Ohh ohh ohh! I made the best steak ever last night. Apparently London Broils can be kinda tough? Not mine! It was the most perfect steak I've eaten in my memory. Pink in the middle, juicy everywhere, very tender....ahh. I have a ton of leftovers and can't wait to have steak on my pizza tonight.
Just when I thought the in-law thing was under wraps, guess who called to drag my own mom through this war of misinformation? Yes, let's tell 1 piece of truth with 5 lies and 5 stretches to my daughter in law's mom who loves to gossip. I just LOVE getting a call from my mom to tell me what's what about all things concerning their marriage. Bitch, please. If you knew the half of it your insides would be hanging out. I basically told her that she shouldn't believe anything crazypants tells her and to keep her nose out of it. I also called my dad and told him to shut my mom up. Yeah, like that'll work.
Teach him that that kind of behavior isn't cool. Throw something against his window, like an old tomato or an egg. Break up his rhythm. Watch what he does when you do that. Or you could do the old "ding-dong-ditch." (flaming bag of dog-crap optional) That's what I would do, anyway. Or you could always call the cops; they've got to be good for SOMETHING. I mean, what do we pay those assholes for?
To keep you from driving drunk and plowing into someone or something? Argue against the removal of pubic hair all you want, but you need to stop this bullshit of "the police are such assholes" when you were caught breaking the fucking law. Personally, I'm glad that we pay folks to try and contain your idiocy. An impossible task to be sure, but I'm glad there are people willing to try. Don't bitch about police when you are the reason they are so desperately needed.
Yes, they are desperately needed. I needed them all the times that my shop has been broken into, and I lost thousands of dollars worth of tools/parts/equipment. Where were they? Were the cops out making their rounds? Were they apprehending other suspects? Were they jerking off to videos on their phones? I DON'T KNOW! But they weren't stopping crime. Look up my criminal record; I've never harmed anyone, nor have I caused any property damage.
Just found the best song to sing at stripperaoke. This will probably go over much better than Lion King songs.
As a tribute to all you in the northeast about to get bitch slapped by Sandy, I made these delicious chocolate chip cookie bowls filled with ice cream. I have no idea why I decided to do that. Just made it up as I was driving home from the office, picked up the ingredients. Boom. So . . . you know.
For the first time in many a weekend. I have free time! I will be in a bar tomorrow. It almost like I'm a grown up. I am going to drink until I can't feel feelings. And hopefully watch Notre Dame win.
Who names a hurricane "Sandy"? I mean, if we're trying to incite respect and take this bitch seriously, shouldn't she go by the more mature "Sandra"? Amirite?
Look at me, I'm Sandra Dee / Lousy with virginity / Won't go to bed 'til I'm legally wed / I can't; I'm Sandra Dee Sandy my darlin', you hurt me real bad. Depends on which part of Grease you like, I reckon.