[WDT] APRIL FOOLS [NSFW]

google the name of the lock, followed by "lockpickinglawyer"

 

how many millions of dollars do you think he'd make if he came out with his own branded or endorsed lock?

 

Any lock can be defeated; it's all a matter of how much effort the thief wants to put in.

If they really want it, they will take it.

It's the same thing with car alarms/ anti-theft systems.

Most of them are A FUCKING JOKE.
Seriously, for a long time, whenever we'd get a car with an aftermarket alarm in the shop, I would try to see how hard it would be to steal.

I could get most of them started in a minute or less, while leaving the alarm system in place.

Of course, I had total access under the hood, which the average car thief wouldn't, without drawing a lot of attention.

And you know what else I noticed: the most obnoxious car alarms were ALWAYS on piece of shit cars that no one would EVER want to steal.
Cars that if you took them to a chop-shop, they would charge you money just to get them out of there.

Want to know what the BEST anti-theft system is?

The factory systems in most '00-up cars.
The ones that shut down the PCM if the wrong key is detected.

Unless you've got the proprietary dealership software, you aren't starting that car, even if you jump the relays under the hood like I did.

And God forbid that the manufacturer decides to stop supporting that software; at my (soon to be former) employer's shop, we've got a car that is bricked, and the dealer is unhelpful.
It's been there for almost two years.
Try stealing that.

 

Don't you love it when you see cars with like those glock, gun shop or sound system stickers on the back windows? Like "hey, if you break my windows, this is what you can find inside!!"

Best anti-theft device? Don't make your shit look like something that's worth their time breaking into.

 

Funny story. I was working the front at one of our schools years back when one of the teachers walked in and said "hey there's some dude out front looking into car windows." We were in a good part of town, but people are assholes and also idiots, and even though we have signs reminding everyone, people still leave their purses in the front seat thinking their tinted windows are enough. Doesn't take much for someone to walk through, knock out a window and run away before anyone knows any better.

So in a moment of sheer stupidity, I told one of our admins to follow me, dialed 9-1-1 on my blackberry -- back when those were hot shit -- gave her the phone and told her to call if my idea didn't work. Then I ran outside, and having nothing on me to defend myself, decided to out-crazy that asshole. So my 6 foot, maybe 140 lbs ass (it was shortly after brain surgery), started sprinting at full speed, waiving my arms and legs and yelling gibberish and picking up rocks and leaves and shit and throwing them in the air.

Fucker took one look at me and ran off. And thank god. Once he left and I came to my senses, I realized I would have been absolutely fucked if he had a knife, and also that none of those vehicles he was looking into were mine, so the smart move would have been to call the cops with a description of him.

But I'm not smart. Funny story though.

 

The video that got him famous was filmed where I go fishing when I’m in Florida. Driven over that bridge thousands of times by now.



I don’t know what it says about me that WD and demoranch (who’s a massive fucking douchebag in person) live in the same two exact parts of the country I spend the most time.

 

Right... Because of all the haters, and not because his parents are loaded.

EDIT: I just watched about thirty seconds of that video, and the one 'nerds posted, and there's no way in hell that guy is NOT being bankrolled by someone.

"Haters" isn't enough to do it.