she could tie him up and beat him to death with a rawhide whip. flaying his flesh from his aching skeleton in tattered ribbons, then tying the stripped remains into serial killer origami. or she could be boring
Off to the world's largest Christmas store tomorrow. This place is for people who think Branson, Missouri isn't tacky enough.
This is the crap they showed us on TV when I was kid. Damn hippies . . . Although I think Crown might enjoy this after the harvest.
Her friends who she wants you to hook up with are usually the C team, they are her friends which are having trouble finding bf's. Her hope is that you're enough like her husband that you can give them a decent night out. You'd be surprised though, shes probably expecting you to hook up with her. So assuming shes not fugly, go for it. I almost promise you its more of a hook up thing than a date thing. Girls can find their own dates, many girls don't want to hook up with random dudes. Seeing as how she has given you some sort of creditability, her friends are willing to give you a chance and hopefully are willing to consider touching your fun parts. You might as well do it, because what the fuck else are you doing?
Alright, you've convinced me. Life's too short to waste time being a pussy, right? I just have to find out which one of her friends his wife was referring to, because when he relayed this revelation to me apparently she didn't tell him which friend she had in mind.
Well its likely not going to be her cool hot friend, so the odds are she'll be fat, awkward or both. My money is on awkward.
Fuck long weekends. This bar is full of college kids home for the break. A room of training bras, vodka crans and requests for One Direction. T-birds and popped collars as far as the eye can see. Christ. So much upward inflection.
Well I'll just have to demand that one - presuming she has a cool, hot friend. The only clue I have is my buddy asked me if I had any issues with going out with a woman of a different race, which based on my experience increases the odds that I'll be set up with someone I find attractive.
Because they have shitty parents who gave them no moral guidance past that age so they never learned to mature past puberty.
There is a reason they're on the C team. But in this day and age you can simply facebook her to see if she's a deuce and a half or not. Hooking up can be tricky if the girl setting you up really had that as an intention or not. If she didn't and you do and never call the girl again things can get weird. If she just wants her friend to hook up then you just have to ask yourself, do you want to hook up with this potentially humongous girl? Alcohol and length of dry spell then come into play.
Goddammit don't say shit like this. You don't even want to know the length of my dry spell; I think the rules would state I've have no choice but to go down the rabbit hole, no matter how much danger of being smothered and/or crushed I was in. Honestly though I'm not too worried about hooking-up; it's been so long since I've been on a date that I'm sure I'll fuck it up regardless of how blatantly any pussy was thrown at me. That and the fact that, again, I've met my friend's wife once, so I'm really not to worried about her stake in all of this.
In my drunken stupor I guess I ruined the boobie thread a few weeks ago. I'd just like everyone to know that while I was blacked out I thought it was hilarious. And I still kind of think it was funny. But in reality most people do not want to see a chubby mans titties and I understand that. Therefor, I am for the most part sorry for the said infraction and I would like to be again thought of as a normal, dysfunctional citizen of the TIB. Also, the Nine Inch Nails tour is amazing and I recommend it.
Remember, if she's from another race, you might get a really hot Indian. Or you could get a 300lb bowling ball shaped Mexican. You just never know.