A big part of the problem with little dogs is that the owners don't take them seriously, so they never correct them when they act aggressive. Or worse, they think it's cute and encourage it with inadvertent positive reinforcement.
I really saw this in action at the vet I worked for and I see it all the time here. How many people take their fucking backpack dogs places they aren’t supposed to go? And the fucking dog barks and they’re like “oh teehee he thinks he’s so big”, where my boxers could NEVER go because they don’t fit into a purse or a goddamn walker. Or they have the little dog on a retractable leash and the dog runs up to me snarling and yapping then the person is worried about MY dogs.
Lapdogs were designed for testing out garbage disposals. My aunt used to have little bastard Pomeranians than would crawl under the couch and bite your ankles with their razor teeth. Miserable, yappy little shits with oversized tongues and bulging, insectoid eyes. Whenever my aunt left the room, my Uncle would loudly encourage you to kick them in the face. For he hated them even more. “I wish you killed the fucking beasts.” he’d say.
Are you sure you want to fuck a ghost and not just some guy in a white sheet? You do have a history of sleeping with guys that have a superiority complex...
I know I already repped you but I must say it again. This is the cutest thing I have seen in awhile. I think we could get Piggy in a baby Bjorn setup but then she would become even more entitled than she is now. Plus walks are for exercise. Also I don't want to be "those" people....she already has a red fleece vest. No mas.
I watched the Frontline documentary "Documenting Hate" last night and there's a bunch of scenes where they're matching up videos from different white supremacist rallies. Like "this guy in the beard was hitting people with a club at Charlottesville, and also punching people in Huntington Beach." I feel like they could have done the same thing just with Audrey's walks of shame.
The New York Subway put in some stupid rule that said that you could only take your dogs/pets on the subway if they fit in a bag, so a ton of people worked the loophole:
See, situational details are so important. In the right circumstances I can now imagine myself bringing my dog on the subway in a plastic bag. I wanna see that lady put the straps on her shoulder now.
You know how in the movies the person is screaming in their sleep and won't wake up? That shit is 100% true. Twice in the last few months my wife has had the worst nightmares. The first time it happened I gently shook her, telling her it's just a nightmare but it took a bit for her to wake up and she was struggling against me and trying to push me away. Last night I quickly shook her pretty good and shouted "WIFE!!! Wake up!!" and it seemed to work a lot better. It is fucking *terrifying* to wake up to your wife screaming. I can't even describe the sound. It's not like a horror movie where it's just a monotone sound. Just a complete and utter sound of terror. And then I lay there afterwards thinking about how it's like the movies where one person sees all the crazy shit and everyone else thinks they're seeing things or crazy. Am I the oblivious person? Not seeing the demons trying to kill me while I'm sleeping blissfully unaware? I don't really believe that, but when your adrenaline is pumping in the middle of the night, you think some crazy shit.
Wait that’s not normal? I do that at most once every three days. Though usually it’s something medically-related, like they’re operating on me and the anesthesia isn’t working so I’m trying to yell at them I’m awake but I can’t talk so they keep cutting and I feel everything. I’ll also have nightmares that I can’t breathe. Either that I’m drowning or choking usually, and I’ll wake up like I’m struggling for air according to my wife. In related news, I don’t sleep well.
Those are night terrors. I used to get them but had no memory. One night they scared my wife so much she left the bedroom and pushed furniture in front of the goddamn door so I couldn’t get out.
Jesus, what happened to you people as kids? My most activity while sleeping involves talking about food out loud or having full conversations with people that I do not remember the next day. I speak back and physically follow commands. I used to sleep walk pretty bad, too, when I was a kid. I think I'm one of those people who should never take Ambien.
You physically follow commands while asleep? Your husband is so lucky. If my wife did that I would have her howling at the moon every night. At least I would like to think I would.