Aldis has the best store brand there is. I don’t know how they one up just about every product they knock off. I snack on their dill pickle chips like candy.
I'm not much of a strip club guy, but the one story I have that never fails to make me smile when I think of it: Went to a club with my brother-in-law and some of his friends. One of his friends was this really short but stocky guy (SG). SG wasn't supposed to be at the club, he promised his wife he wouldn't, swore up and down. I told him it was fine and we could go drink some beers instead but nope, he was going, so off to the club we all went. We're there for a while and this huge bodybuilder girl, covered in tattoos, gets up on stage. This woman looked like she could have started for an NFL team - not an ounce of fat on her, just ripped, more than 6' tall. SG absolutely falls in love with her, starts throwing tips at her. Won't buy a private dance because apparently that would be violating his wife's trust (?), but also won't get more than a foot from the stage while she's there. After a bit we're getting ready to leave, and I'm not sure how much he's tipped her at this point, but he sees a couple guys folding money length-wise and holding it in their mouths, and some of the girls are basically letting the guys motorboat them while they take their tips. So SG takes a $50 and does this. Bodybuilder girl walks up to the edge of the stage, reaches down and grabs two fistfuls of SG's shirt, picks him up out of his chair with almost no effort, and lays him down on the stage. She then proceeds to squat over him and drag her cooch up his face, from chin to forehead in one smooth motion, and when she stands up the money is gone. SG then gets picked up again and lowered off the stage. SG has the biggest, dopiest grin on his face after this and proceeds to wobble out of the club like a cartoon character who just got kissed. An hour later he discovers he was so dazed by the experience that he left his brand new iPhone on the stage, and has to figure out how to tell his wife that his $1000 phone is missing so she can't call him, but no, don't use "Find my iPhone" to try and locate it.
I can't tell if you mean it legitimately snowed there in the desert, or you just jizzed everywhere after watching Juice's IG post...
I unknowingly dated a topless dancer and a girl who worked in a rub n tug. I didn’t meet either of them at their “work “ - one was a girl I went to high school with and the other I met at a friends party. Both had moved on to more socially acceptable careers in teaching and as a magazine editor, respectively. The rub n tug girl was very odd. The stripper- holy crap what a ride.
At our five year high school reunion I caught up with a girl who was working as a receptionist at a massage parlor in Chicago. She said that the owner was a nice old lady who hosted like a dozen foreign exchange students who lived with her and also worked in the massage parlor. I tried to explain to her that she was probably working for a human trafficking ring, but she wasn't having any of it.
I would argue H-E-B in Texas would also compete for that crown. I generally buy store brands over national ones these days.
Strippers are the reason why the best car to drive is not a 1963 Ferrari GTO, but rather a 2012 Chevy Cobalt rented from Hertz that you can JUST DESTROY. And leave it in the dust before those crazy fucks find you and kill your dog.
Oh dear, dating strippers is right in my wheelhouse. Or was. I dated quite a few of them back in the 80's when I was a working musician and every single one of them had a Buick station wagon full of issues. They were all bizarre "Relationships." I was a trophy for them and they were....not so much a trophy for me, but a pleasant place to put my dick and a source of clothes, food, drugs, and booze. They were all toys for rich old men and I, in turn, was their toy. They loved to spend the money they got from their sugar daddies dressing me up in cool clothes (And they had much better taste in stage wear than I did. I would've been happy in a T-shirt and Levis.) I was a drunk, destructive, fun to be around doll to them. When I was in the same town they'd dress me, do my hair and make up, and then push me out on stage. Every single one of them did the same thing. Looking back, it was just a fucking bizarre series of symbiotic relationships. The worst memory I have of the whole experience is having to ride in a car for 2 hours, hungover, with my then girlfriend and three of her fellow strippers. The combination of the inane babble coming out of their mouths, my hangover, and the realization that at the moment that was my life made me think real seriously of going to church and finding a nice girl.
Truth. Rental cars are the most high performance cars you can drive. What other car can you throw in reverse while doing 80 mph?
.... or use to do 50/50 rail-slide on a stainless steel highway divider? And still return to the rental lot in the first available space you see when you pull in?
We used to trash them on field jobs. Mostly SUVs and vans to hold our sampling equipment, bottle ware etc. We were collecting groundwater, soil and animal samples so they usually wound up coated with mud in and out and smelling like fish. One trip we lost a live toad sample (the lab would analyze the tissue after freezing and “homogenization “) in a minivan. I’m sure that smelled great after sitting in the return lot for a a day or two.