[WDT] FIRST DAY OF FALL [NSFW]

I had a client that insisted on being called Dr. Lastname. I have not one damn clue what he was doctor of. He was a land developer, I assure you he didn't have a PhD in engineering, which would have been useful in his career.

We happily called him doctor because he was responsible for somewhere between a half and a whole million dollars of the company's revenue each year.

 

I used to do that as a teenager just because of how intentionally condescending it sounded, like a joke. People do that for real?

Oh, and it’s DOCTOR, not “Mister”. I drive a nicer car than you, and demand to be recognized for it.

 

It’s common to have Esq. after your name on letterhead but douchy to insist on having it announced.

I’d like to see a lawyer correct a judge with, “uh, it’s Mr. Smith, Esquire, please.”

On a related note, in court here, you’re supposed to refer to a magistrate presiding over a hearing as “Your Worship.”

 

bored

 

Tell his wife to stop withholding sex. Hungry dogs will eventually resort to the trash bin.

 

My neighbor does this. Except, he's not actually mowing his lawn. He's just a piece of shit lazy fuck who likes riding around on his lawn tractor instead of walking around the yard. It's not even an acre.
You would think he would just ride around without the blade engaged, which would be at least somewhat acceptable. Nope, he flips it on and off constantly like he's power shifting trying to beat Dom Toretto in the 1/4 mile.
I want to salt his lawn one day and see what he does.

 

". . . but the bad news is it's your wife's handwriting."

 

Finally found a toy this badass can't destroy quickly.

 

“Did you know you can use old motor oil to fertilize your lawn?”

- The Environmental Protection Agency

 

When I was growing up one of my sisters, in high school, broke up with a crazy dude who used grass killer or salt or something to spell out SLUT in the yard. It was there for years until we finally moved. Had to re-sod over it, multiple times since that stuff got into the ground apparently.

 

Maybe it would taste better if you stopped pouring in half a bottle of Night Train.

 

very interesting music.

 

Oh, please.

Fine. It’s a flavour-fortified wine like MD 20/20. To help break you into drinking in college and later in life, break you into drinking under a highway overpass.