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Weekend Drunk Thread, 6/7

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Nom Chompsky, Jun 7, 2013.

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  1. ghettoastronaut

    ghettoastronaut
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    The top 50 prescribers of oxycontin in the United States are all in Florida.

    I once worked with an American pharmacist who had moved to Canada. I shared this fact with him. He replied, "Yeah, that's Florida."
     
  2. Flat_Rate

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    You people love to shit all over rednecks, fine.

    But you leave the Waffle House alone, that's fucking fine dining to me.
     
  3. FreeCorps

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    This. You guys shut your filthy cock holsters about Waffle House. How dare you.

    I've lived in south Florida most of my time in the U.S., but I had a stint in northwest Florida (Plant City ya'll). A fine southern gentleman once asked me where I was from. When I replied that I was originally from Peru, he asked what part of Mexico that was in. That particular exchange pretty much encapsulates Plant City.
     
  4. toddamus

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    Plant City/ Polk County may be the epicenter of fuckedupness in Florida if its possible that there is only one place that is the most fucked up. Hell, there was a pastor that shot one of his parishioners for sleeping with his wife.
     
  5. Bundy Bear

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    Finished our last half day of classes and have the afternoon to ourselves. I think I'm going to drown this migraine in beer and curry.
     
  6. Angel_1756

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    The Big Four-Oh

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    I'm playing golf tomorrow and just realized that one of my friends got drunk on the long weekend and drew tiny penises on every one of my balls in permanent marker. How embarrassing.
     
  7. toytoy88

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    My little cousin in Mississippi was 1/2 Filipino. She excitedly informed me one day that she had contacted her father in the Philippines.

    "Did you know they speak a different language there? It's an island in the ocean!" she proudly told me as if she'd just discovered uranium. She was 17 at the time.

    She spent the first 13 years of her life in Florida. It's pretty bad when you move to Mississippi and lower the bell curve.
     
  8. toddamus

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    I've crapped on Mississippi before and Gator always has a comment. Apparently Gator lives there. From what I've heard there's the South and then there's Mississippi. From my knowledge Alabama is actually a step ahead of in terms of modernity. Shocking ain't it.
     
  9. toytoy88

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    Alone in the dark, drooling on himself

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    I spent 8 years in bum fuck Mississippi and it was a bit of culture shock at first. It was pretty much akin to stepping back in time 50 years.

    When I went back there to sell my house a couple of months ago, I really didn't want to leave. The people are what you'd read about in an old National Geographic about hill folk. They are warm, kind, and welcoming. They are also proudly clinging to an archaic belief system. It's one of those things where you kind of learn how not to poke the bear.

    I'm pretty easily adaptable and a hillbilly myself, so I kind of fit right in down there. I did have one dip shit invite me to a Klan rally, which kind of pissed me off...I had a belly full of those dumb asses growing up in North Idaho. I did get a lot of hateful glaces when my best friend there and I went out in public, he's black and apparently intermingling of races down there is frowned upon.

    Mississippi is what it is. I enjoyed my time there and came to call it home, I may just move back there once my Aunt passes. It's a simple life and I like simple.
     
  10. Rob4Broncos

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    "Waffle House: our secret ingredient is AIDS."
     
  11. toytoy88

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    I just walked outside to have a cigarette. My neighbor's little black yippy dog went bat shit insane barking at me. The neighbor yelled out the door "Nigger! Shut up!"

    My neighbor is a black lady.

    Wow.
     
  12. gogators

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    Hold the fuck up. Have any of y'all actually been to Alabama? They are no better off than MS. TN isn't much of a step up either... unless you don't count Memphis.
     
  13. Juice

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    Maybe she was yellin at her slave? Blacks had slaves too. Didn't you see Django?
     
  14. effinshenanigans

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    The first, and only, time I was in a Waffle House was at 3am in Ft. Lauderdale. The only other people in the place were two hookers and their jittery pimp who was trying to sell "a whole lotta blow" over the phone.

    When his deal went south, he hung up his phone, reached into his pocket, and then spiked a fist full of change into the booth, screaming, "Bitches, this isn't all you can eat!"

    They hadn't gotten any food yet.
     
  15. Crown Royal

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    Just call me Topher

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    Florida's photo negative has to be California. There are parts of it I would live in starting right now (north). However, this is also a state that relentlessly brags about how progressive it is and drives the point home by banning gay marriage. And unless you're famous, rich or beautiful you don't exist.
     
  16. Juice

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    Funny thing about California, there was at one point a movement by the northern part of the state and parts of southern Oregon to succeed from both states and form a new one called Jefferson due to vast cultural differences from the south.
     
  17. zzr

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    Alabama - Way more than an hour behind Georgia.
     
  18. Rush-O-Matic

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    And you haven't been back?! That sort of experience is why I keep going. Well, that and a patty melt double plate scattered covered and topped.
     
  19. Crown Royal

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    Speaking as an outsider that's been around your country, hands down to worst chain restaurant is Hoolihans or whatever the fuck its called. It hates human beings and wants them to die. I have never seen a cavalcade of grosser-looking people this side of mid-80s Chernobyl. It's Xanadu for fat people.
     
  20. Kubla Kahn

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    Never been to Old Country Buffet? That place is depressing.
     
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