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Weekend Drunk Thread, 6/7

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jun 7, 2013.

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  1. Parker

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    You guys think she would have given him the 30 days for smacking his lawyer's ass if there weren't cameras in the courtroom or reporters that would make it a big story? For some reason I don't think she would have.
     
  2. JWags

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    What a hardo bitch. Seriously. She's attractive but likely an icy twat. I mean, come on. Funny that she made it immediately about her.
     
  3. Parker

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    This is kinda what I'm talking about, I feel like it became a thing like "This celebrity isn't going to show me up!" It was more of an emotional judgment than something that's written in the law.
     
  4. caseykasem

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    Exactly. Judges do discretionary stuff like this all the time. It doesn't just apply to celebrities though, I've seen similar sentences for things like this, although I've never seen anyone slap their lawyers ass. Judges hate their courtroom being used for stupid shit or for anyone to be disrespected in their courtroom (especially the judge). The fact that he's a celebrity and an cameras were present probably only added to it.
     
  5. toddamus

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    I told my kickball teammates I'd wear short shorts to our next game because alcohol and trying to impress girls can make you say stupid things. I don't think I can get out of it without looking stupid, I think I'm screwed. I just looked up running shorts and I'm starting to regret saying I'd do it, dam those things are small.
     
  6. Frank

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    She seems like the sort of frigid bitch that would have given him the sentence either way.
     
  7. bewildered

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    She looks very, very similar to my cousin's ex wife.

    Yes, she would have thrown him in the clink either way.
     
  8. Juice

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    [​IMG]
     
  9. Kubla Kahn

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    If there is one place, just one fucking place, not to pull any fucking level of shenanigans it's a fucking court room. Being in and out of court for my DUI I swear I saw people get stiffer sentences because they couldn't keep their mouth shut all the time. Just had to give their piece. When if they'd have been polite and respectful and listened to what ever representation they had said they'd have been a lot better off. Shit I got chewed out once when I went to pay a leash law ticket because I spoke out of turn to the judge.
     
  10. scotchcrotch

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    I am so sick of seeing Kim Kardashian's face everywhere.

    I really hope she has a still birth.
     
  11. tweetybird

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    These two things are fundamentally incompatible. You cannot possibly comprehend how much ink/screen time/unholy death spiral of attention she'd get with a (mostly) full term still birth. It might alter the time/space continuum. Never forget the American equation: celebrity + tragedy = AWESOME.
     
  12. dixiebandit69

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    As much as I hate "celebrities" like Kim Kardashian, I wish no ill will upon her child. The kid had nothing to do with its parents' lives.
    It's the same reason why I think racism is bullshit: You didn't ASK to be born the color you are.

    What I hope is that Kim gets stretch-marks from hell, and has to deliver via c-section, that way she can't ever wear a bikini in public again.
    EDIT: Although, I've seen some pretty good ceasarian cover-ups...Don't ask.

    And here's this (No pubic hair, I promise):
    [​IMG]
     
  13. Angel_1756

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    First off, Dixie, that girl on the right has a little bush happening, so you're a liar.

    Secondly, my cousin is a photographer in Copenhagen and posted this photo as evidence of her latest workshop. I quote: "The story is that the photographer here got the model to undress and commented on how big her muff was. Then she went to the bathroom, put water on it, and fluffed it up even more for the photo." This is an artsy photo, but viewer discretion is advised for everyone but Dixie.
     

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  14. Kampf Trinker

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    My first month at KU an awful drinking binge led to me getting arrested on a criminal damage misdemeanor. I was black out drunk and didn't put all the pieces of the night together until about a week later from multiple sources. I learned that I had been breaking at least four laws at the same time.

    - criminal damage
    - trespassing
    - minor in consumption
    - resisting arrest

    They tossed me into the drunk tank and I stumbled around my cell verbally abusing the officers on duty for six hours straight. I started a 'fuck the cops' chant and encouraged the other prisoners to join in. I accused them of arresting innocent civilians just so they could pretend to tax payers that they were working. I told them all sorts of thoroughly unrealistic promises of retribution that including getting them fired and suing the police department.

    Try to fuck up that badly in one night. I promise you, it's not easy.

    When I woke up to the worst hang over of my life I apologized profusely and spent the rest of my time around the cops eating shit and getting made fun of. Yes, it was embarrassing, but sometimes you just have to swallow your pride and take the punches. When my court date finally arrived all the other charges except criminal damage were dropped. I got hit with a $300 fine and that was it. Jail time got waived and I didn't even have to do any community service. I'm sure this varies by location, but our legal system is incredibly lenient to first time offenders, especially if you have the right attitude. If you're forthcoming, acknowledge your mistakes, and don't try to constantly correct them with the 'real' story it goes a long way. When I was at court nearly half of the people with mandatory appearances didn't even show up and got their fines immediately doubled. A large percentage of those that did show up tried to contest their crimes when they were clearly guilty. They thought they were going to get off, but in most cases were just fucking themselves harder.

    Never say never, but I haven't got arrested since and it's certainly not in my future plans. I won't say the judge didn't overreact, but think about what Chad Johnson did for a second. He head-butted his wife and then blew off his probation officer. Then, once jail time got waived he acted like the whole thing was a big joke. Sometimes when people clearly don't give a fuck you have to punish them until they do.
     
  15. toytoy88

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    It would be much more amusing if she had an extremely tall Caucasian baby.
     
  16. xrayvision

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    Today, I learned(from CNN) that in my state, if I get a hooker and she takes my money and then refuses to perform the agreed-upon services, I can kill her. Because she instantly becomes a thief under the law. As long as it takes place "in the night".
     
  17. bewildered

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    I wonder if this counts dates that do not end in sex.
     
  18. dixiebandit69

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    Wait, so does this mean that I can legally shoot/kill people who break into my shop?
     
  19. toytoy88

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    Only if they promise to blow you beforehand. Otherwise, no. Or maybe yes.
     
  20. Cult

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    I made the mistake of posting on reddit and someone accused me of "mansplaining" to them. Is that like where you explain something except do so while drinking whiskey and smoking a cigar?
     
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