Sorry, didn't have your resume in front of me, and because I'm not your wife I hadn't bothered to commit any details about you to memory.
I once hit an owl doing 68 mph in an old flat nosed Freightliner (I know I was doing exactly 68 because that's what the limiter was set to.) The owl hit just below the passenger windshield and it was like a cannon going off in the truck. Quickly followed by blood, guts and feathers everywhere. On the plus side, it did wake me up for the next 50 miles or so.
I was driving a camper van in New Zealand and hit a very large swamp harrier (~5' wingspan). We weren't going that fast so there was no blood, but it sounded like an explosion and it caromed off the window and went sailing into the air behind us. Those boxers never really smelled right after that.
hogs will do that to you as well. Never hit one myself, but I've seen a shitload of vehicles that have. There's a collision center right up the road that said hog and deer hits keep them in business. We're on a long but busy country road and driving at night while those fuckers play frogger is stressful as anything. And most of the pigs are black or brown, and their eyes don't reflect, so you don't see them until they're on your bumper. When I'm out hunting for them with the big lights on the utv, I identify them by where the light isn't. Whenever I see a dead one on the road, it's usually followed by about 100 yards of car parts. They will wreck your shit. And are the #1 reason people get a cattle guard.
Watched a deer get atomized by a semi on I-81 in southwest Virginia early one morning. The deer wasn't center mass to the semi; we lost sight of the head and neck as it somersaulted end-over-end across the car in the next lane
Don’t expect any response, that’s the same police department that protects cops who torture animals to death.
I once hit a robin. It flew across the road at about grill height so there was no way to avoid it. It only made a light *thwack* and burst into a small cloud of remarkably colorful feathers. Unfortunately I was driving with a coworker who loves birds like I love my family. She completely lost her mind. You’d think I had run over the Pope (assuming that would be something that would bother you). It may as well have been a bald eagle with a spotted owl in its talons, flying home to feed some blind orphans.
I'll raise you I know someone who hit a cow on his sport bike. Medevac'ed, breathing tube for a while and sadly he did not survive. Now sure how the steer is doing but I would imagine in better shape than him.
I swear to God this is the sexiest grandmother ever. That voice and that attitude...wow. Then again, maybe it's because I had a crush on her 35 years ago.
You’d probably be happy to know that Darby can still sing pretty good, and the Headpins still tour together.
Just did a search...Fuck me running, Darby is still awesome. I've had a couple of girlfriends that I wasn't so much attracted to their looks, but dear God could those girls sing. When the lights were out and they sang me to sleep, it was the greatest thing ever.
Redneck problems? Trying to proofread some curriculum and these two toms are strutting their stuff around the vultures and hawk feasting on the two armadillos I exterminated last night. I can’t stop laughing at them doing their stupid turkey dance to something that isn’t a turkey and it’s not conducive to getting work done.
Yeah why not add leprosy to the 2020 shitshow? Although the roadkill deer I’ve eaten has been pretty damn tasty. And tender.