Hey, as long as his love doesn't involve actually boning ponies, he can do whatever he wants. I remember one of the first things I watched on the internet was a video about this couple who was in a polyamorous relationship with their miniature stallion. After that...just don't have sex with ponies.
Pfft, please, I picture her nekkid all the time - not usually (not usually) the shaved head, though - but I save those comments for rep, dur. Not nearly as disturbing as changing the order of two of those words.
Is there anything worse, in this entire world, than trying to pull up your pants but pulling up your underwear and giving yourself a wedgie instead?
Regular wedgie or vag wedgie? A kid in my youth group tried to give a girl a bathing suit wedgie by pulling up on the top of the leg holes of her one piece bathing suit, drawing it into her ass crack and sugar ditch all at the same time. This happened nearly 20 years ago and I remember it like it was yesterday. The look of agony and horror on that poor girl's face will still make me laugh at inappropriate times.
Did you then wet willy yourself, steal your own lunch money and stuff yourself into a locker afterwards? I can think of worse things: how about running into Clancy Brown at night in a dark alley? What could be more terrifying than that?
I don't think it's possible for us to just have one. My jeans are wedgie-pick-proof too so I'm just sitting here, suffering in silence, until I am not talking to an idiot and can go to the bathroom. I have faith that I would find a way to do all of those things, one day. In other news, this was just said to me at work: "Well, we can scratch public lice off the list because neither of use have pubes."
Just heard that there was a shooting at Schofield. It's so recent that I can't find anything online about it yet.
This was the worst part of visiting Tokyo, our hotel toilet was heated, every time I sat down on it I got that feeling like a sweaty fat guy just got finished with a power shit.
Growing up, my bathroom had a toilet right next to a heating vent, so in the winter, the seat would almost always be warm. Also, as a kid, I was kind of like Shitbreak from American Pie. I absolutely HATED using a toilet away from home, so I never really processed the unpleasantness of a warm toilet seat because what it implies. Instead it was an absolute delight.
Y'all actually sit down on toilets outside of your home? Unless I'm on my own throne or at my parents' house I hover.
Oh dear, I am the opposite. I feel like my ass has seen a thing or two, it won't balk at sitting on a toilet seat. Unless the seat is smeared in shit and piss, I think I am safe. One time I hovered and got so much pee splashed on me I vowed never to hover again.
Pfft. You people use toilet seats?! I haven't used a toilet seat since I was 8 years old! I prefer to sit right on the porcelain (although I put down a layer of toilet paper if it's a public toilet.). I started doing this when I visited my brother as a kid, and the toilet seat at the house he was staying at was so nasty looking that I refused to sit on it. After trying a seat-less shit, I realized that I liked it better that way, and I've been doing it ever since. Also, there are no toilet seats in jails. Just saying. Do tell...
Yea, that. I used to have a problem with it but after working on the road in public places, I've shit after some really dirty people and was grateful to do it. Here's some new Bingham. I think I like the old sound better.
How about unwillingly grabbing the drink at the party with all of the cigarette butts in it? It feels like your tongue took a shit.
I'll see that and raise you taking a long pull from the beer someone emptied 3/4 of before they started using it as a dip spittoon. Never done it, but Jesus is that a quick recipe for an angry drunk.