Re: Re: Weekend Drunk Thread 6/28 Or because black women look fucking fantastic in white. Fuck Myrtle Beach has gotten expensive since I moved down here, beach trips are breaking my ass.
My ideal 4th of July involves plenty of bourbon, a hot girl in a bikini top, and tons and tons of fireworks. Sounds really redneck, but seriously, thats my dream each and every year ever since I discovered girls and booze.
4th of July has always been my favorite holiday. The combination of summer, grilling out, the smell of fireworks, kids running around being kids...it was awesome growing up. As an adult I go in for the occasional fireworks show and copius drinking...but what I would really like to do is break out the pvc pipes, bottle rockets, and mortar shell 'grenades' and try and put someone's eye out/burn down a field. Most terrifying 4th of July moment: a then girlfriend and I fired a rocket shaped...well rocket and instead of exploding high up in the air all pretty it made a perfect arch and exploded on top of a neighbors' prized horse. Thankfully, the horse was not physically damaged.
You guys seem to have way more hardcore experiences with fireworks then us in Australia. I remember losing my shit as kid when we let off a solitary bunger inside someone's letterbox. I'm pretty sure Mike is still running.
That's what I thought but the reason I ask is its always at night... Where there's no sun to make you hot. I always figured it for a tropical trend of some kind. That, or the "school uniform" theory of not not letting people stand out by making them dress the same.
You've never had a 4th till your idiot cousin tries to jump the Saturn Missle fireworks right before they go off, brushing his shoes and knocking them towards the women and kids. Or every time the drunk uncle lit bottle rockets out his butt crack
Scariest experience I've had was a cake (which is basically prepackaged, prearranged mortars) flip over each and every shot. That or when a firecracker exploded in my hand. Or when my buddies decided to turn a bottle rocket upside down in a glass beer bottle. Saturn missiles are great, amazing bang for the buck, they are a staple of mine. Ironically I almost think sparklers are the most dangerous things. Apparently they get as hot as 1800-3000 and we let kids run around with them without a second thought.
Yes. My daughter likes them, but we keep a VERY close eye on them with her. It's not just the heat, but kids like throwing them before they die and the handled end has a habit of impaling eyeballs like a Die Hard 2 icicle. And, there's the other potential they have:
I second this sentiment. We go to a friend's every year for the 4th. This year I will be making broccoli salad and a chocolate eclair dish. I might step it up a notch and throw some peanut butter in the eclair, but then I figure why mess with a good thing? Decisions, decisions. When I was a kid, the sparklers we had were a metal of some sort it seemed and they stung when the sparks hit your hand. The ones today are kind of wimpy and made out of paper. You don't seem to get as much mileage out of them. My parents practiced safe-sparkling and always had a bucket of water nearby that we had to throw in our used sparklers when they petered out.
A few safety tips for our American brethren as they prepare for fireworks day: 1. Keep your pets away from the fireworks. Spoiler 2. Keep sand/water handy for fire safety. Spoiler 3. Have an evacuation plan, just in case shit goes down. Spoiler
That last one was jerry rigged for sure. What happened there was those dumb asses own fault. Apparently the third to last was jerry rigged as well, so lesson learned, don't use fireworks in an unintended way.
Last Saturday was a crazy day down at the lake. My buddy and I grabbed a couple of beers and put our chairs in the water to cool off inside and out. We were shooting the shit when I looked to our left - and there were 3 topless young women sunbathing on a dock about a stone's throw away. We were admiring the view when we heard a loud boom - and around the point of the peninsula in front of us came a pirate ship. Flags, masts, wooden ship's wheel, folks in pirate garb and cannons firing. I looked back at the naked ta-tas, then at the "pirate ship", then at my buddy and asked him "Are we drunk already? This can't be happening." we weren't, and it was. Fucking crazy.
Who I hate are the dickweeds who think doing this is funny: Around here we have retarded little shits who like angle-firing air bombs directly over people's homes at night, not considering those damn things can deafen people and shatter glass. I hope they set themselves on fire and look like Spawn for the rest of their lives.
In Texas, middle age men still shoot bottle rockets at each other. Here's the internet poster girl who brought me good business today............
Same girl: ...don't call her an "internet poster girl" if the photo was taken before anybody had the internet.
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They should make vomit ones for tequila drinkers and blood-stained ones for American cops who interrogate immigrants.
That reminds me of that cover story today on USA Today. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2013/06/27/atf-stash-houses-sting-usa-today-investigation/2457109/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nati ... n/2457109/</a> Creating crime to prevent crime just seems wrong to me. Here's some music....