We knew this sort of thing as children before Kevin Smith turned it into an annoying movie joke. It’s the type of thing you should know simply from being alive.
Speaking of dumping, I was recently using the restroom, finished wiping and got a text right as I was about to stand up. I replied with a lengthy-ish text, stood, pulled my pants up and walked out of the bathroom like usual but the break between wiping and standing was long enough that my brain couldn't convince myself that I had already wiped. I had to go back in there and wipe again to get my mind off it.
Nothing lasts forever, but after nearly 40 years “my” bar is up for sale. I know the owners very well, and they’re getting older and tired and just don’t want to deal with it anymore. I’ve been talking with a couple of friends about buying it, but not seriously. I’m not sure how great of a purchase it would be, other than the liquor license and inventory. And let’s be real here- owning my own bar probably wouldn’t work out very well for me.
I just had a squirrel fall or jump on me and cling to my coat. It was dark, my heart nearly fucking stopped.
No, it didn't scare the shit out of me. Just nearly scared the life out of me. Literally, my heart went from basically resting rate, to a million beats per minute in an instant. The adrenaline hit so hard it hurt. I let out a screech that I'm embarrassed of.