I found once you make the 60-70 mark during the Century Club, you can make the rest of the way with just pure willpower. Watching everyone tease your mate for not making it past 40 also helps.
There is cruel and then there is Keystone Ice. Fuck that shit. On the day of my 21st birthday my roommate took it upon himself to buy the worst alcohol possible, because it was his last chance to fuck me over like that. He ended up buying some of the cheapest mini's he could find and for some reason I was compelled to drink them all. The worst was one called Dark Eye's vodka. It was like charcoal in liquid form. I can barely drink vodka to this day, because I always start to think about that stuff.
Completely agree. It's like running a marathon, once you hit mile marker 18 it's cruise control and willpower the rest of the way. The best though is the girl who talks a bunch of shit beforehand, gets to 20 and bitches out. I've seen it a thousand times. It reminds me of Nick Swardson. http://comedians.jokes.com/nick-swardson/videos/nick-swardson---drunk-chicks
Like me with Goldschlager. I can't even eat red hot candies or chew Big Red gum because it will make me almost puke. There is a reason they lowered the alcohol content on the shit, it used to be liquid death.
Going to meet up with an old college boyfriend who happens to be in town (I moved halfway across the country from where we both went to college, he moved to Poland (?), and somehow ends up here in the midwest for holidays). So this will be the first time the husband is meeting a college ex. Obviously I want to look hot, but not in a way that looks like I am trying that may piss the husband off. So, what is the etiquette here? No more cleavage than normal? No higher heels than normal?
The etiquette here is the super-hot zero-effort casual girl next door look, as exemplified below. The point is to emphasize how you are smokin hot every single day of your marriage during even the most mundane of nuptial activities. He's seen the mya show, he's fucked the mya show, what you want him to be jealous of is the overall quality of life upgrade that being with you would have been. Spoiler
Good point. However, we are going to one of "those bars" that requires a bit of effort. But I think I will just put in as much effort as normal if we were just going for a nice night out. I am kind of the girl next door type anyway. (but I may wear the tighter jeans....just because)
I'm with Aetius. You need to emphasise how awesome your marriage is at transcending the normal and mundane. Nothing does that better than matching outfits. Spoiler
Hold on a sec... I think you're too close and involved in this to make a good decision, but don't worry, we're here to help! You should try on your various outfits, take a pic of each, and post them here. WE will then tell you which one we think is the hottest, ensuring your victory tonight. You're welcome.
What can I say, you guys are givers. Jokes on me though. I think the tighter jeans are out due to 3 days of excess turkey and booze leaving me feeling bloated. Do sweatpants translate into the effortless thing that Aetius was talking about?
I had to google that. And trust me, if I had those laying about, I would be sharing with you guys. I think the pink/black are the most "me"
Lululemon is your friend. <a class="postlink" href="http://shop.lululemon.com/Run_Alpine_Tight/pd/c/560/np/560/p/2958.html" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://shop.lululemon.com/Run_Alpine_Ti ... /2958.html</a> Only if you're wearing a nice thong that peeks ever so slightly out of the back.
You were probably being sarcastic, but I actually really like those. I run and I tend to take issue with the lack of pockets in women's athletic wear. That little side zipper thing is genius. And that flat wide waistband looks flattering, but probably keeps them in place, and the stitching down the leg is probably elongating. Plus they come in real sizes instead of just small, medium, large like normal running tights. Thanks!
Harry Potter tonight. My friend will be stoned, and she will be providing me with crown royal in a flask. My egomania is suspicious of her motives, but the rest of me really wouldn't mind getting out and, if necessary, watching Harry Potter to do it. I would like to point out that the instinct to provoke jealousy amongst exes (and exes' currents) is pretty suspicious. One girl I know only refers to her ex (a man she openly states to have been more in love with than the man she plans to marry) as her "ex fling", and wears her shortest skirts and tightest everything else whenever she knows she is going to be in his presence, and revels in the cut-eye from the woman he left her for.
Those things are almost single handedly responsible for converting me from being a boob man to an ass and legs man.
Who said I was trying to provoke jealousy, I said I just wanted to look hot, men seem to have as issue with this distinction.
Who said I was referring to you specifically? We can take it as read that your motives are pure as the driven snow and still discourse on other women's behaviour with regard to exes. Then again, what the hell do I know about relationships with exes. In any case. You were more than happy to entertain discussion on how to look to make your ex jealous without having to reinforce that you just wanted to look hot and now make him jealous.
How to plow 18" of snow in a circular driveway hillbilly style: Wake up and notice 18" of snow all over your 2WD truck. Frown. Go to the fridge, pop a beer, and try to formulate a plan. Drink a bunch of beer before inspiration strikes. Fill the bed of your 2WD truck to cab level with snow and then turn a water hose on it. Return to the house and drink a few more beers as the whole mess freezes. Once frozen you now have some ballast. Get in the truck and start driving like the drunken idiot you now are...full power four wheel drifts around and around until the driveway is clear. It also helps if a buddy stops by with a long tracked, paddled RMK snowmobile to knock down some of the birms. I think my new neighbors think I'm quite fucking insane. They'll get used to it. C'mon, you don't think I suddendly turned into a hillbilly the moment I hit Mississippi did you? I've had a lifetime of practice.