Servers, in general, get treated like garbage BY garbage. Bartenders get fingers snapped or empty glasses of ice shaken at them for attention and get called "Sweety" or "Chief". Waitresses get sexually harassed and constantly hassled for trivial bullshit. And the assholes who do it....they do it just because. I don't get why people get off at making a person's job more miserable than it already is. We already call it "work" for a reason, shit-for-brains. Why don't you go beat up your kids or something to make you feel big?
In 2012 I flew on enough airplanes that, had someone been able to collect all of the radiation I was exposed to, I'm sure I would have been good for at least a few decent x-rays, if not a full CT scan. And let me tell you - being sober on an airplane should be illegal. It's bad travelling mojo. All the worst flights I've ever had have been sober. Just say no to sobriety.
I honestly forgot that I was 25 and super legal to drink on planes. What did I think I was going to do, read? Reading is for babies! Very smart babies.
Regarding server pay, from <a class="postlink" href="http://www.dol.gov/whd/minwage/q-a.htm" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.dol.gov/whd/minwage/q-a.htm</a> "What is the minimum wage for workers who receive tips? An employer may pay a tipped employee not less than $2.13 an hour in direct wages if that amount plus the tips received equal at least the federal minimum wage, the employee retains all tips and the employee customarily and regularly receives more than $30 a month in tips. If an employee's tips combined with the employer's direct wages of at least $2.13 an hour do not equal the federal minimum hourly wage, the employer must make up the difference." (Emphasis added) Just an informational heads up. They do make minimum wage, in the sense that they will not make less than the federal (or state if higher) hourly rate regardless of tips. However, the first ~$5.50 in tips per hour essentially counts against it.
This is one of those 'kind of but not really' sorts of situations. Most restaurant managers are dicks who will make sure you don't get this. Tip your servers! Not your bartenders in Oregon though. $9/hr is more than enough to look hot and give you scotch.
I hereby give title to the song "Home" by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeroes officially as the Hipster And Filthy Bearded Hippie Anthem Of All Time. If you like that song, too bad. That is what it is.
When I worked as a cook there was only one time I fucked with anyone's food. Usually I was the one to flip my shit if anyone tried to mess with anyone's food, because there is no reason to be a dick just because you've had a bad day and someone looked at you funny. One day we had a banquet that ordered off the menu and they all ordered Mexican food. There were about 25-30 meals. No problem. Except that I knew beforehand exactly who this banquet was for. Fucking Aryan Nations Nazis. (This was late '80's north Idaho when we had Nazi's hiding behind every tree in the forest.) Well, someone had accidentally ordered 4 jars of ultra hot peppers right after this banquet was booked. It was time for me to put them to use. I proceeded to create Mexican dishes that were about as subtle as a kick to the balls. Every single one had 2-3 bites taken out of it before the diner decided they were finished. My boss bitched at me the next day and I simply told him if we needed business that bad perhaps I should start looking for another job. We never booked another Nazi banquet. Because fuck those racist inbred bastards.
Man, I only rarely fantasize about a specific person when I masturbate, but whenever I do I always get really nervous afterwards that that person knows somehow. Ballsack, were your ears just ringing or something?
As a teenager, my brother and I worked in the kitchen at a local steakhouse and were firmly against fucking with any food. The problem with this particular establishment was that it was co-owned by Tommy Lasorda and he was a massive asshole and everyone he brought with him shared that behavior. They came in one night and shit immediately hit the fan. Two of every appetizer was immediately ordered, some of our best servers were reduced to tears just in taking the drink/app order, and our bartender, the nicest guy you could ever meet, got assaulted behind the bar after one of Lasorda's entourage decided he didn't like him. That was just in the first 20 minutes or so. This happened every time this asshole came in. At some point, enough is enough. All of you that have been into a restaurants kitchen knows just how disgusting the floors are. Well, every piece of meat that came off of that grill "accidentally" hit the deck, as well as all of the fries, chicken tenders, potato skins, ect. I vividly remember taking a chicken breast right off the grill, dropping it on the floor, stepping on it, and putting it right into Tommy's salad.
What year was this? Tommy's got one foot in the grave and I have met him a few times and he seems like a awesome old guy, hard time believing an 80 year old rolls deep with guys who throw down with bartenders.
I didn't mind the song until I saw the live version on Letterman- at which point I was yelling at my screen "YOU DO NOT NEED THAT MANY PEOPLE TO MAKE THESE SOUNDS HOLY SHIT GET YOUR ENTIRE EXTENDED FAMILY OFF THE STAGE"
I'm with Juice on the 20% or none, with the odd fuck-you-$2 tip for the rare server that goes out of their way to show just how many fucks they don't give (or a bit extra for the one I accidentally shot in the neck with a straw). If the service on the front end is a bit slow, I'll make note of how much time I see the server moving around and dealing with other tables. I won't stiff someone for being busy, but I've worked in enough kitchens to know just how much time most servers spend flapping their gums in the back while their tables' food marinates under a heat lamp. Off-hand, I think the worst treatment I ever gave a server was as a fellow employee. I was 16 and working my first job where the kitchen staff all played the game from Waiting. After a long night of brains and batwings, my ass was sore and I was pissed. Being an asshole of a 16-year-old, I went into the narrow walk-in, stepped up on the rack opposite the door, and readied a Goat. Except instead of a fellow cook, the victim of my hairy, brownholed wrath was a 18 year old princess of a server, who promptly screamed and ran off, presumably to the bathroom where she could retch violently and make a note to seek a therapist. Sometimes I still think I'm getting karma for that one. On a related note to the last few pages, if anyone has a BD's Mongolian grill nearby, check it out. You fill up a bowl with your choice of raw stirfry ingredients, hand it all to a cook, and watch them cook it on a large, round flattop grill. No spit risk or heat lamp crap to deal with.
I think I mentioned this on here once before. Supposedly, my grandfather (who died before I was born) would place a stack of ones on the table at the beginning of the meal, which would have totalled a generous tip. Every time the server did or said something he didn't like, he'd take one away. Whatever was left, they got as the tip. I thought the guy in the dress with the jingle bells was pretty funny. And, I'm going to put the over/under on the Jesus singer - # of times hair has been washed this year at 3.5.
You should tip your waitresses. There are a lot of Magnetic Zeroes. I like that song though. I am excited to get an XBox360 for cheaper now. One generation behind. Have a good day.
While I can't be sure, I have a hunch that leaving substandard tips (rather than no tip) isn't communicating the message you want. They probably just assume you're a stingy asshole. While you probably don't care, more could probably be accomplished by writing something like "no tip because you did a shitty job" on the check. Is it just me or does Edward Sharp have crazy serial killer eyes? Also, this is the same guy. And no, that doesn't make sense to me either: