Weekend Drunk Thread, 6/14

It's not scissoring, but there's this chick. She was Miss Nevada. Briefly.

NSFW

 

Yup.

Ya know... we're not all inbred hillbillies like you see describing the sound that the tornado made when it went through the trailer park.

 

It's hilarious how they banish these girls from the contests the second they catch them acting like normal human beings. There was this Miss Canada champion from the 90's, Danielle House. She was stripped of her crown because she was in a bar fight. BIG FUCKING DEAL. Nobody in the country except the pageant committee themselves thought she should be shunned, but they did it anyway. Such moronic busybodies.

Everybody knows that being a beauty pageant contestant are about one thing and one thing only: the thrill and honour of being raped by a professional athlete.

 

Right. And everyone from Canada isn't a pot smoking, hyperbolic, DJ.

 

Forgive me to make a joke. Mississippi is the poorest and least educated state in the USA. Fact. What makes it offside to crack a JOKE about it yet any other state is open season.

Or are we just lot allowed to have fun at all in here anymore? Is anything allowed to be joked about or this this new prude attitude what's cool now?

 

I was acquaintances with a girl who was Miss America several years ago. She was pretty nice and cool back then, but shit changed. She's never worked a day in her life, married one
of her state-level judges and pops out kids who fly in first class wherever they go. She was the epitome of the Facebook humble braggart, and I unfriended her a while ago. Funny thing is that she's cute, but her full-on makeup and Cache wardrobe have always made her look about 6 years older than she really is.

 

They should honestly have an au natural portion of the contest. At least you'll see their actual face.

 

Yeah...she looked like a different girl without her mask on.

 

So, if you make fun of Mississippi, low hanging fruit there, Crown, and someone, in turn, makes fun of you, then we're being prudes?

Get over yourself, Crown.

 

Don't deny that's been a point of attitude lately, I wasn't the first to mention it.

 

Today I found out I live about a dozen blocks away from a former Nazi commander. What a nice surprise.

Probably not gonna take my dog around that part of the neighborhood on our run today!

 

He's still there? Maybe you could befriend him Apt Pupil-style. Or not.

 

He's 94 years old. The old man should be more afraid of your dog than the other way round.

 

The puppy was raised Jewish.

 

In that case, where do you find kosher dog food?

How old was he for his bark mitzvah?

Etc.

 

They only tell him it's kosher. And his bark mitzvah will be at approximately 2 years of age.

 

And down the rabbit hole we go!





This guy looks pissed, though:

 

Do you really get as much cash and loot at a mitzfah as pop culture lets on? They seem like gigantic glorified birthday parties crossed with the weird ritual of a debutante ball.

 

This has now become the "ask a Jew" thread.

And to answer your question about the money...it really depends on your family. And how many people you have present. I think I got something like 5 grand. I've heard of some kids getting somewhere in the neighborhood of 20-30 grand.