So today I finally did some work on my own car, instead of working on other peoples'. I changed the spark plugs, distributor cap and rotor on my car, and I must say there was a noticeable difference... What was that difference worth? About 50 feet of burnt rubber when I tried it out! (That's my car in the background)
Someone better grab someone else's boobs on that drive or I'm going to be highly disappointed. Nothing is more natural then a girl being curious about another girl. Especially boobs. "Are my friend's boobs as perky as they look? Are they firm? Oh! They're quite pleasant! I think I enjoy this! Oh look! A pizza boy! Yay!" Excuse me for a few minutes....
Well there was a lot of grabbing. After all, it was a lesbian bar and my friend paid good money for those tits. Alas, grabby drunk friend is a week married, so I deposited her at her husband's home (long story, but they don't live together), and expensive tits friend and I are on our (separate) ways home.
The problem with TheChive is that masturbating at work is frowned upon...: Sun's out, buns out photoset. Basically bikinis + hump day = win
So, I'm in Calgary (like Uno- glad to hear you're safe). Our devastation has been largely ignored on here with a few exceptions. My stunning, beautiful, clean city, with over a million people and rivers of blue that you can fish out of, has been destroyed like nothing we have ever seen. I am untouched physically by these floods because I'm on high ground. Our downtown is wiped out. Many communities around me are beyond fucked. Sadly, I know dozens of people evacuated from their homes and many more that won't have a job for a long time, considering their place of business is underwater. The towns and small cities close to us, including the scenic Rocky Mountain town of Canmore, are forever changed. There are more to get hit in this province in the following days. But, BUT, there is beauty in this carnage. NO looting, NO crime. Just people opening their homes and heart and time to help. Aaaaand, everybody hugged and got drunk. (ok, I worked and got ppl. drunk, but I've got a decent buzz on now). I'm not going to clog up this thread with pics and really can't find the ability to link right now, but if you care to, I'm sure your google-fu will show you the damage. For any hockey fans out there, the Saddledome (home of the '88 Olympics for non-hockey people) has water up to the 14-21 row, depending on who you talk to. Pretty sure the Calgary Stampede isn't a go in 2 weeks, regardless of what the dumbass mayor has to say. The entire landscape they use is gone. I think our citizens care more about getting our neighbours and businesses up and going. Sorry 101 years of Stampede, but we have shit to do and you aren't it. See you in 2014.
After my trip to Canada, I did quickly conclude that Canadians (with a few exceptions of some degenerate idiots on this board) are better people than Americans. I hope things get better up there quickly!
Driving to the beach, I just passed a guy on a bike moped. He has a milk crate screwed to its front. In the crate are two bichon fries dogs. Both dogs have goggles and flying ace scarves on. Rural Ontario, folks.
I have a headache. Either I'm getting sick or I'm hungover. I haven't decided which is worse, since getting sick sucks, but if I'm hungover it means I'm hungover from a whopping total of three beers from last night, which is terrible. Either way, I just cracked open my first for the day. Beer cures hangovers and the cold, right?
Word of caution if you are interested in skydiving, it jacks the shit out of your adrenaline, I feel I've been lifting weights and doing cocaine all day, probably won't sleep a wink tonight. I also struggled to stay anywhere near the speed limit on the way home.