They weren't sloppy - they were crude. But, I thought that was Gris and 'sack. And, 'sack left because we're not funny enough anymore. And NettDaddy left because he's buried in DCC's back yard. And, DCC left because she started her own business and got too busy or something. Chater changed his name to Kojak and left to count all the stacks of money he makes from me clicking on the Meet Hot Cougars In My Area ads at the top of TiB. BlueDog left because he got tired of everybody making fun of people that believe in Jesus. People move on, so lurkers need to step up.
Sometimes I wonder if the people who post in the boobie/booty threads remember that there are actual lurkers on the board and that this is the internet. Not that I imagine you would care, but to find it creepy seems a bit silly considering you made the posts and told the stories and hooked up with whomever you chose to at the meet ups. Like other people have said before, they tell us things here that they wouldn't tell people in their non-internet lives. This includes lurkers. As far as the lurkers are concerned, I imagine seeing a picture of your boobs here is probably no different than seeing just any picture of boobs on a random website. It's just now they know you like assplay.
What. The. Fuck. <a class="postlink" href="http://www.khq.com/story/22746734/police-man-left-pig-wearing-sweatpants-in-hot-car" onclick="window.open(this.href);return false;">http://www.khq.com/story/22746734/polic ... in-hot-car</a>
Pigs aside, according to recent media flare-ups there has apparently been an emerging epidemic of parents leaving their small children in locked cars-- with the windows up-- in the summer. And deaths have occurred. First things first: an "epidemic" this isn't. They say that like people have no control over it, like they have any excuse at all for forgetting their child anywhere. There's no excuse for this. Zero. Helen Keller couldn't be this dumb. This is simply people who shouldn't have children in the first place being monstrously retarded and irresponsible. If my daughter (who is four) so much as leaves my plain sight in public my Spidey-senses go batshit. I expect anybody with a young child to behave the same way. You left your own child in a makeshift microwave while you went shopping for Uggs, are you FUCKING kidding me? Shoot yourself in the fucking head and request "no funeral" in the suicide note. That's still more than you deserve. You should be in prison simply for reproducing.
I don't know how the fuck people can leave kids in the car. I have left a 2 year old sleeping in a car seat with the a/c on high and ran in a gas station to get her some milk.. Total time out of the car was less than 4 minutes and I wasn't comfortable with doing it at all, even though the car was locked and in my vision the entire time. How do you think it's ok to leave a kid for that long? Fucking people should be sterilized. I work with a guy whose brother gives his kids cold medicine and hits the bar with his old lady to save money on a babysitter.... How fucked is that?
You mean...bread? Can someone please tell me why I can't remember that they are called rainbow sprinkles? All I want is an ice cream cone with rainbow sprinkles. I pull up to the window and order my "medium twist cone with sprinkles. (pause) Not chocolate." Every. Damn. Time. Then the kid working the drive thru says condescendingly, "you mean rainbow?" Yes I mean rainbow!!! Dammit! What in the hell? Chocolate sprinkles didn't even exist when I was a kid. Last night was worse than usual because I couldn't understand what they said and I kept asking what they were called, then it got uncomfortable and I just said, "yeah, not the chocolate kind." If my husband could have crawled out of the car by the time I was done he would have. But he really wanted his Blizzard. What? Stop looking at me. You said I could post whatever. Don't say it if you don't mean it. The only time I've given my kid stuff to make them sleep was just this past year when my son had the flu. He was coughing so bad that he wasn't sleeping and a friend of mine suggested Benadryl to help him sleep because it relaxes the chest muscles. I don't know if that is true, but it worked and he was able to sleep.
I'm actually trying to sell my girlfriend on 15. now. I mean there are Groupons for this shit. For some reason I kept reading "Benadryl" as "Brandy" like 4 times. I'm thirsty.
Jesus Christ, yes. The only woman with whom I have regular contact these days is a very large lesbian forklift operator. So, lurker women, if the thought of a lonely middle aged man desiring your company doesn't freak you right the fuck out, come on and say something.
The baby left in a car is certainly very tragic. This happened to a young man in my town about 15 years ago. He was to drop off the child at the babysitters before heading to work, something his wife usually did. The baby fell asleep immediately on the drive and the father drove straight to work, locked the car as he usually did and went in to work. About 1pm the wife called to find out why the baby was not at the sitters. Well it was about 105 degrees that day and the baby had no chance. My twins were about a year old at the time, and my thought was by sheer luck that has not happened to me. The young man was just starting a new business (as I was) and sometimes your entire focus from the time you left for work was on how you were going to keep the doors open that day. It is a horrible thing to happen, but I can certainly see how it can happen. Now I need to go home and have a drink as it is again about 105 degrees.
Quick, someone get Noland a snake and hold it straight for him. I channeled my inner lesbian forklift driver tonight and changed my very first tire. I feel all manly and butch and shit. ANGEL WANT MEAT. ANGEL WANT WOMAN. BRING MEAT AND WOMAN.