Being sick is great. I went to sleep at 11 and woke up at 4. Woke up because I basically choked because I couldn't breath through my nose again. Zicam apparently only works like 6 hours for me. Looks like I'll be awake in time to watch Monaco Quals.
Also, fuck hole-in-the-ground toilets. I went to use a Korean portashitter one time as it was my only option, I look in and there is nothing but a hole leading to the bottom of the portashitter chamber, and no toilet paper. Fortunately this was at work and I keep TP in my bag since uncle sam doesn't always have the money to refill the bathrooms. As soon as I enter I look up and to my horror see a spider infestation, there were easily a hundred of them and Korean spiders aren't small. Unfortunately I really had to shit and I wasn't going to make it to another bathroom and dropping trow out in the middle of an airfield wasn't exactly an option. I've never pushed so hard in my life, I was determined to make that experience last as short as possible. Of course the combination of my poor squat-shit form coupled with my urgency caused me to tip back, my ass kind of fell into the hole but the hole was pretty small so I wasn't stuck in it, but I did now have shit on my butt cheeks from where other people missed. Oh and my head slamming against the back of the stall wall was enough to startle some of the spiders to jump down from the top of the portashitter onto me. The spiders raining down basically caused me to shit myself though and fortunately since my ass was partially enveloped in the shit hole at least it just went were it should. I scrambled to get the fuck out and ran into the open with my pants still down without having wiped, didn't care, I wasn't spending a second longer in that hell-hole and fortunately no one was around to witness my suffering or I would have never heard the end of it. I just went to the most concealed location I could find and cleaned up best I could, ran home, took a shower and changed before anyone noticed I was gone somehow.
They're being nostalgic. I posted a link that lead to a semi-working RMMB archive that Rob4Broncos posted on here years ago and everyone missed. So all of a sudden when just a day ago when we're talking about how all that funny shit disappeared when Rudius shut down.... Is semi-back. They're reminiscing about the "How Do You Wipe Your Ass?" Thread... or re-starting old heated debates, I dunno. I do know I wouldn't mind seeing some good old-fashioned BATTLE for old times sake, though. All I know is when I tried to open the Joey Porsche thread it didn't work. At least I finally got read John Fitzgerald Page And North America should look into bidets.
I think he might have been asking if it was a real thing that the people who wipe sitting down get shit on themselves on a regular basis. Which is an odd sort of question if you put far too much time and effort thinking about it. Do all of the standers believe they are the only ones who have figured out how to wipe without covering themselves in shit? And vice versa? Because if that's the case, how do you all leave your homes in the morning believing that half the population of the world has feces dripping down their legs, crusted to their genitals, and dried under their fingernails?
I don't know....we swollow a whole shitload of spiders in our sleep throughout our lifetimes too. Much like with what you just said in regards to feces, the idea is to not think of the fact a hairy eight-legged arachnid with his dozen or so scary insectoid-eyes marched straight down your throat and the two of you became one. And sorry for not reading the other post right. It was a non-sleep kind of night.
I've heard two great quotes from friends of mine in the past three weeks, so I thought I'd share. "Love is living with someone who loathes you, but you're ok with it." "You know, hating someone must be so fulfilling." And yes, my friends are questionable.
Hey, don't steal my line! You're questionable friends aren't even close to be in the same league as mine.
Other than those of you who shared in these threads, I have no idea how anybody else wipes, retarded or not. And I'm okay with that.
No! No, fucker! Clearly how you wipe tells us what kind of person you are! It is the ONLY thing in this world that matters! If everyone wiped "properly" there would be no war, no hunger, no problems at all! We could all live in harmony, properly wiping! Don't you see!? How you wipe tells us if you are worthy of life! It is the single most important marker of personality and intelligence that has ever and will ever exist! Don't you dare fucking demean that! You only say that because you do it WRONG! Die in a fire you fucking wrong-wiper! Wrong-wiper should be the new ultimate insult. Fucker? Weak. Cunt? Get out of here with that tired shit. You are a Wrong-Wiper! The worst insult EVER!
Questionable is such a great word to use when you want to compact a broad lie to cover up shameful shenanigans. There are other words and terms that can be used, for example: "I've been banned from (so-and-so) ever since the incident." "I'm going to the clinic to have that thing looked at." "We're partying later."
I just found out that the boyfriend's last semester of high school, he had a co-op, a spare and a peer tutor credit for com tech. Jesus Christ. I was such a sucker, taking all three sciences and calculus.
How do parents survive not sleeping? I've slept 10 hours over the last three days because of my dam sinus infection and I'm ready to kill myself. I can't imagine having a kid and doing this for months. If I see dawn again tomorrow I'm going to be so pissed. No one should see that shit three days in a row unless they're camping, in the military, or work the first shift.
I have a kid, and I just woke up from a nice 1 1/2 hour nap. The kid is still out, as she usually takes a solid 2 to 3 hour nap every day. We sleep when they do, to keep our sanity. Then again, that is me. I need sleep, or I turn into the biggest raging asshole on the planet. My wife seems to be okay getting by on 6 hours a night, and I don't know how she hasn't murdered anyone yet.
Dear 40-50 year old woman of Scottsdale , let me thank you first for keeping it totally shaved, for the tremendous boob job, and the great care with which you chose you clothing, you have held up fairly well for your age. However, you can not sit in a chair with your vagina fully exposed and legs uncrossed in a crowded bar, especially when said vagina is directly in front of my beer box, you accomplished two firsts so I appreciate the effort. The first thing you did was allow the nice girl I work with to see an upclose real life vagina, that was not hers, I had only seen her make that face one other time when a drunk dude puked on her shoes. The second thing you did was make me say something I never dreamed I would say to an attractive woman, "Um, excuse me ma'am, you are going to have to pull your skirt down, I can clearly see your vagina."
From 1:40 onward, this is the best part of my day. The boyfriend and I *may* have spent the last five minutes doing the Jump On It dance (not a euphemism).