Pretty fuckin' hammered right now. If only Suzie hand't gotten in front of Jamie's good time I would be getting laid right now. Fuck responsible people.
And I'm fucking wasted. I've had some fun tonight. I'm also ghetto, even though I'm white, but this song is fucking tits.
So, if you are drunk and you take off to go get taco bell...and you call you roommates twice while you are gone and then not answer when they call back 4-5 times...don't do that! Fuck! I was sure that my buddy was about to be the third out of four roommates to be arrested for a DUI. Turns out he just wanted to know if I wanted anything from Taco Bell. I am now going to go back to eating my bowl full of red beans and rice and watching Keller Williams.
it's 4 am. poop headed drunk drank a 40 with my friend, he passed out way early shit. i wanna see boobies. i've been sleeping with a chick but she's a terrible kisser. i don't want to kiss her anymore,. just the idea of it makes me want to not have a penis. groosss no more sex for her. in other news. housewarming went well,. much fun to be had. lots of peoplem i haven't seen in a long long time., boo.
im late in the game but i'll give you a hard cock in the vagina. but only if you ask really, really nice for it.
Easy.....pay attention to the uglier girl in the group. Intentionally avoid the girl you want to hook up with. This will intrigue her as to why you are not giving her the attention she is used to. However breaking into the bachelorette party circle is not easy and many better men before you have failed.
Holy hangover Batman. What a great night. I topped it off by waking up to six Dominos pizza boxes. Apparently, my friends and I had the drunk munchies.
I'll be damned if I didn't earn my beers for today. Just pressure washed the shit out of my deck. Unfortunately theres only 3 beers left and I am waaaay too lazy to go to the LC.
I wish I had a hangover. Instead, I have a nice fever and am slightly delirious. Took pills earlier, made me go to sleep. Woke up again, still feel like I've been hit by a train that reversed over me to make sure it didn't miss, still better than earlier though. Can't focus on anything but the ceiling. This SUCKS. It's a long weekend here too. Fucking security gate is busted again and someone's car got stolen. Dealing with police at 7am while feeling like death isn't fun. Basically, FML.
If a girl at a bachelorette party leaves the group to go get laid then she is labeled a shitty friend for deserting her friend on her very special night. So here is what you do, but it takes some patience. You find a group that has some lame but fun scavenger hunt lists and be the guy who serenades them, gives them your boxers, etc. Then you play the nice guy and talk them up a little bit. Then if there is one that you are interested in, you ask for her number so you can call her and maybe hook up at a different time since you want to get to know her better but don't want to interfere with her night out with her friends. Like I said, involves patience and I think that isn't exactly what you are looking for....but that is my best advice.
I see a strong parallel here with the multitudes of ova that are released from the ovaries. Only one is fertile but there's a whole bunch surrounding it weeding out sperm cells that aren't worthy. Also, perhaps an adapted group evolutionary instinct to keep unfit mates like you away from her divine genes.