WDT 8/16/13. As always the entire WDT is NSFW. Wah.

Guys. Guys. Guys.

The guy who manages our whole team and all these other projects in the office that we've been exiled to has been out of work for pretty much the whole summer. We knew that he had had surgery, but we never got any more details than that. One day, he came in and he had a cast from his ankle to his knee, a knee brace, crutches, and black eyes and bruises all over his face. We asked him what the fuck happened (in a professional way, of course), and he refused to tell us anything.

We asked our supervisor what happened and she said that he tore the shit out of his ACL. Playing Ping Pong.

Now, OBVIOUSLY there has to be a more elaborate explanation for this, because how the hell are you supposed to fuck up your body that much playing Ping Pong? But it's such a weird explanation to be completely a lie that we're sure it has to actually involve Ping Pong somehow.

The most common guess is that he got into a drunken brawl over a Ping Pong game, but I'M convinced that there was a girl shooting ping pong balls out of her poon on the opposite side of the table that he was hitting with the paddle, but he hit one really hard and it ricocheted off of the wall behind her, hit him in the face, he reels back and trips over something and falls. Yes? Has to be.

Edit: And, to follow up on my last story. If it really needs to be said : I did not show her my pussy. I sat there uncomfortably in silence until she left a few stations later.

 

Don't name him Steve Smith, I hate that guy. But Sam, now that is a name

 

I have a friend who just named their kid Jaxon too. I don't mind Jackson, but why the x? Especially with the father being named Jason.

 

She's cute, alright? jeez sorry.

 

How about:

Seb
Cal
Bob
Bill
Max
Ralf

Short and strong names. Depending on your genealogy there may be some names specific to your backgrounds that would fit? I think these sure beat being a Talon or a Mason.

 

I'm not crazy about one syllable names since our last name only has one syllable.

So I will freely admit that I just creeped on my very first (think junior high) boyfriend's facebook page because I knew his son was named some variation of Jackson but I couldn't remember what crazy way they spelled it (Jaxon.) Anyway, upon some investigation I discovered that he and his son's mother have made a profile for said son, who is 2 years old. Is this a thing?

 

John Steinbeck thought the best names came from the Bible. I'm inclined to agree. Or grab a list of popular saint names. Can't go wrong there, just in case that whole atheism thing blows up in our faces you have at least a talking point. "See! See! I named him Sebastian after the saint, not that singing crab. We cool, right?"

My uncle was a Sam. I never knew what an inscrutable person was. Never before or since have I met someone truly inscrutable like that man. It's neither good or bad, but probably a nice way to say stubborn as a mule. If I do ever procreate, the kid will be named after my father and uncle. Far better men than myself.

I'm not too keen on breeding, but I am the last of my line. So I've given it thought.

Edit: FUCK EVERYTHING.

According to this article on Bear Grylls' badass fucking 200 foot power slide, he has a kid named MARMADUKE.

Baby namer: Expert level.

 

Goddamn I love Grantland so fucking much. This is going to take up my life for the weekend debating this and voting. What has been the best song since 2000? I know that's going to be impossible for most of this board to debate because no one seems to like anything before 1990.

<a class="postlink" href="http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/9589733/battle-best-song-millennium" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/958 ... millennium</a>

 

Maybe Sam the Sheepdog caught him trying to steal sheep.

 

Just seeing "Party In The U.S.A." and "Tik Tok" on that list makes me wish for the 1990s. Modern music, to me, is really terrible. How the fuck is there no Rammstein there? Or Metallica? Or even more middle of the road stuff, like fucking Green Day? Or even The White Stripes? The only time Tik Tok was even bearable was when someone on this board posted a youtube video of a stop-motion animation of Hitler dancing to it or something like that (only memorable because it was so utterly ridiculous). Ke$ha is the load of semen her mother should have swallowed and is generally all-around revolting as a result of this unfortunate oversight.

The only decent song in that whole line-up past 2008 is Rolling In the Deep - I don't even like Adele but at least her songs aren't as offensive as the others. I see Snoop Dogg (or Snoop Lion or whatever he calls himself now) was also there with Drop It like It's Hot - everyone knows Snoop's best stuff was in the 1990s. I guess it was really difficult for him to ever top Doggystyle...

Also, the 1990s had this (hint: not the first time I have posted this, but it's better than any hip-hop on that list, so...)

 

Sounds to me that what you're really saying is that you now have breasts instead of boobs.

 

Before this rant, keep in mind that I like this show very much.

What a couple of slaves to the contemporary. I was talking about only the made-up names of the show/book, that's not even a NAME on the show, it's a title. It's not even a real language, it means "queen" in a language written specifically for the show. That's both self-centered attention whoring and idiotic. It's like naming your kid Yoda or Seinfeld or naming them "Handsome" in Klingon language.

You might as well tattoo a bull's-eye on them while you're at it, I thought only celebrities could be assholes that big.

 

A footy player over here named his 3 kids Rowdy, Buster and Archie. At least they're on the funnier side I suppose, and it kind of matches his personality.

 

If I ever have kids I might name them after breweries. For a girl Avery works, and so does Bell(s). If its a guy I can name it Stone, O'Dell, Drake, maybe even Three (first name) and Floyds (middle name). I think its a solid concept.

 

This blew up my twitter this morning. I'm going to ignore the debates on which songs should have made it but didn't, but there's plenty going on among these 64.

Int'l Players Anthem is losing to Umbrella.
What You Know is losing to Mr. Brightside.
Bitch Don't Kill My Vibe is losing to Blurred Lines.
Use Somebody is winning a vote. Doesn't matter which song it's against.

Everyone is wrong, and I am irrationally angry at this.

 

Ok, I might be biased, but Francis is a kick ass name, here's what we have in three generations:

1:
Served in World War Two like a bad ass
Has nine kids, nine. Only three on purpose, we're not fucking around with testosterone here.

2:
Professional skydiver
Vietnam vet
NSA speaker

3:
Zit picker
...wanna be skydiver...

Ok, two out of three isn't bad, right?

 

Drinking gin out of a nalgene while playing league on a Thursday night. I am not a proud man.

 

First Dark Knight Rises, now Ben Affleck? I think I need to get my batman tattoo removed.

 

Are you saying you're a zit-picking wanna-be skydiver? Sorry for being dense, I just want to clarify. And don't leave out your bad ass mathematical powers, bruh. I'll fix it for you.

Go go gadget statistics.