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Weekend Drunk Thread, 6/14

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jun 14, 2013.

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  1. CharlesJohnson

    CharlesJohnson
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    Yeah, but that was the best game of "7 minutes of heaven" in a church rectory closet ever.

    Heh. Rectory.
     
  2. xrayvision

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    I mean I'm not complaining about 5k. But everyone you invite gives a gift. And the guest lists tend to be large. It doesn't really make much sense to me why this tradition even exists. You're 13 and Jewish. Woohoo.

    The celebration is more for the parents than the kids. It's a way to demonstrate social status and how well you plan a party. It's obvious when people invest more in the party than someone else. I think it's stupid.
     
  3. Kubla Kahn

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    5k? I got 1500 total in graduation money from high school. I think I blew a significant portion on drugs at Bonnaroo. If I got 5k when I was 13 I don't think any of it would have made it to a big purchase like a car.......
     
  4. Candles

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    So, I just met my ex for a coffee, and got introduced to his fiancee. MY FEELS. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING.
     
  5. Crown Royal

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    If what you are saying is true, that is incredibly fucking shallow and selfish. It reminds me of those Chinese people (only a billion or so, not all two billion) like to forsake their child's future plans for romance in favour of their own financial gain.

    Oh, those crazy foreigners.

    Off topic: Okay, if they bring Friends back for another season than TV has to kill itself and start from the beginning. The. Show. Is. OVER. Years ago, in fact, how hard is that for people with no lives to accept?. Every character on Friends fucked every other character, including that pet monkey and in the end they ended up right where we all knew they would with no suprises.

    You are not a cast member, you do not hang out with them except in your childish fantasies. Why would you want to? Joey was the only awesome one.
     
  6. TX.

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    That's awkward.

    I'm tired. My day was pretty nonstop from 5:45 to 4:30 with a 25 minute lunch break. It was also the best day I've had here so far. The highlight was getting to observe a total hip replacement. The highlight of the highlight was blood splattering all over our face shields. I was baptized by alphabet blood. Hip replacement, fuck yeah!
     
  7. Kampf Trinker

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    5k for being a man child that's barely old enough to realize what his penis is for? Damn, at that age I was lucky to get $200 for Christmas. If I was given 5k it probably would have been stuffed into a bank account I couldn't touch until I was 18.
     
  8. xrayvision

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    I'm painting it in a pretty bad light. But the people that truly care about the status thing are stuck in a bubble of sorts. They might be part of a wealthier congregation in an expensive part of town. Lets call it Boca Raton. They feel that they have a reputation to uphold. And the gossipy nature of older Jewish ladies is second to none. They don't want to be the one who gets talked about. The men could care less.
     
  9. Angel_1756

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    Re: Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, 6/14

    I'm pretty sure this is the cue to puke in his bathtub. That's how it's done, right?
     
  10. Juice

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    Did you guys lez it out at least?
     
  11. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Should have taken a tip from Chellie's recent hobby: making boyfriends brag to their buddies for the rest of their life.
     
  12. Candles

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    Re: Re: Weekend Drunk Thread, 6/14

    Unfortunately there was only a standing shower in the vicinity.
     
  13. Angel_1756

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    Je.Sus.Christ.
    An 8 month boner. Christ on a cracker. There's just... I have no... I mean... Wow.
     
  14. Juice

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    8 months.......

    ( )( )===============D


    Ouch.
     
  15. toddamus

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    Seriously, how insecure must you be, how small must you be, to actually get a surgical implant.
     
  16. Crown Royal

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    Agreed. And then we have Michael Coluzzi of Burlington, New Jersey. You see, Michael Coluzzi bought penis-enlargement pills and decided to file a lawsuit against the company when they didn't magically increase the size of his wang.

    What I would personally tell Michael Coluzzi is this: "Michael Coluzzi, when you file a lawsuit it goes instantly into public record and now everybody knows that you, Michael Coluzzi, have a shameful and insecure secret.
     
  17. Pow

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    The best part is that it's an implant. You can't be all "Ya it's my dick and I'm proud, I'm just in the middle of a 8 month boner, pretend it's not there" - because you paid a doctor to give you a new dick because you were self conscious about your real one. Small dick to robo dick in eight quick months!
     
  18. CharlesJohnson

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    I thought about getting an implant to double my size. But who wants to have a 26 inch cock?

    Pretty sure the latest cock implant technology was created by the team that launched Reebok Pump.

    Doesn't it bother anyone the dick pump is probably made from child slave labor in Bangladesh? How reliable are these things?

    There are procedures to inject your own fat into your dick to plump it up. So someone saw how flattering Duck Lips were and said "Hey, you know what? That'd look pretty good in my penis."

    The 8 Month Boner. Someone missed their chance to star in the best travelogue porn ever. It'd be like Eat, Pray, Love but with more STIs and crying anal.

    *drops mic*
     
  19. Revengeofthenerds

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    Over/under on how many weeks until this guy gets offered a porn contract?
     
  20. caseykasem

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    Depends on the size of the new implant.

    A case like that sure would make jury duty more tolerable. Just imagine his testimony.
     
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