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WDT - 7/24/15

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Juice, Jul 22, 2015.

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  1. dewercs

    dewercs
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    I have heard 2 legitimate fisting stories in the last 24 hours, one included a picture. I guess I need smaller hands.
     
    #81 dewercs, Jul 24, 2015
  2. effinshenanigans

    effinshenanigans
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    Sounds like you've got an "oops" coming your way.

    The usps "tracking" system is a total joke. They tell you it left its destination (sometimes) and then you won't hear/see anything until it's been delivered, at which point the tracking status is conveniently updated.
     
    #82 effinshenanigans, Jul 24, 2015
  3. wexton

    wexton
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    Everyone I knows uses USPS and loves it. Funny how the out of country service is better then the in country.
     
    #83 wexton, Jul 24, 2015
  4. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Mr. Toast

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    Friend of mine used to do Porsche upgrades out of his house, and twice when parts were shipped UPS that demanded photo-id and signature, neither was done, and they left the $3k+ in parts on his front step while he was at his "real" job. Needless to say he didn't get them. But he DID get the huge brokerage fee. He now owns a very successful shop (shameless plug here: http://turn3autosport.com) and refuses to do anything with UPS.

    DHL, FedEx, USPS, sure... but fuck UPS.

    (And yeah, his shop is doing nothing but growing, and he's kicking some serious ass)

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]
     
    #84 Nettdata, Jul 24, 2015
  5. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    Same happened to me with UPS. Signature required & heavily insured/ 6 packages. They just left them on the porch, busted to shit and didn't even bother to ring the doorbell.

    Fuck UPS.
     
    #85 toytoy88, Jul 24, 2015
  6. Noland

    Noland
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    This tumblr is worth a look.

    [​IMG]
     
    #86 Noland, Jul 24, 2015
  7. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Welp, that's enough internet for today.

    Wyoming man found with 30 eyeballs stuffed up his ass.

    'Police made a routine traffic stop early Thursday morning and got more than they bargained for when Roy Tilbott, 51, stepped out of his El Camino for a field sobriety test and Casper police noticed several eyeballs slide from his right pant leg onto the road.

    Tilbott assured police the eyeballs were not human, but instead cow eyeballs he had pilfered from Johnson Meats (a slaughterhouse) where Tilbott is employed as a butcher.

    “They’re a very wasteful company. We should be allowed to take scrap meat and other parts home. The company should start a green initiative. They don’t even have recycling at the plant.”

    Tilbott explained his actions: “I enjoy eating bovine eyeballs and smuggling them out in my colon was the only way I knew how to get them out without potentially getting caught and fired.”

    Tilbott told police he estimates he has smuggled several thousand eyeballs from the plant over the past few months.

    “I put them in soups,” Tilbott said in the police report. “They’re beneficial for erectile dysfunction, which I currently battle, but I also just like the texture and taste.”'
     
    #87 CharlesJohnson, Jul 24, 2015
  8. voltronman

    voltronman
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    As my wife just said...wait, he stuffs them up his butt and then he eats them?
     
    #88 voltronman, Jul 24, 2015
  9. Nettdata

    Nettdata
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    Me thinks the eating of eyeballs isn't the real fetish in all of this.
     
    #89 Nettdata, Jul 25, 2015
  10. toytoy88

    toytoy88
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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    The fucking desert. I hate the fucking desert.
    Nope. Obviously, it's the driving an El Camino.
     
    #90 toytoy88, Jul 25, 2015
  11. dixiebandit69

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    Okay, what is the deal with all the El Camino hate? Seriously.
    For the record, I don't own an El Camino, and won't ever (if I was ever going to own such a vehicle, I get a Ford Ranchero, a marque the was available BEFORE THE EL CAMINO).
    It's a versatile vehicle which is still on sale in Australia under the name of a "Ute." (Ford or Chevy/Holden).
    Unfortunately they don't sell them in the USA anymore.
    As much as I brag about my Trans Am, I loved my 2000 Regular Cab/Shortbed F150 that was lowered to the point were it wasn't much use off-road.

    EDIT: Which do y'all think looks better:
    The 1970 Ford Ranchero
    [​IMG]

    1970 El Camino:
    [​IMG]
     
    #91 dixiebandit69, Jul 25, 2015
    Last edited: Jul 25, 2015
  12. Clutch

    Clutch
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    Don't forget their retarded cousin, the Dodge Rampage.

    [​IMG]
     
    #92 Clutch, Jul 25, 2015
  13. TX.

    TX.
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    What the fuck? How did this not happen in Florida?

    I'm picturing this dude taking eyeballs covered in shit (because there's no way you could clean off every single particle of feces) and scooping them up with a spoon. How could he fit 30 all at once?
     
    #93 TX., Jul 25, 2015
  14. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    It'd be like a 30-ball chain of anal beads. Without the string to pull them out.

    Can you imagine if he forgot one up there by accident? Just try taking a shit and then looking down to see your shit staring back at you. Jesus.
     
    #94 Angel_1756, Jul 25, 2015
  15. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
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    Did I just shit myself?

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    Well if there was ONE way to kill my appetite to try bovine eyeballs.
     
    #95 Kubla Kahn, Jul 25, 2015
  16. JWags

    JWags
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    And time has made it look even stupider.
    [​IMG]
     
    #96 JWags, Jul 25, 2015
  17. Juice

    Juice
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    Moderately Gender Fluid

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    Do fleshlights make a good groomsman gift?
     
    #97 Juice, Jul 25, 2015
  18. JWags

    JWags
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    Welp, one of the pools at the Cosmopolitan in Vegas is on fire. Looks like Toy Toy finally snapped.

    [​IMG]
     
    #98 JWags, Jul 25, 2015
  19. JoeCanada

    JoeCanada
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    How the fuck do you light a pool on fire in the desert?
     
    #99 JoeCanada, Jul 25, 2015
  20. wexton

    wexton
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    Toytoy would find a way.
     
    #100 wexton, Jul 25, 2015
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