I woke up to a shitty ass day. When you can see your breath in the house you know the day is not off to a good start. I started sucking down beers at 8:30 this morning. Now I do believe I'm ready to go meet the day. There's a huge storm moving in and there's also the remnants of an old ceder tree in my front yard. I do believe a huge assed fire is in order.
Good thing I had a few shots before work today or else I wouldn't last. I got this question(and mind you they called the support line) "So you have same day shipping. If I order it now, what time will it arrive this afternoon?" The sheer stupidity of that killed more brain cells than a gallon of cheap whiskey.
Ok, I'm at work and my family will be going to the local Christmas parade tonight. This is a small community so this translates to the bar/restaurant being dead tonight, which brings me to why I'm posting in this thread. I'm t-minus 2 1/2 hours from staring in on my first cocktail...screw it I'm gonna go get one now. If I have to be cooped up in this office doing the weeks schedule I might as well be drinking. That way when the servers start complaining about their shifts I'll just tell them that "drunk me" did the schedule.
I turned 21 yesterday, and by the time I got home I couldn't have used the computer even if I wanted to. But I have a bottle of Dewars and some of a bottle of Makers left over, because I have great friends. Woke up and blew a .2 this morning on my birthday present breathalyzer. Got caught trying to make and throw a molotov cocktail off a 20th floor balcony last night. No memory. Had a potential 3-way cockblocked by a fat girl who I tried to set on fire as punishment. Altogether a successful birthday. No heavy drinking tonight though, as I leave for Colorado at 10 tomorrow morning. But I have Vicodin, and please believe I will be that guy drinking before his morning flight, because fuck, I'm allowed to now, and I'm taking full advantage of that.
When I worked IT for a large company (They shall remain nameless, but if you say the name backwords it sounds like "Spu") I had a woman that somehow got a hold of our super secret phone line (They were supposed to call customer service and tech support first) and proceeded to bitch me out because she sent a package overnight ground delivery from Oregon to Texas. I gently explained that no one offers overnight ground and that it would be impossible to ground deliver a package from Oregon to Texas overnight even if we had a bullet train. She then screamed at me for 10 minutes about how I was wrong. It was about that time I lost all faith in humanity.
I'm doing a good deed by clearing space in the fridge. Those beers in there are taking up space. We have a baby on the way, so nesting has become my wife's major priority. So, being a good husband, I'm doing my part by guzzling as many brews as I can. Cleaning is almost tolerable after 10 or so beers. I'm going to try and hide in the basement so I can talk shit on xbox live. Mature, I know.
I'm drinking keystones (fuck you I'm broke) waiting for my friend to get off work so he can celebrate his 30th. Should be fun.
I am drunk. I used to hate brunch, but now I love brunch. How has it taken me so long to realized that brunch is an excuse to drink alcohol with breakfast that girls somehow APPROVE of? There is a 12 pack in my future. Oh yeah, I'm going to a black tie work function later tonight. This should be interesting.
I made me some egg nog tonight. 2 large eggs 3 oz sugar 6 oz milk 4 oz cream 2 oz rum 2 oz brandy nutmeg Makes two servings. Or two mugs for yourself. Whichever. Blend in that order. I would suggest going light on the booze, or at least using good brandy, because I'm finding the recipe has a bit too much icky booze taste, particularly for those of a weak constitution. I just chose something that wasn't Remy Martin because I wasn't going to spend 40 bucks on a bottle. Maybe a mistake.
Here's a question that always bothers me on the internet. I'm English. What the fuck counts as a beer in America? Are you guys casually knocking back 12, 16 pints? The little bottle I'm drinking now is 275ml, if something like that counts as "a beer" then 16 comes to a little less than 8 pints, far less impressive. As an Englishman and a gentleman, I'd correct how many beers I said I'd drunk to pints, to avoid being labelled a nancy or wuss.
A beer is a bottle or can, guv'nor. Just like it is also served in YOUR country. I know you have them because I've been there and enjoyed it greatly, and Iknow full well a lot of people call pints "pints" in England. We get it. People from Europe can out-drink people from the West. Is there any doubt? You have beers that you can roll up and toke over there that cost less than a pack of gum. Powerful stuff. But...we still DRINK, and drink a lot. And we'll fuck you up in most sports.
I've worked harder on my house today than I have all week at work. Now I'm relaxing, drinking Evan Williams, and watching true crime shows with the gf. Not bad. And whomever it was that said Funny People was too long, yes. For fuck's sake, I damn near walked out of that movie...and I watched it at home!
12 oz bottles. And not nancy American bottles of 3.8% beer. I'm Canadian, we drink real beer. I'm not sure if a pint is 16oz or 20oz there, so we either drank 12 or 9.6 pints in just under 3 hours.
Started the day at 7:30, finished moving everything into the new house around 5:30 this afternoon. Now I'm downing a six pack of Killian's Irish Red and saying "yes" whenever my fiance asks me something I catch the end of.
Yes. I do it all the time. I am doing it now. You just have to be able to drink enough of them. I am about to leave to go to some party at this renovated warehouse that some guy owns. Live music and $3 you call its. This girl that a friend knows, who is supposed to be a "socialite" here in Oklahoma City (who knew such a thing could even exist in Oklahoma), invited us and I am hoping for lots of nice, mid 20's pussy. That I won't talk to. I'll probably end up at home later finishing my coors lights alone, watching porn or playing MW2...probably watching porn. Anyway, gotta be optimistic.
I don't live in a stupid state like Utah so my beer has 5.0% or more. Anyone ever try that Sam Adam's Utopia? The beer has 27% ABV. Local liquor store has one bottle from 2008 that they keep telling me to buy.... for $375.