We are all dying, in a Sylvia Plath sort of way...

I regret college and not going. Not for the education. I consider myself relatively well educated. I regret it for the experience and for the people that I'd have met. I regret not knowing that I was a bad motherfucker when I was younger and having too much self doubt, too much sensitivity and too many emotional hang ups. Just let go. I regret letting my dad stealing my bass guitar get in the way of how much I used to love to play. I regret letting an industry tell me where I should put my focus instead of just taking a shitty job coding and doing DBA work. I'd be a sick programmer by now. I regret not finding that Krav Maga dojo in Kansas City waaaay sooner. I've been to so many since and never found the quality and learning that I got there. I regret not going to Oslo when my friend was living there playing for the European Football league. I regret not going to that girl's house who invited me over in my intro VB class. She had amazing tits and a hot tub. Thanks Jesus.

I think though except for college and mispent hangups during youth I'm fixing or have fixed all of these in some way. So its my hope that these are just detours on my way and for that I'll take the experience of them all and hope it makes me better instead being hung up on the 'wrong' choice at the time. Hopefully I'll just appreciate what comes of making the 'right' choices now.

 

The girl regret: Use to hang out with a girl that I liked and we were starting to move forward to dating until I got all drunk and made out with her friend and ruined everything. That was over a year and a half ago, I've been with the current GF for a year now but I still think about her from time to time.

The job regret: Was offered a job in Southern California in 2006 but declined it. Could've sold my house in Northern CA for $340K (owed $225k) Now my house is worth about $135k and I owe $215k. Fuck. Probably my biggest regret.

The regret that wouldn't have mattered: I wish I wouldn't have drove the night I got my DUI, but I say it wouldn't have mattered because I was drinking and driving way too often anyways and would've eventually been caught regardless.

 

I don't have a ton of regret cause I have good friends, live in a sweet city, have a solid job, and am pretty happy. I do kind of wish I'd changed how I got here.

I was pre-med when I first got to college almost as a "why not?" Anyone who dabbled in that area knows what a ridiculous mindset that is. So after a terrible year of grades, and a semester off, I was back as a psych major and finance minor. I had a plan, but unfortunately with the economic situation in 2008/2009, I was not really in a position to put that plan into effect in the minds of alot of employers. So I bounced jobs, getting laid off, it was grand.

If I had to do it again? I would have came in with a better idea of what I wanted to do. Pursued finance all the way through. Or even gave advertising proper attention in undergrad and waited until I was 25. Judging by my career path so far, I could be at my same company but 2 levels higher and making over double what I am now...sigh.

 

Actually in contrary to everyone else, I should have went harder in college. I never had any drunk make-outs, one night stands, wake-up on random lawns or accidentally fuck any fatties in college. As a senior and an R.A. I could have fucked 3-4 of my residents should have done more. Nothing is worse than leaving sex on the table. I also could have cheated on the ex that cheated on me with this tall Canadian volleyball chick that had the most ridiculous body. SON OF A BITCH.

 

I've done some regrettable things, but I don't dwell on the past. I've learned from them and moved on. I've found life to be a lot simpler when I stay focused on the here and now and do what I'm supposed to be doing. I wasted a lot of years regretting the past and worrying about the future. Like the saying goes, when you've got one leg in the past and one in the future, you're pissing on the present.

 

I regret not getting my dick wet early and often in college. Instead I was a part of LAN parties and all night counter-strike sessions. Such a fucking waste practicing at something so worthless. I'm making up for that now but it should have been corrected sooner.

 

1. I regret quitting golf when I was 18. I was pretty decent at it (6 handicap), but had hit a plateau. I wasn't good enough to play at a real college and had no chance of being a pro. Then one day I lost about a $1000 in a match (that was a lot of money to young frebis). I quit for several years. Now I am trying to get back into the game and find it incredibly frustrating. I can't hit the ball as far as I could. I'm an 18 handicap. I get the shanks sometimes. I'm usually the C player in scrambles. But I don't gamble for real money any more, and subsequently enjoy it a lot more.

2. I regret not taking a job I wanted out of college. Instead I took the one that paid the most. It sucked, and didn't challenge me in the least. I got bored, quit working, and got laid off. Then I started down the career path I should have gone with. I'm a little behind in the cash flow of where I should be.

3. Not applying myself in college. I didn't care about any class that wasn't a core class. I now want to go back to school, and probably will have to start over at square one because of that attitude.

4* I really used to regret when I got arrested 5 years ago for being too drunk to be in public. But that really doesn't affect me any more since it was so long ago.

 

I should have a lot more regrets about all the time, money and relationships I wasted by being a drunk and a drug addict but my real regret is that I did not pursue fishing in Alaska on a commercial boat or for that matter any fishing based career, I applied once for a position on a processor but was told I was to tall and then I just quit trying, that was 21 years ago.
This of course begs the question of why I don't start doing it right now?
I don't think I could do that to my wife, she has a hard time with the times now when I am gone for a week or 10 days so 3-6 months at sea would not do any positive for our relationship.
The amount of sportfishing I am fortunate enough to do right now scratches that itch for the most part.
And of course for my I am just being a pussy excuses, I would be afraid to fail, I don't want it bad enough to scrap my last 14 years in my current job, I am to old and they don't get to sleep enough, I am out of shape- all of which are just bullshit excuses that could be over come.

I should not have went just went through all that in my mind, because now I want to go home and tell my wife that I am going to go fish for a few years.

 

I regret not using condoms more often in college.

When I had to get an STD test a few years back, I was sweating bullets thinking i had something. Came back clean, thank goodness. And as far as I know, I have no illegitimate spawn.

I'd rather have gone home and jacked off than deal with condoms and the ensuing post-coital talk.


The lesson here kids, sometimes you get lucky playing Russian Roulette with your dick. But I may have been on slut away from the HIV-y.

 

I feel a bit out of sync with the example regrets. I mean those aren't really close for me.

2. I wish I didn't work so hard.

Shit. I wish I'd worked harder. So many things in my life are messed up because I'm a lazy little bitch. If I'd worked harder in high school, or been smarter in the 5 years after high school - I could be so very much better off now.

3. I wish I'd had the courage to express my feelings.

I'm far more often embarrassed by not having a verbal filter than regretting not saying shit.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

I periodically get in touch with my old friends. There aren't many of them who I really regret not keeping in touch with. The older I get, the better I get at picking good friends and cutting off shitty ones. I regret not distancing myself from some of my toxic friends sooner.

I do live a life that's as close to true to myself as I can reasonably manage, and I don't think I actively sabotage my own happiness often enough to call it a major regret.

Focus:Do you have any regrets in your life so far? Do you see yourself having any of these regrets when the time comes? Any tricks you employ to remind yourself of what matters?

There are a few big things I wish I'd done. I wish I'd ditched my first real job sooner, and gone to live in Europe for a couple of years, single and without debts. I wish I'd taken the opportunity to be a Civilian contractor in Iraq. I wish I'd stayed into martial arts and kept my fitness level up. I think I'll probably always regret the not doing the years in Europe thing. I'll never be debt free / young / disconnected from ties enough to do it again the same way - and it's a completely different experience in your thirties or forties. The Iraq thing might have changed my finances and career direction a lot - but I think that'll be a faded regret by the time I die. And Jesus fuck I hope I manage to get my fitness under control so that I die that obnoxiously healthy old guy who was shot by a jealous husband or something.

 

Although I am happy with where I am at in life I still have a few regrets. I regret not going to a bigger college. Probably one out of state because I think it would have helped me come out of my shell sooner. Since I'm a nerd, I have the typical nerd regret of not dating more when I was younger. I wish I would have started playing golf when I was younger rather than when I was 23. I wish I would have spent more time getting to know my mom before she died. I'll stop there because the more I come up with the more depressed I get.

 

Bundy, the grass always seems greener on the other side.

Unless you really find your niche going to Uni means you will graduate owing a sh*t load of money to the Goverment and then having to battle away for years with all your other fellow graduates climbing the corporate shitpole for less than what most good tradies in Australia earn per annum.