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Weekend Drunk Thread, 6/7

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jun 7, 2013.

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  1. Popped Cherries

    Popped Cherries
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    Even better!
    Make things as completely awkward as possible and tell her if anyone finds out, "Bitches get stitches!"

    Seriously though, just tell her you like her stems and flash her a smile. It doesn't have to be a strategic military operation to tell a girl she's hot.
     
  2. Kubla Kahn

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    Did I just shit myself?

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    As far as I can tell his intent is to possibly fuck this girl in the future. I think he realizes catcalling is not a super smooth way of keeping her open to the possibility.
     
  3. VanillaGorilla

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    Okay, I'm going to get a little advanced here, but bear with me. You need to set up a basic push pull. Give her a positive, but immediately follow up with a neg. Tell her that you notice that she keeps herself looking good, and it must be a real challenge with her body type. Then tell her that you need to catch up with your friends and take off.

    Works every time.
     
  4. Juice

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    Buffalo chicken pizza for sups.

    #YOLO #Like4Pizza #Pizza #Yum #OneLuv #HungryMan #I<3Pizza #BuffChicken4Lyfe
     
  5. Frank

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    She'll probably think you're confident and mysterious and seek your validation. It's bullet proof.
     
  6. CharlesJohnson

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    #Shitmyself #BloodyStool #ShowerSex #Poopstains #StanleySteamer #single
     
  7. Frank

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    ?????
     
  8. Noland

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    Apparently Kanye West had the following to say about interrupting Taylor Swift at whatever awards show that was:

    Before today I had no opinion of this man at all. Now I think he might be the greatest man alive.
     
  9. FreeCorps

    FreeCorps
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    #1 Internet Boo

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    Our good friend Juice is apparently immune to poop making relationships awkward.
     
  10. Juice

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    She owned me one. I think I posted about it before, but last year on New Years Eve day she had a nasty stomach bug, shit her pants, threw up, cried heavily, and had to go to the ER via ambulance. I had to explain to the medic why there was shit covered yoga pants in the bathroom and vomit in the sink. Luckily she's a nurse at that so they waived the ambulance ride, so a bright side? Whatevs... Now it was my turn.

    In other news, it's an hour long but it's quite the saga. And a depressing one:

     
    #390 Juice, Jun 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  11. Parker

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    This invaded my eyeballs this morning on ESPN.

    Yes. That is a thing.
     
    #391 Parker, Jun 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  12. lhprop1

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    At what age is incontinence becoming an issue with men? By the looks of that commercial, I should be pissing my pants right now.
     
    #392 lhprop1, Jun 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  13. JWags

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    That's an awesome usage of cocky funny bro. Totally established you as AMOG.
     
  14. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    The Virgin Mary herself just came in her golden panties.

    Never forget a quick spritz of cologne when she isn't looking. I can't count how many times women comment on my smell when I just hose it on all night.
     
  15. VanillaGorilla

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    TL;D..W?

    Dad got the short end of the stick with custody. Mom is a bitch. Stepdad says five words the entire time and I hate his guts. Posturing motherfucker. Fourteen year old wants to live with dad and isn't taking no for an answer. Won't get out of the truck. Mom calls the cops. Waterworks start when the cops show up. Mom goes keeps at it and is grasping for anything to get the kid out of the truck. Kid stands his ground. Dad is hilarious at 1) how little he says and 2) how much he knows his ex wife will talk herself into a position that she doesn't want to be in. Cops are pros through the entire thing. Cops- Are you filming this? Dad- Yes. Cops- Okay. No problem. We're filming you, too. Dad- Great. Cops- Great.

    Mom tries to physically remove the kid from the truck. Kid defends himself by pushing her hands and arms out of the truck. Mom tries a hail Mary and says that her kid assaulted her (wtf) and should be left in her custody. Cops are like wtf? Kid feels around for the right words to use in order to not go back to his bitchass mom. Finally hits on a strong set when he says he's scared to go home. Cops concede. Mom gets super pissed, but ain't about to go to jail. Kid goes with dad.

    Dad may be a scumbag. Who the fuck knows? However, he has his ex wife's number and knew enough to keep his mouth shut and let her draw enough rope to hang herself, which is exactly what she did.
     
    #395 VanillaGorilla, Jun 13, 2013
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 27, 2015
  16. Superfantastic

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    That's what you took away from that vid? Seriously? How did the Dad get the short end of the stick with custody? He admits that he agreed to only see his kids for two, two-week breaks in the summer, in part because he can't afford to care for them in his above-a-warehouse apartment (also basically admits that he has zero respect for police -- such a good influence). Dude agreed to the custody arrangement and is now letting the kid dictate what's gonna happen. I would imagine a good parent would show a sliver of responsibility and explain to the brat ("I don't like it here cuz we fight all the time!"..."She tried slamming the door to my room, I pushed her in self-defense!") that when you agree to do something -- let alone sign a legal contract/document/whatever -- you fucking do it. Seems like a pretty clear case of a son wanting to live with his alcoholic, pot-growing "father" instead of living under mom's "rules".

    Apologies for interrupting y'alls drunk thread.
     
  17. MoreCowbell

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    Man, three of you actually watched the whole video?
     
  18. Frank

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    Well, this explains everything, nurses can go from cleaning shit to horny in the blink of an eye.
     
  19. CharlesJohnson

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  20. scotchcrotch

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    Ahhh geez, Rupert Murdoch and his third wife got divorced?







    If there's no hope for these two, good luck for the rest of us.
     

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