the teacup, only after. I must have puked at least 4 times that night after that godforsaken teacup, including once on the way home out of the car door. I was 19 at the time and we all do dumb shit at that age.