Adult Content Warning

This community may contain adult content that is not suitable for minors. By closing this dialog box or continuing to navigate this site, you certify that you are 18 years of age and consent to view adult content.

Weekend Drunk Thread 6/28

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jun 28, 2013.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. FreeCorps

    FreeCorps
    Expand Collapse
    #1 Internet Boo

    Reputation:
    1
    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2010
    Messages:
    1,785
    Location:
    Boca Raton, FL
    So apparently Ms. Carano is single again. The heavens have given me another shot at glory.
    [​IMG]
    EYES ON THE PRIZE(S).
     
  2. Chellie

    Chellie
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    454
    Location:
    Alberta, Canada
    I have just been given an assignment for which I must create a fictitious medical clinic with a minimum of two practising doctors and create an entire policy and procedure manual for it. Everything from the staff directory to the health and safety stuff to written procedures for anything that may be done in a clinic of that specialty. I'm estimating I can do this in no less than 100 pages, and I'm betting I'll start getting drunk around page 20 after which the manual will get progressively less coherent. I don't have enough beer in the fridge for this assignment.
     
  3. gamecocks

    gamecocks
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    143
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,488
    Sounds like someone is upset they can't have fireworks. You've gotta bring something funnier and more original than the standard cousin fucking jokes.
     
  4. Noland

    Noland
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    41
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    2,237
    Location:
    New Orleans
    Set in the States and it's easy.

    Clinic: Do you have insurance?
    Patient: No.
    Clinic: Fuck off.
     
  5. Rush-O-Matic

    Rush-O-Matic
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    1,363
    Joined:
    Nov 11, 2009
    Messages:
    12,570
    Reminds me of that comedian Blake Clark (he's in all Adam Sandler's movies) that did the joke about being from Georgia.

    Yeah, all my friends out here in Hollywood find out I'm from Georgia, and say "You're all a bunch of hicks that drive trucks and date your cousins."
    Pfff, idiot. I never dated my cousin.
    Fucked her - never dated her.
     
  6. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    70
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    4,917
    Aaaaaaaaand suddenly I'm glad I'm switching to a non-clinical job.

    Make sure you have a needlestick exposure and hiv post-exposure prophylaxis policy. Then save a separate copy without your name and send it to me.
     
  7. gamecocks

    gamecocks
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    143
    Joined:
    Sep 7, 2012
    Messages:
    1,488
    You should go fuck yourself for referring to Blake Clark as anything other than Chet Hunter. You disgust me.
     
  8. Currer Bell

    Currer Bell
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    171
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    1,673
    Heh, I've only just heard of cronuts when Joel McHale posted a pic last week of himself with one on twitter. I immediately fantasized about having a cronut, but admittedly Joel played a very large role in that fantasy.

    As someone who has recently delurked, I will try to post more. I never had much to say when I used to be more active on here, but I suppose anything is better than the radio silence for the past couple years.

    I do think I will change my avatar. Much as I love Sydney Bristow she is looking too damn sulky in that pic. And not even sexy sulky.
     
  9. Chellie

    Chellie
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    454
    Location:
    Alberta, Canada
    S/he is not an experienced Idiot yet, give him a learning curve! LIKE GAWD GAMECOCKS, WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT THIS!

    On an unrelated note, it is too fucking hot. This is Alberta, Canada, the great frozen asshole of the world, and it is currently 42C with humidity. That is 107F. Fuck. This.
     
  10. MoreCowbell

    MoreCowbell
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    14
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    4,185
    People are literally waiting in 3 hours lines here for those things. It's absurd. I hate this city some days.
     
  11. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    983
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    23,088
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    For fireworks?!?!? How are they not in every single corner store in your country? Christ, they are here. And they aren't cheap like in your country. For a 30-shot cube at my closest variety store the size of a clock radio? The low price of $49.99. For one. Fucking. Firework. That price is commonplace everywhere here. These things cost fucking pennies to make and there's no boundry restriction for using them, it's goddamn insane.

    If you want one of those true, professional "shell" fireworks that make the big starburst explosion they'll cost you $75-$100 apiece. No bullshit. We can't have fun up here like you guys unless we're rich.
     
  12. Durbanite

    Durbanite
    Expand Collapse
    Eeyore

    Reputation:
    39
    Joined:
    Oct 30, 2009
    Messages:
    1,145
    Location:
    Weymouth, U.K. (formerly Durban, South Africa)
    That's because the Canadian government assumes the majority of the population are like these guys:



    I think you guys might make an exception for this video. I am not to be blamed if you are drunk and knock yourself unconscious or die from laughter at it*. Youtube tags did not want to work...

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Gng3sPiJdzA

    *It's not Monty Python's Killer Joke skit
     

    Attached Files:

  13. Parker

    Parker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    90
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2010
    Messages:
    5,831
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    I don't have time like that anymore. First of all my entire office of 23 people is behind me in a fully open loft office. If you haven't noticed my posting has dropped significantly. I don't really check TiB while at home. Second of all, I don't care about you fuckers that much to track all your mental deficiencies. Everyone falls into 4 categories. Hipster, Hick, Haughty or Old. All with a pinch of holier than thou.

    But to make a game out of our deficiencies/tendencies would be to connect board members to these 45 things said online about pubes. It's at the point where we'll post a topic and we know exactly who is going to say what.

    <a class="postlink" href="http://the-toast.net/2013/07/02/all-you-can-say-about-pubes-online/" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://the-toast.net/2013/07/02/all-you ... es-online/</a>

    Nom is obviously 44 and 45.
     
  14. PIMPTRESS

    PIMPTRESS
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    79
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2009
    Messages:
    3,239
    Location:
    Denver-ish
    Frank is 31.
     
  15. Chellie

    Chellie
    Expand Collapse
    Disturbed

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2009
    Messages:
    454
    Location:
    Alberta, Canada
    While I agree it's hilarious, it's not much of a game because most of that already HAS been said on here. I read half of those in the voices I've always imagined you guys to have.

    ...Is it weird I hear your imaginary voices in my head when I read your posts? I can't be the only one.
     
  16. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    70
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    4,917

    Frank is 31.
     
  17. Parker

    Parker
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    90
    Joined:
    Jan 18, 2010
    Messages:
    5,831
    Location:
    Chicago, IL
    Yes its fucking weird. But its fun because there is an outside view on how every internet discussion comes down has the same shit said over and over.

    Ghetto, Pimptress beat you by like 5 minutes.
     
  18. Crown Royal

    Crown Royal
    Expand Collapse
    Just call me Topher

    Reputation:
    983
    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2009
    Messages:
    23,088
    Location:
    London, Ontario
    Chiming in on the earlier lurker discussion, this board isn't as easy to post on as I imagine others are. There has always been a "funny or die" mentality to it, and even more the former board. Probably 95% of the posts on this board have some sort of satirical jab, wisecrack or punch line because the one main focus has always been humour on here. That's the reason I think we have any lurkers in the first place: because the board is so damn funny. And with posters like CharlesJohnson on here, I can see why people are inclined not to post because member like that are a tough act to follow.

    I encourage any and ALL lurkers to post whatever and whenever they feel like it. Hell, if you have the good taste to stick around here and enjoy, I can't see why people in here wouldn't value your opinion. I'd sure love to know what the quiet members think of this place.

    Shitpussy.
     
  19. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
    Expand Collapse
    Emotionally Jaded

    Reputation:
    70
    Joined:
    Oct 22, 2009
    Messages:
    4,917
    Frank is 31.
     
  20. Jason Mc

    Jason Mc
    Expand Collapse
    Village Idiot

    Reputation:
    0
    Joined:
    Oct 21, 2009
    Messages:
    47
    Lurkers want to see more Aietus. Wasn't there an epic meltdown between him and another board member that included obscene, and sloppy MS paint drawings?

    I hope so.

    From my perspective it also feels like a dysfunctional family reunion. When we actually had a dysfunctional family reunion thread was I the only one that felt deja-vu? I mean Ballsack has gone from self proclaimed lawyer big-shot baller, to scapegoat, to hairbrush scapegoat, to a moderately self reflective man on a quest to happiness, to happily married financial planner. I mean - how is that not the story of someones young uncle?

    Except we all want to see each other naked. Okay, scratch the family reunion, it's like Big Brother. Strangers come together and share stories. Which is what, I suppose a message board is. I feel this particular contribution has quickly gone nowhere.

    Anyway, fellow lurkers I too am interested. Why have you lurked in this place for years? Is it just the funny? Have you followed anyone's story/life arc? Stalk much? Ever found enough info to find a user on Facebook/Myspace/POF/whatever and totally creeped on them. (Not it) If you only post once, make it now.

    And you better make it funny you creeps.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.