The problem is once the hillbillies use up the natural resources they'll invade here. I'm blowing up the Ambassador and Bluewater bridges because as soon as they cross the river they see the "100" sign on the highway and in their firewater haze they'll not know about the metric change and turn the 401 into The Road Warrior. They'll love the wide lines and high medians that prevent ditch rollovers. It's cool, I still have the Hockey Pads if you want to go the way of Mad Max. I just need a one-eyed Aussie Cattle Dog. Those are badass, mean little sonsabitches dog. Mine will be named "Mike Wallace" and at the snap of my fingers your balls are his lunch. He eats only the balls of the living each day to keep his edge. I guess my weapon will be my grandfather's hunting axe, I dropped this thing on my foot a while ago I'm pretty sure I could do some damage with it.
The thought of you coming out on top of any violent exchange makes me giggle. This includes sex with your wife.
Violent exchanges with me usually involve high-speed vehicles toboggans. There's no winning there. And I triumph all rooms of this house. YOU HERE ME, VAGINO-AMERICAN?!?!!?! Right now I'm holding a chainsaw posing on a fresh-cut log in a sunbeam while wifey feeds me grapes. It's a Husqvarna.
Heh. The hillbillies will have 'wildered on our side insulting your manhood. Because we have good vittles. Resistance is futile. I'll even supply her with a megaphone.
She can rib me through the circuits of a computer all she wants. She should ask reasons of how a couple stay together for eleven years without boring each other. It's not just because I do amazing cup-stacking techniques.
in other news, i met up with some friends tonight, including a couple who had a new baby,for a 31st birthday party on the patio of a bar across the river(QC). We were sitting pleasantly for about 25 minutes before an apparent manger came out and told us that since they didn't serve food, the baby couldn't be there "for insurance reasons". I say apparent because i came in the back and passed him smoking by the door, and having a loud and tense conversation with his wife about their impending divorce(he ended the call with, "fuck you, cunt, tell my lawyer). I'm not mad at the terrible bar, i expected as much from this place, but has anyone ever heard of a "no babies on the patio" law. I'm still confused how the "no food" made it different than the chain-restaurant across the street. for the record, both parents were less than 10 ft from the child at all times, and the mother had water, and the dad had 1 beer.
Only a Canadian would bring a sled to the Apocalypse and think that was a smart idea. I raise your high speed toboggan with a well placed magnifying glass.
Bylaws vary place to place, but usually a true "bar" is one that serves just drinks, and therefore considered an age of majority place. A restaurant/bar a.k.a "Grill" usually passes for what the chains are, more restaurant than bar. Doesn't sound like the parents were offside, but it's so easy to lose you liquor license if the wrong people are there at the wrong time.
Oh I've had violent one-on-one exchanges too, and like nobody I've ever met I have a habit of getting knifed. Or tree branched. Or fire hydranted (that one sucked). Yeah, people like to "jump in" on fights in this town, in a not-fair way. I do not miss that.
Didn't you break your tailbone and get put out of commission for a couple weeks after a tragic tobogganing accident?
I'm thinking about starting up a google hangout in a few if anyone is sufficiently drunk and has a gmail account. Lemme know if you want an invite.
Yep. And recently tore my thumb out of its socket. I am a fucking trauma magnet. My wife has no response towards it now besides out-loud laughter because it boggles her mind.