The saddest part is that the monkey dancing/ sucking dick for nickels is actually relevant. Look at all the people posting their opinions . Somehow they feel invested in this whole mess. I could give a blue fuck if she gave birth to an alien. If we ignored her she'd go away.
In a perfect world they would procreate and cause a rip in the time/space continuum and make volcanoes spontaneously erupt and the Earth explode. Until that happens, I will continue not to give a fuck about either of them.
I was wrong. I didn't break it, but dislocated it and shredded the tendons on both sides. I was setting a heavy box on a work bench, and when I slammed it down the table recoiled and sent the box bouncing back, snapping my thumb. The doctor refused to relocate it so I did it the old-fashioned Martin Riggs way when he left the room. It did NOT feel like walking on sunshine, and he was not happy about my action. I know you're not supposed to do it, but it cut the pain in half after I did it even though I the shock pain from doing it made my crack up with laughter (nervous habit).
What the fuck was he going to do if he refused to relocate it? I've spent this morning and all day yesterday going over the things I said and discussed at the girlfriend's law firm's party the other night. Some people thought I was hilarious (they shouldn't have told me this) but I'm worried that a few were put off by what I said. However, I will get a chance a redemption on Friday night, as I must once again accompany the girlfriend to two different firm parties, which will probably suck. The girlfriend said nothing about my behavior other than I did well so I assume she is being honest with me and that I didn't fuck anything up for her. Am I the only one who desperately wants to hear the details about this audreymonroe/pussy galore Atlanta weekend?
Beats me. Does it "go back in" on it's own? Apparently people in the medical field aren't supposed to just pop dislocations back into place anymore. I don't know a heck of a lot about medicine, but I know something about that doesn't sound right. And there was NO WAY that I was walking around with my thumb nearly touching my wrist. It was grotesque looking.
I pretty much did the same thing with my right pinky finger. (Not the same as a thumb, I realize.) I'm not sure how I did it, but it was during the GoRuck Challenge I did over Mardi Gras. I looked down at my hand and noticed my pinky was sticking out at about a 45 degree angle. I just whipped my hand down and it popped back into place. My knuckle is still about 50% bigger than the other one, so I figure I'll start feeling that when it rains in a few years.
No matter what finger it hurts, whether you break it, sprain it, dislocate it or even jam/pull it, it hurts like a fucking bitch and the pain can stay for literally YEARS because of how they are constantly in use and in motion. Not to mention the legions of small bones you have in your hands. It's such a small thing but so you feel like a bit of a wuss, but GODDAMN. This is my first time hurting my thumb and it sucks, I now realize how dependent on it I was and it's on my favoured (right) hand. I am starting to think IWantSomeJuice wasn't even being sarcastic when he called me Eric Draven. All I have left to do is get shot and struck by lightning and I get my free drink at SkyBar.
Painkillers are kickin in. Whoooooooosh Everybody drop what what you're doing and watch this. You can never, EVER associate "Miss America Pageant" and "Scholarship" again. Ever. I know she's from Utah, but how can retards this big not only exist but go on to represent their entire State? I know for a fact Utah is packed full of neck-breaking beautiful women, there has to be at least one in that state that doesn't have the brain of an odour-eater, right?
Fuck that. When I dislocated my shoulder I'd have killed the doctor with my one good hand had he told me he wasn't putting it back in. Or maybe not, because he didn't come in until after the Demerol was flowing freely, at which point I loved everything in the world. That's still absolutely retarded and makes no sense. What was he going to do, refer you for a week-later appointment with a "Thumb A goes into Socket B" specialist?
I think he was a doctor. He may not have been, they all wear those gay-looking paisley scrubs nowadays and he didn't introduce himself as a Doctor. Maybe he had to examine the X-rays again before putting it back in, I don't know. What I do know is I was feeling like throwing him out the fourth floor window when he told me that, so when he left the room I put my thumb on the edge of a tray table and leaned on it. *click*. It reeeeeeeally hurt but it hurt a lot less a minute later. Hell, he could have been some pervert dressed up like a doctor feeling up patients room-to-room. Just let that sink in for a second.
Damn, there's some intelligent discourse going on in the video game thread. Is this where I come for the depravity?
I just read the past few pages and....huh? I thought you were supposed to argue about who would win in a fight between Sonic and sunflower-powered Mario in that thread. People are throwing around two dollar words in there like they're auditioning for the part of "The Architect" in The Matrix Reloaded. EDIT: Noland, have faith in the drunk thread for depravity. I sure we can soon bring up the finer aspects of amputee and/or feeder porn, tutorials of coat hanger abortion-technique and discussions of proper date-rape etiquette.
Pfft...coat hangers. Grab a tube of mentos and a two liter bottle of diet coke. Toss 'em in, hop on, and enjoy the ride.