Amazon.com must make at least 1/3rd of their money from drunken idiots like me. If you'll excuse me, I need to buy more games I won't have time to play. Just to keep up (not that I look like John Mayer) but:
I present to you the cheesiest, most ridiculous thing ever posted to youtube: I challenge anyone to make it all the way through 8 minutes. Also.
Ah! The joys of selling a car on Craigslist where the average IQ of the city is approximately idiot. I've had 3 texts saying "What kind of car you have for sale?" (The ad clearly states what kind of vehicle it is and has several pictures.) One phone call went thusly: Caller: "Espanol!" Me: "What?" Caller: "ESPANOL!" Me: "NO!" (Yelling shit at me tends to make me yell back.) Caller: "Ford Nissan." Me: "What?" Caller: "FORD NISSAN!" Me: "GO FUCK YOUR MOTHER!" A natural born salesman I'm not.
If you're a man at night, you gotta be a man in the morning. He's a good swimmer, but as dumb as a bag of hammers.
And $60 is spent on Amazon.com. Edit: I've bought Tosh.0 volume 3, Dragon's Dogma, and the Sandlot. Hoping I'm not angry with myself when it gets here. Also, I know I've been watching too many kids shows with my daughter when I find myself rating the hotness of the women in children's shows. I would do many dirty things to the chick that plays Marina in The Fresh Beat Band on Nickelodeon. Spoiler
You can see the rusted gears in his head trying to turn. It's like watching a man work a crank, but he forgets which direction moves the load up and down. He has a greater influence on society than some of our best scientists. Remember that.
The fun of selling a car on Craigslist continues.... Text: Sounds good. Can I pay with Paypal and have my associate pick it up? Reply: Go suck a dick. I'm actually starting to enjoy insulting these dipshits.
I am also trying to sell a car. Not surprisingly, the one person who was supposed to meet me backed out 15 minutes before we arranged. This is why I am starting now instead of say, a month before it's time to leave.
Insult everyone that calls and suggest they do horribly graphic things with blood relatives. It may not help sell your vehicle, but it will make you feel better for putting up with their insufferable bullshit. The sad part is that your misplaced anger may spill over into real life. A childhood friend texted me tonight: Friend: Still in Vegas? I was there last month and lost your number. Me: Yeah? How come you have it now? Friend: I was visiting Count's Kustoms. Me: Did you buy something? Friend: No, I met Danny at a car show and he liked my Shelby and invited me down. Me: Go eat a diseased dick. He never replied.
I spent all day yesterday sailing around a "tall ship" in Korea with 35 foreigners. It was awesome, because what beats sitting on a boat with Canadian girls in bikinis getting wasted at 10 a.m.? We did some diving, were featured on Korean television and genuinely had a blast. Sailing is fucking great. The boat captain was cool enough to let a bunch of drunk people climb up to the crows nest, which was terrifying, but awesome upon arrival. Fun conversation sample: Canadian girl wearing a maple leaf bikini (seriously). Korean guy, probably the first time he's ever seen an actual bikini: Is that (pointing to the leaf) a kind of marijuana? Her: (dead fucking stare). Me: Yes. Smoking it makes you really polite. Today, however, fuck sunburn. Also, my neighbour is leaving Korea for the last time, so yay free shit, boo no more "one-armed girl sidekick" stories.