I was planning on not leaving the house until I was forced to go into the office despite being out of bourbon and having to turn to the clear liquors and expensive scotch that I keep in the bar for guests. Then I woke up today to dozens of ants all over the sink and shower in my bathroom. I saw 2-3 of them in there the last few days, but I figured they were scouts and hoped that if I killed all of those and none reported back to the nest, that they'd fuck off and go looking somewhere else. Instead, a whole bunch showed up overnight. I went to the store and bought one of every type of ant bait they had, and now the bathroom looks like a tiny Mars colony. On the plus side, since I was out in public anyway, I stopped by the liquor store right after it opened and didn't have to deal with anyone except the owner. 6 months ago, who could have predicted that the liquor stores would ask you to put on a mask before entering the store?
So an Inuit family man up in Quaqtaq was forced to kill a Polar Bear breaking into his home. Look at this SIZE of this fucking thing. Damp and steaming from the womb, they are man-eating killing machines: ...we having warning signs for coyotes around here. This dude had four kids with this war-beast smashing in his door.
Polar bears are terrifying. They are the largest land predators despite living in the part of the world with the least prey.
TP I have. After giving you grief about going out to buy candy, I went to the grocery store for the first time in 4 weeks because I was running low on soft drinks. I'm an idiot.
In case you were wondering....in Bum Fuck, Montana they still have these: More importantly, they also have these just sitting by the highway. We probably saw 50 of them today. I wish i could have snapped a picture a little sooner....the Tom was displaying and it looked awesome.
got a bunch of those buy the house. The vultures have been going crazy since I killed the hogs, and the tom is so boner drunk he's walking around all prissy with his feathers trying to fuck one of them
The boar I had used to do that with the neighbor's cows. He wanted to fuck anything and everything. One of the most bizarre things to experience is walking through the woods and hearing the familiar "Gobble, gobble, gobble" of turkeys and searching around and you can't spot any. Then your eyes move up from ground level and into the trees....and there they are. A whole fucking flock of them roosting in the trees. Turkeys belong on the ground, not in the fucking trees. That's some devil stuff right there. On the plus side at least wild turkeys are docile, not territorial assholes like their domesticated cousins. Damn can those things get mean.
You don't want the whole nitty gritty. I will say that you definitely need something to dry off though.