My weekend has consisted of lots of turkey, black friday shopping (first and last time, but I love my new tv), going to my cousin's wedding rehearsal last night, his wedding today, and I was planning on cleaning house tonight. A good friend of mine who now lives in Arkansas is up staying with her mom for the holiday and called me this evening, she and her sister's are going to the bar tonight and she wants me to come down to hang out with her. So I think I'm going to pregame with a Four Loko and then head to the bar. There's actually a DJ tonight so it should be pretty fun. Of course, compared to cleaning house it can't be bad. Edited to add: the watermelon Four Loko is way worse than whatever flavor I tried last weekend.
Blind people wearing thoroughly ridiculous clothing: intentional on their part, or a cruel joke by their sighted care-givers?
I just drank a shot of moonshine gin. Holy fuck me running sideways. I already know I'm going to be seeing visions. Burned like hell, but it tasted pretty damn good. My buddy told me he was going to introduce me to the guy who made it...and that he'd be happy to build me a still and teach me how to brew the shit. I'm back in buisness once I get back to Mississippi...no more jailhouse wine brewing for me. Thank fucking God. I'm lucky I didn't go blind from that shit. It was mild alcohol poisioning at the very best.
Holy fuck, I just found my new favorite prank. Every one of my friends who drives a truck is gonna get it.
Be sure that your buddy's truck can handle all that weight. Water/ice is heavier than most people give it credit for.
I'm guessing it probably has the type of suspension on it that you need airport runway stairs to get into.
'round these parts malls only have one floor. City boy. Seriously, you think folks of my ilk hang around malls with those fancy Sears stores?
Sears? Whadda I look like, a millionaire? Actually, Sears sucks up here. It always looks like it's getting ready to go out of business, but doesn't. That, and you can't find a fucking cash register in ANY of them because instead of putting them near the door like any idiot would the stash them around in random covert bunkers and foxholes like it's a fucking scavenger hunt or something. Seriously, where's Jennitalia? I want her to amuse us with her hammered carnal tales that she communicates to us on her keyboard through whale-song.
It was my berfday* last night. Drank a shit ton of vodka redbulls with the energy drink mix I mentioned earlier. Im officially in my late twenties. I honestly don't give my liver as much practice as I used too. I black out and forget shit wwwwaaaaay more than I used too. My buddy texted me claiming I puked at his bar at some point but I dont think I did. Who knows. Getting old sucks. * the spelling I used as I repeatedly drunk texted this 18 year old chick Im trying to bang.
HOUSE PARTY TIME AT MY PLACE! Awwwww yeeeeeeeeeeeah! Also, got first place at the dodgeball tournament today. I am godly.
Make sure you spell cool "kewl" Also, eliminating vowels and all punctuation will probably help your chances. You don't want her to think that you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.
Follow NFL players on Twitter*. Study their style. Text like that. *For the record, I only have Twitter to follow players/coaches/beat writers of my fav. teams.
Yeah I took a page from OchoCinco and took her phone from her put my number in it and then repeatedly texted her my willingness to marry her*. Too bad she's American and this line doesnt work on her as well as it does on the Shanghainese/Chinese girls. *He did this to a girl I know.
Gerald Sensabaugh sat in the row in front of us at the game tonight. His family is absolutely perfect and nauseatingly adorable. I feel the need to find my own jungle fever.
http://www.myjones.com/limited/bacon Ho - ly -tits. I'm speechless with a lone tear in my eye. And a chubby.
The name wasn't familiar at first and this is one of the first thing google picks up, hilarious. Also, fuck the Cowboys.
Harry Potter drinking game: 1. Procure a flask of alcohol (in this case, Crown Royal) 2. Drink it over the course of watching Harry Potter 3. (optional) laugh at inappropriate moments.