Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Weekend Drunk Thread, 5/17

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, May 17, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. TX.

    TX.
    Expand Collapse
    The Mad Pooper

    Reputation:
    421
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,724
    Location:
    With Waylon, Willie and the boys
    Call me crazy, but I think if I lived in Moore I'd move. That town has a bad track record with tornadoes.
     
  2. ODEN

    ODEN
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    152
    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2009
    Messages:
    1,357
  3. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
    Expand Collapse
    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

    Reputation:
    1,080
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13,451
    Wonder if it's a coincidence that it gets hit moore often than other places?

    Though I think residents won't have a choice but to move now -- there's not really a "town" left, so to speak.
     
  4. TX.

    TX.
    Expand Collapse
    The Mad Pooper

    Reputation:
    421
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,724
    Location:
    With Waylon, Willie and the boys
    Norman is only a few miles away and doesn't get hit nearly as often. Residents claim that something about the physical geography directs tornadoes north to Moore or south to the middle of nowhere.

    One of my friends rode it out in a hospital cafeteria... Super glad she's ok.
     
  5. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
    Expand Collapse
    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

    Reputation:
    1,080
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13,451
    I wonder how many meth labs got destroyed?
     
  6. joule_thief

    joule_thief
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    62
    Joined:
    Mar 1, 2010
    Messages:
    611
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    I've been to Moore before. It's almost unreal how much destruction happened there.

    There's a liquor store in Moore that always puts funny shit on their marquee: <a class="postlink" href="https://www.facebook.com/MooreLiquorMarquee?fref=ts" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">https://www.facebook.com/MooreLiquorMarquee?fref=ts</a>
     
  7. downndirty

    downndirty
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    501
    Joined:
    Nov 18, 2009
    Messages:
    4,597
    Tall girls, short girls, who gives a damn. Christ, you boys are picky. Variety is the spice of life, isn't it?

    Detective Girlfriend is 5'7" I think. The only measurement I'm sure about is her bra size, because it has gone from 44DD when we met to a measly C cup now. The further into Crossfit and Pinterest she gets, the smaller her boobs are, which makes me cry and want to have whiskey and cereal from one of her old bras. It gives me sad balls.

    In other news, Time magazine thinks that if pot is legal, you will spend $653 on it...in a year. <a class="postlink" href="http://business.time.com/2013/05/20/how-much-will-a-legal-marijuana-habit-cost-you/?xid=rss" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://business.time.com/2013/05/20/how ... u/?xid=rss</a> opstories&utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=feed&utm_campaign=Feed%3A+time%2Ftopstories+%28TIME%3A+Top+Stories%29

    That has to be the most retarded statistic I have yet heard. I know I would spend about $500 on a vaporizer and a sampler set just to get started, within the first month. If pot were legal (and the ensuing drug test restrictions and negative legal complications also removed magically), I would imagine my pot budget to be about $120/month, or about $30 a week. Since it's illegal, I just spend that money on steak.
     
  8. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
    Expand Collapse
    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

    Reputation:
    1,080
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13,451
    Rough week for OKC Thunder fans. First their team almost gets swept, then their city literally gets swept.
     
  9. Gravy

    Gravy
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    256
    Joined:
    Feb 25, 2012
    Messages:
    1,715
    Location:
    The void.
    I feel for Oklahoma, but they need to get their shit together and build some fucking shelters inside of schools. Same with Kansas I suppose. My schools disaster plans are laughable. Of course we can't afford math textbooks, so adequate emergency shelter is probably out of the equation.
     
  10. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
    Expand Collapse
    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

    Reputation:
    1,080
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13,451
    Just killed a 1 foot snake with a 12 gauge shotgun.

    Then I pissed on it. Because fuck nature.

    ... That's not overkill right?
     
  11. Angel_1756

    Angel_1756
    Expand Collapse
    The Big Four-Oh

    Reputation:
    380
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    3,909
    Location:
    The T-dot O-dot one-of-a-kind
    I'm quite sure there's an analogy here, but I can't quite put my finger on it...

    I talked myself into having leftover jello shots for dinner tonight. I thought there were only 8 or 10 left in the fridge. There were 25. I feel unwell and I can't feel my feet.
     
  12. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Did I just shit myself?

    Reputation:
    730
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,551

    Over kill of your a girl. You could just bite them like Dixiebandit. Unfortunately, fortunately for the animals, I live in a suburban neighborhood. If I lived in a rural area where neighbors weren't close enough to care all sort of critters would be target practice.
     
  13. D26

    D26
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    110
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,305
    My mother in law has now called 3 times and every time she sounds more and more freaked out. The most recent time she was losing it because my wife isn't home from work yet and "the storms and hail are going to start any minute! How is she not home yet!"

    Oh, and then she woke my daughter, and I wanted to reach through the phone and tell her to calm the fuck down and if she calls the house phone again I'm going to fucking lose it.

    I checked the radar and looked at the forecasts. No rain will even start here for another 3 hours, and it has gone from "severe thunderstorms" to "heavy rain." In other words, they've actually kind of downgraded the coming storms. No warnings, no watches, no severe weather alerts of any kind. If something bad is coming, we have at least a severe thunderstorm watch in place by now.

    Today? Nothing.

    She is still acting like a tornado is on the way for her specifically, and she is going to call us every hour to make sure we're alive. Never mind that I have to work in the morning. Never mind that she keeps waking the kid. Fuck that. She is freaked out, so everyone she knows is going to be fucking miserable.
     
  14. Revengeofthenerds

    Revengeofthenerds
    Expand Collapse
    ER Frequent Flyer Platinum Member

    Reputation:
    1,080
    Joined:
    Feb 26, 2011
    Messages:
    13,451
  15. bewildered

    bewildered
    Expand Collapse
    Deeply satisfied pooper

    Reputation:
    1,320
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    11,263
    My mom went into the O'Rielly's 10 minutes after I left. Talking to 3 employees, two of which I spoke to:

    "Did you just talk to a girl here asking about air conditioning or a windshield wiper fluid dispenser motor?"
    Nope.
    "I mean, woman?"
    Nope.
    "Pink shorts?"
    Dude who I didn't even speak with perks up. Yeah, she was here!
    "Blue top?"
    No idea. She had pink shorts on though.

    Glad to know I leave an impression on people. All I can think of is Booty Booty Booty Rockin all Around. Because Yes.
     
  16. happyfunball

    happyfunball
    Expand Collapse
    overly defenCive stuffed cougar

    Reputation:
    46
    Joined:
    Nov 6, 2009
    Messages:
    2,113
    Pinterest? I get the Crossfit affecting her cup size, but Pinterest?

    Was your reaction something like this:
    [​IMG]

    I think I've mentioned before how I'm traumatized by saggy boobs after showering with all the old ladies after teaching my water aerobics class. It's right up there with the time I was bending over to put something in my locker as a lady was getting up from the bench naked and farted right in my face. I told my boss I wanted hazard pay after that. She did NOT find that as funny as I did.

    And just because--while I was searching for a saggy boob gif (sad I know) I found this equally disturbing:
     
    #336 happyfunball, May 21, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  17. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Did I just shit myself?

    Reputation:
    730
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,551

    Now that's just a fetish waiting to happen.
     
    #337 Kubla Kahn, May 21, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  18. bewildered

    bewildered
    Expand Collapse
    Deeply satisfied pooper

    Reputation:
    1,320
    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2009
    Messages:
    11,263
    It makes me so sad when I see maimed boobs from elective surgery.
     
  19. Kubla Kahn

    Kubla Kahn
    Expand Collapse
    Did I just shit myself?

    Reputation:
    730
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    11,551

    Listen Dixie likes the black line of pregnant girl's belly and I happen to like the anchor shaped scars of a breast reduction. WHY MUST YOU JUDGE?
     
  20. dixiebandit69

    dixiebandit69
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    873
    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2009
    Messages:
    4,403
    Location:
    The asshole of Texas
    Huh, I step out for a week, and suddenly I'm a topic of conversation.

    So, about pregnant women: it entirely depends on the woman. Some can pull the look off, others can't. Same thing with plus-size women.

    GOTCHA! You thought this was going to be a pregnant woman, didn't you?
    [​IMG]


    Oh, and Revengeofthenerds, you are a total puss-ass. Seriously, a shotgun? Even if that was a newborn Western Diamondback (which are over a foot long when they are born [born, not hatched]), you could have killed that with your foot.

    In other news, my dad bought himself a new truck last week, a 2013 F150 with the following specs:

    Regular cab/long bed, 2WD
    5.0L V8
    6R80 6-speed auto transmission (the only one available... Sigh.)
    3.55:1 axle with limited slip differential

    I helped him get bids from all the dealers in a 40-mile radius; we were trying to get it with the new 6.2L V8, but that's only available with the Ford Raptor (a package that costs about $10,000 more than what he paid for his plain-Jane XLT).
    I got to drive it a few days ago, and wasn't expecting much, but I'll be dipped in shit if that little V8 doesn't have a serious pair of balls on it: When I launched it, I was able to leave two 30' long tracks!
    It can burn rubber from a rolling start (about 20 mph), and will rev up to 7,000 rpm with no problems.
    I think this thing might be faster than my Trans Am; I'll need to do some "testing" in the near future...
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.