Yes, this is a thing now. Have a party where the icing inside the cake is either pink or blue and everyone sits around and waits for the cutting of the cake. Does this party involve a registry? Because I've been to those too. I'm fucking sick of funding my friends' lives. Offer to bring dessert. And then bring this: Spoiler My favourite part of this cake is the implied chocolate sprinkle asshole.
Marlon Brando used to throw abortion parties back in the day. EDIT: I just remembered a hilarious exchange that I had with my mom when I was about 5 or 6. She and my grandmother were getting ready to go to a "baby shower." Being a young boy disinterested with anything that didn't involve dinosaurs, Legos, explosions, or any combination of the three, I was ignorant of this type of social gathering. My mom explained it to me, I thought about it, and asked: "What if the baby is born dead? Wouldn't that all be a waste?" Cue a long, awkward silence. My mom looked at her mom, and told me that probably wasn't going to happen, then shooed me outside. Ah, to be young again...
Somewhere out on the interwebs there is a site devoted to pictures of folks still born babies or "Angels" as they refer to them. I did a quick google and couldn't find it, because I really don't give a fuck. Sadly "Dead babies pictures" probably won't be the most disturbing thing I type into google today. I'm sure I'm on a list somewhere.
Cabbage, bean and okra soup for lunch. A whole pot, all for me! Aren't I the luckiest gal in the whole wide world?
A what now? How do those work? I'm picturing a bunch of doctors and pregnant women playing a "spin the bottle" type game.
Actually I soak my own beans for a couple days before cooking them so they never give me gas, and I've never noticed issues with cabbage either. Together though? I might be one chemical reaction away from the gas-pocalypse.
From what I read, it was basically a cocktail party, and the women who had just aborted would bring the remains of their fetuses in a cup and introduce them as "_____________" (whoever). Kind of fucked up, even by my standards. I read this in an actual book; I'll look it up online right now. EDIT: Here's what I found on the spur of the moment: http://books.google.com/books?id=Uf...nepage&q=marlon brando abortion party&f=false
I just strapped on a guitar and serenaded my aunt The Rodeo Song while her son looked on in a strange combination of awe and horror. He looked at me and asked "You can do that? How come you're not rich?" Dude, I played in a shitty bar band in the 80's, of course I can do that. For those of you unfamiliar with The Rodeo Song: Spoiler Well it's forty below And I don't give a fuck Got a heater in my truck And I'm off to the rodeo It's an allamande left And allamande right C'mon you fuckin' dummy Get your right step right Get offstage you goddamn goof Y'know you piss me off You fucking jerk Get on my nerves Well here comes Johnny With his pecker in his hand He's a one-ball man And he's off to the rodeo It's an allamande left And allamande right C'mon you fuckin' dummy Get your right step right Get offstage you goddamn goof Y'know you piss me off You fucking jerk Get on my nerves At least I got that fucking song out of my head. If it weren't for the Alzheimer's my aunt would probably be traumatized, but as it is she loved my little impromptu performance.
Wine drunk. Going for Flaming Dr. Peppers in a few (Revengeofthenerds got me thinking how good those are; blame him). Expect wonderful things from me later. Not porn or an awesome story or anything, but tears and whining of why no one loves me. HIGH 5! *Can't even edit a post right. Fuck my balls.
Cooking some chicken thighs in beer for chicken tacos, drinking Pepsi Max and shitty rum. NSFW NSFW NSFW And one for Dixie NSFCMC
Sometimes I wonder if I read this board to eradicate any bit of faith in humanity I have left. The dumbest party I've ever been to was one of those traffic light parties. Not that encouraging hooking up is bad theme, but so many people showing up in yellow just made it lame. I refuse to believe that many attendants were in 'we're not sure if we're really dating' relationships. The idea was it was supposed to increase your desirability... or something.
Traffic light parties in college were amazing. The secret was to ignore the girls in yellow or green. A lot of girls wore red so their friends wouldn't think they were sluts and, as a result, they were passed over by all the single guys scrambling for the easy pickings. Two dozen drunk girls seeking validation and nobody giving it to them? Yes, please. From there it was just a matter of finding out which ones had boyfriends and which were single (so basically, it's like any other night out except you had zero competition).
Boy that "party" was some kind of boring. The highlight of the night was when a 3 year old fell into the fishing pond while I was helping them feed the fish. Little fucker rolled right in on top of a few dozen feeding catfish. About the only thing hurt was his pride when I grabbed him by his ankle and jerked him out of there. They did break out some beer. Someone had a 12 pack of Michelobe Ultra. That is some nasty shit. Next party... I will have a cooler full of beer and a few gallons of whiskey.