Okay this is getting blown way out of proportion. I didnt just jump in the shower covered in poop and her covered in vomit and start combining our juices into some unholy porridge. I wiped up with baby wipes, (as much as I could) then threw the laundry in. Meanwhile she was throwing up. I started pooping again in the other bathroom. Once we she was done, we waited for the laundry to finish and jumped in the shower. We had a good laugh, banged, found out she had her period, and that was it. Then I pooped some more, laid a towel down on the in case of more sharting, and slept. Heres a pic of the shower aftermath: Spoiler What the fuck is wrong with you?
Not really. I had volcanic diarrhea for a month a while back and there was no way I was taking any chances. You should have taken a video of it. German people would pay big bucks for that kind of thing.
This coming from the person that linked me to The Church of Fudge. Please note you do not want to go to The Church of Fudge. Once again, under no circumstance should you go to The Church of Fudge.
There is no way in hell that after someone shits the bed then fucks his on-the-rag girlfriend after she's spent the last half hour throwing up am I going to feel like anything is wrong with me for clicking on the spoiler tag to see the aftermath. It's like a car wreck. I can't help but look.
So this is my cliff notes of what happened, correct me of I'm wrong. You're having a normal night than bam, shit everywhere. You clean up, while you're cleaning up your girlfriend is in the bathroom puking her guts out (a half hour of puking counts as that). After that you guys are in the shower, so little Juicy gets excited. So you figure what the hell. Then you get a bit of a burning blow job and get laid. You must not have much of a shit aversion. I've had to clean up crap before from a grown person (long story), the last thing on my mind after that was huh I'd like to fuck something. Also, I can promise you you didn't get every last drop of poo, I'd bet my life on it.
The period/shit sex is one thing; you shower, you get horny, whatever. But did you have to start it off by feeding each other chocolate covered cherries?
That is fucking funny. I also think ya'll are being very close minded for judging our friend Juice, he's free to make his own choices in life without judgement.
There are a lot of strange aspects to my job, but one side effect of spending my days having people graphically describe their sex lives to me and asking people exactly who came in what hole is that I oscillate wildly between being super horny and being forced to focus on only the grossest parts of sex and my vagina spends most of its week all sorts of confused. I'm just glad I'm not a teenager having sex anymore. These kids do strange things and try to call it sex.
Christ, it's like marital infidelity and STDs are the theme of the week. Just in time for all the magazines and news outlets to go into wedding mode, too.
Yeah, wedding mode. The last of my siblings got engaged on Saturday, and all three did it in an eight month span. My family will be in wedding mode for the next year. I'm the last free man left in the family. My plan is to hold out as long as possible.
So has anyone called in about eyeball licking, or "oculolinctus"? This is some hot shit right here. No idea whatsoever, you mutant. "Worming." We have a winner. I am kind of creeped out.