I came downstairs today to find the boyfriend watching The Muppet Show, eating Twizzlers, playing with Lego and drinking a beer. I quote: "BEING A GROWN UP IS FUCKING BALLER".
I was just doing the math today, and realized that I'll be exactly 2/3 of the way through my 20's in a couple months. Guess this isn't the time to complain about that though...
I just played flip cup for the second time in. 3 months. I love flip cup! I always wanna start singing flip flip flipafelphia every single te' Btw my team won and we all got our Cups flipped On the first time. Girls rule Boys deool
Yeah, fuck all you young folks. Every morning when I open my eyes to greet the new day, Death's roulette wheel starts spinning deciding which horrible disease may or may not infect some organ in my body that I never really knew existed. That's not a pleasant way to start the day.
Meh, I turned 40 a couple months ago. But I don't say fuck you to anyone. If you managed to get your shit together early, for real, then good on you. If you didn't, welcome to the club.
Yeah? Well guess who just rocketed to #1 on my "I'm going to haunt their ass?" How about that missy? You'll never shower alone.
I'd change probably to might, I'm putting forward death by misadventure as the way you leave this world.
OK fine. How about a creepy, disembodied entity making shampoo bottles float in mid air while you bathe ? Haven't you watched any horror movies? That's some scary shit right there. Goddamn it, I'm going to be a scary and alarming ghost.
Is there anyone, no matter what their orientation, who is not fascinated by titties? http://vimeo.com/71538460